( From page I 9 )


The whole concept of dancing at parties depends on the crowd. If it‘s something you want to encourage then throw on disco classics such as ‘YMCA‘ or ‘I Will Survive‘ and there’s bound to be a group of pissed girls or gay guys who‘ll jump to their feet. To make it all stop. put on anything by Phil Collins.

Drinking games

The fast—track to a good time as inhibitions. self- respect and secrets go flying out the door. Some of the best:

0 The Name Game: sit in a circle. liirst person says a famous person‘s name. eg James (‘aan. next person uses the first letter of that surname as the first letter of the first name of another celebrity. eg Carrie Fisher. And so on. Any hesitation or mistake means it‘s time to drink. Challenging ridiculous made-up names is allowed and heavy penalties should be imposed on the chancer.

0 Fuzzy Duck: once more sit in a circle. (ioing clockwise each person says ‘fuz/y duck” until someone chooses to say 'does he'." Direction round the circle then changes and everyone has to say ‘ducky ill/.1. instead. Repeat process and keep the pace up. Mistakes mean drinking an agreed amount. lixpect colourful mistakes.

0 The Rizla Game: people always think they‘ve just invented this one but it has in fact

22 THE LIST ‘3'; 241No. l/")’.‘

been around for several centuries. Everyone

writes a famous character‘s name on a Rizla paper. then the paper is stuck on someone else‘s forehead. Taking it in turns everyone gets to ask the others a yes/no question. eg ‘Am I a footballer‘.". ‘Do I have blond hair'." The winner is the person who guesses their identity first. the drunkenness comes in as you have to take a drink every time the answer to your question is no.

True/False: everyone has to take turns

making two statements about themselves. a

truth and a big lie. The others vote as to

which is the true one. everyone who gets it

wrong has to take a drink. As the game goes on and everyone gets drunker. statements such as ‘I used to be a secret agent' become more and more believable.

123: one for later in the evening. whenever someone shouts l23 Drink (or another clever codeword) everyone has to have a drink. Simple. buteflecuve.

Kicking people out So you‘ve thrown a marvellous party and it's been a wonderful success. but all good things must come to an end. You can never be too subtle when it comes to finally getting rid of your chums. so don‘t bother putting Peggy Lee's ‘The Party‘s Over on the stereo then sitting there with an expectant expression. It's not going to happen. Various more effective methods should be tried. Slamming on all the lights and shouting “ladies and gentlemen will you finish up your drinks and move out .\'()W‘ in your best landlord voice is one. Hiding what’s left of the booze is another (why would they stay when there‘s nothing to drink‘.’). Putting ‘The Birdie Song’ on the stereo might work or it might backfire when the crowd becomes nostalgic and starts talking about old times. Whichever method you choose it won't be easy: having a side-kick built like a brick house will speed things up. Resign yourself to the fact that a few people will remain unconscious on your carpet and console yourself with the thought that you can guilt—trip them into tidying tip the next day.

The Aftermath

Cleaning up and assessing the damage

Perhaps you locked away all your valuables in advance. If not the Yellow Pages has full details of professional cleaners. french polishers. joiners. plumbers. etc. Minor jobs can be tackled yourself. ()pen those windows and let the fresh air in. Clean the stairwell if you‘ve got one. it will have bad things on it. but it‘s your friends‘ fault so in the name of neighbour relations get washing.

Start clearing up before everybody who stayed the night buggers off home. maybe encourage them with bacon and egg rolls (Linda McCartney sausages for the veggies). and try and move the furniture back the next day rather than sitting on the bare floor fora week. Or perhaps this is when you‘ll discover that minimalist living is what‘s always been missing from your lives. Take your mind off your hangover and the mess by racking your brains about what sordid happenings went on the night before. If you can‘t remember. make it up. Finally. never ask the neighbours if they heard you. You may not like the reception you receive.

ar ty

Peep e

No time to plan the mother of all parties? Better get the professionals in.

\‘des: Allan Radcliffe

ne Edinburgh-based organisation

that goes out of its way to tailor

parties to its clients’ needs is the House of Bacchus. Established two years ago, Bacchus organises ten high-class events monthly, which utilise Scotland’s unique historic venues. 'When we first started, we felt Edinburgh’s events scene wasn’t as far advanced as it should be for a capital city,’ says managing director Sam Gough. ‘But we became established in Scotland through word of mouth. We take clients' ideas and provide the general decorative scheme, so every event is unique.’

The company provides mostly corporate away days. One innovation of which the team is particularly proud is its ‘mobile stock exchange bar’, in which prices rise and fall according to demand. Bacchus also organises themed private parties and weddings throughout the year. With over 1000 venues on the company’s books, clients can orchestrate their dream party, be that on an island or barge, in a ruined castle or medieval abbey.

From the sublime to the ridiculous, and if it’s something a bit cheeky you’re after, it’s time to call in Kissy Kissy Strip Strip with its squad of kiss, strip and hug-o-grams. The agency, run by married couple Jerry and Wendy Crichton, provides bawdy entertainment to stags and hens, office parties and leaving dos, indoors or al fresco, throughout the central belt. ‘We have around seven dancers on our books,’ says Jerry. ‘Not everyone wants a full strip or even a kiss-o-gram, so our dancers are expected to go from one extreme to the other. A policeman might turn up at the party and make an arrest or you might be scolded by a schoolteacher or examined by a nurse. We also have two golden bears and a panda that give hugs to grannies and young kids, so it’s a very wide industry.’

Of course, if your party requires gentler, family entertainment, one reliable all- rounder is Ricky McLeod, alias Tricky Ricky. While the name conjures up images of dodgy Barras market traders, entertainer Ricky was once mistakenly booked in place of one Tricky Dicky, a male stripper from Glenrothes. A consummate professional, who has been performing as a magician since childhood, Ricky is available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and, well, pretty much anything. ‘You’ve got to be prepared to do anything or you’ll starve . . . he says.

Party on dudes!

Tricky Ricky