What you gain on the swings you lose on the two-pint cocktail pitchers. But the dear green place is also a cheap green place.

Words: Carolyn Aitken

9.308"! I've got my action pants and leisure trousers on: let the high jinx commence.

Bank balance: 5220

10am Purchase a First Bus all-day ticket for £1.95. head to the nearest site of free Cultural delights the Pollok Kist Museum. The small museum is situated inside the Pollok Leisure Centre. which also has a swimming pool, gym and library. Being bunged up with a cold, I skip the swimming, for safety‘s sake. Bank balance: £18.05

11am Jump an X9 bus to the city centre. and head for the Gallery of Mooern Art on Queen Street for the Typical Men exhibition, which is free. Whoopla. what a bargain.

Bank balance: still £18.05

11 .403"! For more Glasgow culture than you'll find in any museum. we go to Paddy’s Market. which is a free-for-all of useless second-hand crap. with the odd outrageous bargain hiding under a mountain of net curtains. A place where sun-Ioungers are used as stalls. junkies stagger about clutching bottles of lrn Bru.



1 The Horse Shoe Bar Drury Street. £1.10.

2 The Blob Shop Sauchiehall Street. $31.40.

3 Casibah) Lynedoch Street, 21.50.

4 Crystal Palace Jamaica Street. £1.55.

5 Hengler’s Circus Sauchiehall Street. £1 .55.

and old wifies ask if you want to buy foreign tags for £2. Tremendous. I realise it would be dangerous to take photos as the junkies will think we're tourists and the stall-holders will think we're benefit fraud investigators. We head up to King's Court on King Street and have a gander at the retro attire in Mr Ben's.

Bank balance: still $218.05

12.05pm Have a look at the free exhibition in the Transmission Gallery by German artists. the Olwechsel.

Bank balance: still £18.05

12.25pm Tired legs

A typical man

demand tea. Have a pot in the 13th Note cafe for £1.10.

Bank balance: £16.95

1.15pm Trawl through some shops on Argyle Street. An old wifie nearly knocks me over in her haste to buy some honking paisley patterned pyjamas in T.J. Hughes. Consider buying a pair of white slouchy sports socks from the $31 shop to fit in with the natives. Realise I don't have the funds to buy a white tracksuit. Hmm . . .

Bank balance: still £15.95

2pm Italian Centre for lunch. Cafe Norte and


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(Milt-RY (if MOIHiRN ARI

1 Littlewood’s Sauchiehall Street, five- item breakfast, £1.55.

2 The Griffin Bath Street, pie. beans, chips and a drink. £2.80.

3 The Grosvenor Cafe Ashton Lane. burger and Coke, £2.95.

4 The Arches Argyle Street. two meals for £6.

5 Wee Curry Shop Buccleuch Street, three- course lunch. £4.25.

Frango would whore my budget. Opt for a £1 bag of chips from Santini's Kitchen. Eat them while glaring into the window of Versace. Classy.

Bank balance: £15.95

2.30m“ Go to the Lighthouse. Scotland's centre for architecture and design, on Mitchell Lane.

Why have I never been there

before? The place is amazing. A donation of $31 for entry to the temporary exhibitions or free if you're a student. unwaged or an

OAP. There's also the

Mackintosh Interpretation

Centre. which is 22.50/22

and includes entry to the

m names


Rennie Mackintosh

ty- ditwu‘.»

temporary exhibitions too. I have a student card. so I dodge the Mackintosh stuff. It's a bit passe since they started using his designs to make cheap silver jewellery. Bank balance: still 815.95

3109!“ Not wanting to go outwith my 25 daytime budget. desperate forms of entertainment are called for. Listen to some vocally challenged busker who got Oasis By Numbers for Christmas. Try on dodgy high heels ‘for a laugh' in Deichmann Shoes. Play ‘dodge the Hari Krishna'. Bank balance: still $315.95

4pm Go to the Art School for Mark Gilbert's Saving