seems to have a story like that. Turns out he works next to the guy who covered lan (‘uttis’ inquest. And his girlfriend once issued Alan lirasmus. one of the business partners. with a writ. Of course. they could be lying.

lirank (‘otterell-Boyce is. He wrote 24 Hour Party People. and is from Liverpool. A Scouser. Wilson. like most .\lancs. has a funny idea about Scousers. ()n the telly he always referred to Liverpool as the ‘l’ool. and sneered the sneer like it was something he‘d just trodden in. Which he probably had. because without Liverpool. liactory and the Hacienda would never have been built. And if Wilson and Roger liagle. who ran legendary ‘l’ool punk club liric‘s. hadn‘t disagreed over what forntat a proposed joint venture should take. something entirely different would’ve happened instead. and we mightn’t be here today.

Stone Roses tribute band have just been filmed playing ‘Sally Cinnamon.~ bttt it didn‘t make the final cut so doesn‘t count. liarlier. they filmed (‘oogan as Wilson doing a piece to camera. .\’lanchester‘s second biggest wanker playing

Clockwise from bottom left: the movie Joy Division; the movie

Factory boardroom; the

real Happy Mondays; the movie Hacienda; Sean Harris as Ian Curtis; and the real Madonna in the real Hacienda

Harris first saw Curtis on telly when he was

the first. according to someone. He's got the walk. the

voice. everything's spot-on. but a little bit Alan Partridge with it. In the end this isn't used either. The Mondays are up next. a raggedy. half—arsed mess that falls apart halfway through. Which is weird. becattse in the far corner. the corner where he always sat. is the real Shaun Ryder. who didn’t die like Ian Curtis. but is a legend ofthe almost living kind instead.

The llycr said to dress like it's 86 or 8‘). but in the end it doesn't matter. becattse nostalgia’s not what it‘s about. apparently. Just listen to Wilson at the press conference. not just the Man On The Telly but also the man with the best— known mobile phone number in Manchester. apparently. There he is. being wound up by some local hack with fake credentials who knows the score. banging on with his thirteen- year theory about pop music. and how we‘re due something that will blow us all away any day now. Still waiting. Tone. Despite the film.

Which. in its finished form. is full of post—modern

like he’s been haunted by him ever since


He’s been a Russian murderer, a Welsh raver and all manner of moody Mancs. Now JOHN SIMM is ecstatic to be playing a real person at last.

Words: Brian Donaldson

ohn Simm looks like a pop star. Not of the

Pop Idol variety or the nu metal vanguard. but

it‘s not hard to picture him as a sneering indie hero. Odd then that he is most widely remembered as Cardiff clubber dip, the Bill Hicks-worshipping E— head in Human Traffic who partied for more than one day at a time. But not for much longer: tonight Matthew, John Simm is Bernard Sumner.

Where he has the advantage over many of his co- stars in 24 Hour Party People is that he has been there and done a bit of it already. He currently guitars in a band of mates. under the moniker Magic Alex (a Beatles' drug reference) with a debut album awaiting release. It may be called Hammer Time or. more likely, Wolf Jazz. ‘We saw a documentary the other day about wolves singing and the voiccover was like: "They’re actually singing wolf jazz". It was almost The Fast Show.’

With his acting career showing no signs of plummeting down the charts (he's put behind him the tag of ‘the biggest British film star you've never heard of'). perhaps it may be time to recognise that he's outgrown playing in the garage and accept that he's a draw in the drive-ins? were fine as we are. the laziest band in the world, we‘re not particularly arsed about storming the charts. We do it cos we like it.‘

Perhaps not the attitude that will make them the next Strokes. but at least he has a few pop star affiliations to dine out on for a while: Ian McCulloch has slept on his sofa. Emma Bunton has kipped in his bed. Still, he was unable to attend an early screening of Michael Winterbottom's movie due to his anxiety at having played a real person for the first time. ‘l was going to see it with New Order. but I thought that would be a bad idea; me sat looking at the back of his [Sumner‘s] head with me being him on screen. No thanks.‘

.‘ THE LIST 19