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Faces exhibition. which is . . . oh. would you believe it. free. Another triumph on my quest for cheapo culture. All this art is making me hungry.

Bank balance: still £15.95

4.47pm The Arches has a ‘two meals for 526' offer. Luckily I have a partner in crime today so we can go halfers. I indulge in some very tasty. cheesetastic chilli nachos and wash it down with a can of lrn Bru. Costing a grand total of £4.20. Could have got ‘two for 25' at a bring-your-own- atmosphere pub. but hey. I’m feeling extravagant. Bank balance: £11.75

6pm Jump a 57 bus to Tramway for one of its regular free talks: this time by Glasgow-based artist Christine Borland. Have two glasses of free wine: bonus! Considering my knowledge of art stretches to sixth year studies. I surprise myself by really enjoying the event.

Bank balance: still 81 1.75


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vodka / gin + mix





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8.15M“ Catch a random bus into town to Sauchiehall Street. First stop: Nice 'n‘ Sleazy for happy hour. $31.25 for a long vodka . . . mmm. It's hoaching with 'musicians' and students. and we only manage to get a seat by the door. so we down our drinks and find another pub in an attempt to avoid hypothermia. Can't believe how earty it still is and how much I've done today. I'm the bionic woman.

Bank balance: £10.50

8.50pm New bar Firebird on Sauchiehall Street has an array of drinks promos that lure us in. Playing Now That's What / Call The Best Of /nd/'e Hits Of All Time Ever results in the place being jam packed with students and upwardly mobile young 'uns. It may be cheap. but it's not nasty. I go halfers on a two-pint cocktail pitcher which is down from £10 to 26. going

for the most potent. Montana Tornado: vodka. Jack Daniels. gin. tequila and lemonade. With a fly wee whisky and coke on the side at £1.30.

Bank balance: $5.20

9m Still getting wired into the cheap drinks. I've had a hard day. right. Get another pitcher in. Jamaican Iced Tea. Why do you never get Scottish themed cocktails? Whisky, Tennent's Super Lager. Crabbies Ginger Wine. lrn Bru . . . but there is a tvvo-for-one deal on selected shooters which would be criminal not to take advantage of. so I do. Bank balance: £2.20

10.45pm Having finally fallen into 'skinto zone'. the question is: to club or not to club? Arghh. Could go to the Garage where. in theory. I could afford three vodka and mixers at 70p a shot. as l have a Snapfax in my

Doing‘What comes’ nachOSJy

pocket that gets you in before midnight for nowt. Or could go to Trust The DJ at Mas for which I just got free passes and where a spirit and mixer is 21. Decisions. decisions.

Bank balance: still £2.20

11pm My last bus is 11pm and I can't afford a taxi. my limbs are aching the kids may be crazy. but I'm genuinely shattered. and. to paraphrase the Proclaimers: ‘l have walked 500 miles.‘ So with enough money left for chips 'n' cheese. it's home. jammies and bed. Bank balance: 20


Day time fun: £1.95 ($23.05 in credit) Evening fun: 20 ($5 in credit)

Food: £7.40

(€2.40 over budget) Drink: $310.65 ($3565 over budget) Balance: Exactly on budget

Mac ‘n' tosh

1 Tam Cowan’s Offside BBC, Queen Margaret Drive. every Mon. 7.30pm. free foot- ball piss-take (tickets required).

2 The Live Fioorshow The Stand. Woodlands Road. every Tue. 8.30pm, free comedy (tickets required).

3 The Fine Art At The Barrel! Burrell Collection. Pollokshaws Road. Mon 4 Feb. 1pm, free guided tour.

4 Robert Nigger Waterstone's. Sauchiehall Street. Thu 7 Feb. 7pm. free male rites of passage talk.

5 The Live Floorahow Workshops The Stand. Woodlands Road. every Tue. 8.30pm. free comedy rehearsals.

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Feb 200 s LIG‘