FACTO RYF LAWS
Some ‘great’ Factory signings you may not have heard of
Spent entire career supporting Joy Division and New Order. From Blackpool. The bit where the sun never shone.
The Swamp Children/Kalima 1,. }. To a Certain Ratio what Section 25 were ’9 , "' § to Joy Division. Jazz-funk stuff. Like Level . [v “v 42 with decent haircuts and the complete “ ‘ Penguin Modern Classics. ' A
The Wake “7..., Token Scottish connection featuring ex— ‘s..'..n.31.l. A Altered Image Ceasar and ankle-biting
Bobby Gillespie, who went on to another disastrous maverick label, Creation. but not before defecting to Fae-inspired Sarah Records.
Northside Arse-end of baggy. Rubbish.
Edinburgh Fringe favourite. Alternative comedian before alternative comedy. Released 3 single, ‘lt’s Hard To Be An Egg.‘ White vinyl. Yellow label. Genius.
Token Scottish connection. From Edinburgh. Currently residing in Bendy Toy.
Prototype crusties making a racket that fell somewhere between death Metal and Newcastle.
Possibly the worst named band in the world. Sounded like Joy Division. Reformed last year. New album imminent.
They didn’t just do records, you know. Those crazy catalogue numbers in full
PAC 8: Menstrual egg-timer Ingenious device patented by Linder Sterling. voice of rad-fem avanl- jazzers Ludus.
FAC 61: Hannett lawsuit The legendary producer settles out of court for Joy Division/New Order royalties.
FAC 98: Swing A hairdresser‘s under the Hacienda.
FAC 99: Rob Gretton’s molar reconstruction Dentist bill paid for by Factory after Joy Division manager beaten up by A Certain Ratio.
FAC 126: Alan Erasmus goes to Moscow Factory’s first move into classical music aborted after label’s contact kicked out of country on suspicion of being KGB spy.
FAC 152: From Manchester With Love T-Shirt To coincide with New Order benefit gig for Labour councillors turfed out of the party by class traitor Kinnock. Bless.
FAC 202: Charity Balloons BA event in Hyde Park.
FAC 215/216: Factory wine 200 bottles each of red and white plonk. Label done by Peter Saville.
FAC 282: Flowers for Horse’s Wedding Gift for Happy Mondays guitarist.
FAC 331: Temporary contemporary table That table.
20 THE LIST. " :'
disclaimers and Brechtian. Shakespearian. straight-to-camera asides. Extra- diegesis. if you will. ('heeky little cameos from the people who lived it lirst time round pop up all over the show. Look. there's Howard Devoto. who. when he was still Howard Tral'l'ord — just — ptit the Sex Pistols on in Manchester twice.Then. when he finally l'ully became Howard Devoto. formed the Buzzcocks and Magazine. who Wilson put on alter the teatime news three nights on the trot.
And look. there's the l‘all's Mark [5. Smith. a ghost of his former self playing his former self and looking timelessly the same. The gang's all here then. And there. liven I'm in there somewhere. if you look really. really hard.
To be honest. it we must. 24 Hour Party People probably isn't the best lilm in the world ever. but. as one-line jokes and situationist pranks go. for those of a certain age and disposition that swings between obsessive hedonism and hedonistic obsession. frankly it pisses all over High Fidelity:
ater. alter 86 and is") or whenever. are in the can. even though only about 3()
seconds til it will end tip getting used. the lad from The Mane/tester Evening
News drives us around to Whitwoith Street. where the preservation-ordered l'acade is all that's left of what used to be the real life Hacienda. A pilgrimage. A wailing wall. Perversely. it turns out that once 24 Hour Parry People's done with. the other Hacienda. over in Ancoats. is going to be demolished as well. They're going to btiild llats there. apparently. Luxury apartments. And so it goes.
That night. in the faded grandeur of a Manchester hotel room. on the telly (it all places. I could swear it's the Hacienda. Which of course it is. in The Aleohol Years. a documentary by ('arol Morley. that interviews everyone she ever used to know. l'riends. exes. one-night stands. or even just people she spoke to when she was a Manchester character and Hacienda lixture. There's Dave llaslem. some-time llac l)l. who's already immortalised 24 Hour Pro-iv People in a book all his own. And there's Wilson. remarkany not saying much for once.
There's others too. l.i/ Naylor. who edited ('iiy l'im. possibly but not delinitely the best magazine ever. which accused l‘actoiy ol' all sorts of things they couldn't
mention for legal reasons. And there's Dick
I’m Wilts. who used to be in a band called the
Passage. and wrote a song called 'A Certain
a Way To (io.' that slagged Factory oil for
seeming to have more style than substance.
Alter Wilson lel't ll'hul's ()n. Dick Wilts
WIth a became co-presenter with a mad Scouse
songstress called Margox. who. as actress Margi
('larke. makes a split—second cameo in 24 Hour
a Party People. Dick Wilts is Richard Witts now.
He writes books about the arts council and Nico.
a singer who went l'rom one dead-end litctory town to another. and looks beetroot-laced embarrassed it. you tell him you've got all his records. Real or imagined. Dick Witts isn't in 24 Hour Party People.
A whole year on. and The Man On The Telly's at it again. lapping it tip on the bookshop chat-show promo circuit. In Glasgow a New Order tape plays while we wait l'or Wilson. ()n the wall. behind a too-much-pine lectern is a huge publicity poster for 24 Hour Party People. the movie. It's a head-and-shoulders shot of ('oogan as Wilson. but still looking like Partridge. Another holy trinity. Across the bottom. in tabloid-size letters is one word. a legend. "l'WA'l'f Don't think they're overly concerned about the Hollywood market. somehow. It's a brilliant litctory moment anyway. a brilliant Wilson moment.
A brilliant moment like the time John Lydon. who used to be Johnny Rotten. who in another ﬁle Wilson ﬁrst put on the telly. refused to do a live weblink from New