2002 and you could be in Barbados.


(Fox Interactive) £29.99 0...

It is rare to find three premium games on the post-Christmas shelves. never mind three in one box. but that is what Al/P2 offers these gamers with enough PC grunt to handle it.

The premise is simple. Place three races. human. alien and predator, in dank corridors and creepy caves. and let them battle it out in first- person. Each race has its own strengths and weaknesses that must he understood before success can he achieved. Humans are well armed but haSrc. alien“, are fast. hard to control and hate no long range attack. while the predatcr is slow invisible and deadly.

Each race has its own enjoyable solo story to follow. but it is in multiplayer that fill/Pg.) really com :s into its own. This has to be played to he l‘)r;ise\.red. stretching the player's skills to the limit and sucking every drop of sweat front, tnevr fur‘rr)‘.‘.er: brosr. [St-ratify

ce'nes ll‘. threes.


ROCK MANAGER (Mindscape) £29.99 .0

Sim City easy to can-riect truth. Encrycne Itat‘

tworn a! l:.r:id:ng (l€;"‘;l(_}.'i. road layout and

how rtron "urntrol. thinking 'l‘u’)” riorrlfi (it:

Smash it up in Rock Manager

designing the ultimate thrill-ride must have been dreamt about by every inner-child at least once. Sim Earth. Railroad Tycoon and The Sims also follow this pattern. allowing the meddler in all of us to run wild.

Rock Manager on the other hand seems way off the mark. Sure. the game is full of humour. the coIOurful graphics are pleasing on the eye and the chance to mix some twenty rock tunes in a studio is fun. But who has ever dreamt of rnanagrng a world- famous band rather than being in one? The chances of anyone persevering with Rock Manager long enough to gain any success are slimmer than Geri Halliwell. (Iain Davidson)

ALSO RELEASED Sim Golf (PC EA £724.99) From empty field to Muirfield.

NBA 2K2 (DC Sega £129.99) Go to the hoop. Phantasy Star Online Ver2 (DC Sega £729.99) Join the vrrtual community.

Caesar’s Palace (GBA THO £34.99) A caSrno in yoor palm.

Cossacks Art of War rPC CDV £24.99) A huge RTS.





This site is consistently good for the music fan. It webcasts various London gigs for up to two years. Zero 7 played Shepherd's Bush Empire at the end of last year and it's here for all to see. All bandwidths are catered for so don't fret if you don't have an ultra fast connection. A cheap connection would be nice as you could easily spend a few hours here.



Maybe you're not a particularly sporty person. but then maybe you just haven't found the sport for you. Unless you're tactically challenged this could be the one. Thanks again to the web get a yalual :le \.«'ic-‘.'rr_)o:nt into other trootfitfi't; strange behaxiour. 'Cheese racing‘ requires the last drunken ll‘.()ll‘.(}tliii of a barbegue and an armory of processed cheese slices. Throw 'em on the flames and gasp in amazement as the plastic wrappers don't burn. but swell up and burst. First to burst has won. Olympic sport soon.

SCOTTISH OPERA www.scottishopera. org.uk

Willi all the drama associated with opera. this r't:-\.'ita|rsed website bursts onto the scene in an attend/t 3:; g at; the |ucratwe you old audience Ins: age most likely to I)()()l\ ",1 It'

grenr‘ If' 21"“:Ill‘iSlltll‘fli’lIIlHIiilfl tarrrretl. At time of wr tax; it is neavrly

;3t.l/:12' r. in.) 1000 tickets an- l srmng them off for as little as There's no guarantee there Will be ar 'y left by the time you read this. but give it a shot. A valuable addition to the arts scene.

site it; it

LEAPING SALMON www.|eapingsalmon. com

This is a dramatic reevaluation of the trusty ready meal. Although admittedly of more use within the M25 area of London. it's still of use to the rest of us. The idea is when you fancy a stay— at-home meal without the fuss you email some Michelin star chefs in London who will then send the prepared ingredients in a cool bag. Everything is prepared for you. recipes supplied and are guaranteed not to take more than half an hour. Wine recommendations are also included. Meals are for two and everything is here to impress. All y0u've got to do is he abOut making it from scratch.

THE ARCHIVE OF EMAIL FORWARDS http://bl.net/fon~ards/ menu.html

Has yOur inbox been a bit dull lately? No choice emails to forward on to your n'iates’? There is a theory that such emails are an online form of social currency. and if you aren't seen to be sending them to all your friends. you'll soon bean e-pariah. But don't fear: Just go to th s site and drag out a classic old email and hang it out to everyone you know. Your social life will be saved.

KNEEL BEFORE GENERAL ZOD www.i-mockery.com/ generalzod

Well, if Superman hat trouble keeping him down we less 2r mortals don't stand much of a chance. This rs an open forum with Superman's arch—rival. You can ask hrrn arty question you like and he'll tell you to kneel before him regardless of the question. Watch out for his laser eyes: even though Superman was immortal they seemed to cause him some trouble. A remarkable insight into one of history's forgotten baddies. (Steve Blair)




Received wisdom dictates that remakes work best if the original film was terrible. If, on the other hand, the original was good, it’s unlikely a remake will be an improvement. The 1968 version of Planet Of The Apes remains a landmark in science fiction cinema; Tim Burton’s remake (which he rather pedantically insists on calling a ‘reimagining’) makes no mark at all.

Perhaps the biggest disappointment and there’s a lot wrong with the new Apes film is that it hardly seems like a Tim Burton film at all. Burton is one of the few genuine visionary talents working in Hollywood, a filmmaker that can rightly be called an auteur. But here his vision fails him. Perhaps the studio felt there was too much at stake on this particular blockbuster and blinded Burton with executive decisions.

But then William Broyles Jr’s screenplay is a mess. Although also based on Pierre Boulle’s novel, and in fact including more of the book’s ironic observation of the ape society than the original film, there’s no pacing and no suspense. And where the original screenplay, by Rod The Twilight Zone Serling, worked as both sci-fi thriller and political allegory (for Vietnam, for nuclear warfare), Broyles’ doesn’t have anything to say about anything.

Mark Wahlberg, who replaced Arnold Schwarzenegger as the spaceman who is marooned on the planet run by intelligent simians, doesn’t cut it as an action hero. Compared to the apes’ original antagonist, Charlton Heston, Wahlberg is merely a bit wet. Spot the nice cameo from Heston, though (who, you should bear in mind, is the chair of America’s National Rifle Association). But don’t expect an ending to compete with the original film’s stunner. (Miles Fielder)

I Avar/ah/e from Mon 18 Feb through 89172 Century Fox on VHS and DVD retail.

ROM/\NC CRAZY/ a rich brat with a dead BEAUTIFUL mom and a shit load of

(12) 95 mm ... psychological probien‘s.

which (:()ll‘.t} as fuck up baggage to her

hl< ssonwng ron‘ance With Carlos. Scenes of the loyers s ranning time together will have you hurling onto the floor. but that's balanced vxrth some social comment. Great performances from the leads. too. rBuena Vista VHS and DVD rental)

(Miles I ielderr

This sweet but cheesy

tr zen romance (trans on Romeo And Ju/ret for its story of lovers from the opposite side of the tracks. Carlos rJay Hernando/r is a poor kid from downtown I os Angeles. working 'irs ass off to get out of the barrio on a scholarship to a posh high school. Nicole (Kirsten Dunstr is