THE INSIDER Who’s getting up to what

I Jesus H. Christ. Insider hears that Martin Scorsese‘s The Last Temptation Of Christ is still banned from being screened in Chile. Fourteen years after the film scandalised the Christian world With its images of Jesus schtupping Mary Magdalene. the ban. introduced as part of dictator Augusto Pinochet‘s wideSpread cinema censorship. remains in place. Lawyers who see the film as emblematic in the fight for freedom of expression are currently lobbying the lnteramerican Court in Costa Rica to investigate the Chilean government for failing to COmply with the COurt's 1997 ruling to lift the ban.

I On. for Chrissakes. There's an advert running on Beat 106 in which a woman is heard making passionate small talk to her man: ‘Take me. take me . . . etc. etc.‘ All heavy breathing. blah. blah. But it turns out she doesn't want to schtup or be schtuppped. She wants her man to take her to the St James Centre. a place. we are then told. that is better than sex. OK, let's examine that statement: Would Insider: a) prefer to be on a secluded beach making love in the sun and perhaps with a bottle of champagne to hand. chilling in the sea: or b) fight through the screaming throngs of unhappy shoppers fresh out of the wrnd. sleet and rain? Ah. let me see . . .

I Christ on a bike. Here's another daft retail story. In its run-up to clOSure. James Thin on South Bridge is failing to keep staff engaged with their work. So bored are those that previously toiled tirelessly. they have taken sitting in the window as part of the book displays; book. glass of wine. slippers. that kind of thing. Perhaps this isn't so daft. perhaps this is the way forward for retail sales. One of the bookseller's customers, none other than Edinburgh crime writer Ian Rankin. offered to take his turn with the slippers and wine.

I Christ on a stick. We're approaching Oscar time again (Sunday 24 March to be exact). which means

anyone watching the show is likely to be subjected to lengthy. teanulspeeches from the winners. Remember how Gwyneth cried and cried? Recall Warren Beatty's rant about everything including his mother‘s kitchen sink? You can be sure when Robert Redford gets up on stage to collect his honorary Oscar this year (it's already been awarded to him), he'll be wearing his liberal credentials on his arm and say more than a few words about the environment: eagles are so nice. blah. blah. Oh. shut it. Fella called Howard Bragman feels the same way. So much so that Bragman. who's a public relations exec. wrote an open letter to the Los Ange/es Time imploring award winners to keep their speeches short. ‘Thank one or two peOple who really made a difference in yOur life.‘ he suggests. Fat chance. however. of those Tinseltown fat cats (see picture) taking any notice of Bragman come 24 March.

Fat cat

I For the love 0' Christ. Speaking of fat cats. the cast of Friends have negotiated themselves a cool fee of $25,000 per minute for the new series. That is just ridiculous. The show stopped being hip and flip back when they were inventing the wheel. right? (Wheelwright?) And as for Jennifer Aniston and her cast mates: you ain't funny. No. Not funny.

I Ah. beiesus. The night before

their recent Glasgow gig. some members of the scary

Slipknot went to see the less

than terrifying Jill Scott. ‘Well. some of them are. you know. older.‘ guoth lovely PR girl. Certainly. at their Virgin signing session. they looked really cute sipping fanta through pink straws.

I No Jesus joke here. Sorry. being nailed to a piece of wood ain't no laughing matter. So: The royal family

may have started dropping like flies but

that hasn‘t stopped chemists of the class A variety paying tribute. Or is that taking the piss? in celebration of the silver anniversary of the many clubbers' drug of choice. you can purchase from recommended dealers everywhere ‘Jubil’Es’ (see picture). It's a beautiful thing.

The Front

1 Early Spring

Film The Edinburgh international Film Festival spreads its wings into a week- long feast of innovative movies. See news, page 4. GFT; Glasgow; Filmhouse, Edinburgh.

2 New Plaza

Art Skateboard obstacles by Toby Paterson investigate issues surrounding the urban environment. See preview, page 82. Arches, Glasgow.

3 The Shipping News

Film Kevin Spacey and Julianne Moore star in Lasse Hallstr‘o‘m’s surprisingly excellent adaptation of the Annie Proulx novel. See review, page 23. General release.


TV An innovative 24-part series which takes an unravelling American political crisis one hour at a time. See review, page 104. BBC2.

5 The Son’s Room

Film Nanni Moretti, dubbed the Italian Woody Allen, moves into a different gear with an engaging bereavement drama. See preview and review, pages 22 and 24. GFT, Glasgow; Filmhouse, Edinburgh.

6 New Flesh

Music/Clubs Reggae, soca and drum & bass all get thrown in the mix by this masterful fusion act. Beat Jazz Basement, Edinburgh.

7 ldlewild

Music Former indie punk kids return to remind us why they are one of Scotland's finest live acts. Glasgow School of Art.

8 A Streetcar

Named Desire

Theatre ‘Stella! '@'@!’ etc. See review, page 58. Lyceum, Edinburgh.

9 Travis

Music Hot on the heels of their Brit Award success, the Glasgow boys entertain the troops with four sold-out shows. See feature, page 16. SECC, Glasgow.

1 0 XBox

Games Bill Gates successfully joins the lucrative battle to create the perfect games console. See review. page 95. Microsoft.

298 Feb- 1-2 Niiil 2002 THE LIST 9