liyaristi's tnagical multi-laycrcd play of loyc. fantasy and thc human soul.

East Kilbride

EAST KILBRIDE ARTS CENTRE ()ld (‘oach Road. 0135.5 261000. [1’. 11. W(‘. WA]

Singles Night Sat 1 1 May. 8pm. £7 (£5 ). look()l "1‘ 'l‘hcatrc (‘ompany cxplorc dill‘crcnt attitudcs to hcing single. through four short plays by contcmporary \yritcrs. Nelve Angry Men 'I‘hu lo & l’ri I7 May. 8pm. £6 (£4). Scc (‘umhcrnauld Shirley Valentine Thu 23 & Fri 24 May. 8pm. £6 (£4) li‘om 07974 252307. 1.anarkshirc thcatrc company. Practical Magic prcscnts Willy Russcll's popular talc of a bored houscyyilc \yho dccidCs to changc hcr lil'c.



Wcst Bridgc Strcct. 01324 506850. ll’. W('. WA]

Cinderella ch l5 May. 7.30pm. £12.50 (£7.50 £1l.50).'l‘hcliuropcan Ballct pcrl‘orm thc popular lairytalc classic. sct to Prokoticy's lamous scorc.

Speed The Plow ch 22 May. 7.30pm. £5 (£3). Rapturc 'l'hcatrc prcscnts l)ayid Mamct's comic look at [no \yritcrs trying to cook up thc pcrlcct llollyyyood scrccnplay.

Jaleo Thu 23 May. 8pm. £1 1 (£10). The passion and spcctaclc o1 llamcnco dancc is brought to thc stagc hy southcrn Spain's award-winning troupc. Jalco.



Rothcs Squarc. 01592 61 1 1(11. ll’. 11.W(‘. WA]

Sing-A-Long-A-Sound Of Music Fri 17 May. 7.30pm. £10.50 (£9.50). (irah your lcdcrhoscn and your singing yoicc and prcparc to sing your littlc heart out to all lhc lilm‘s classic hits.


GREENOCK ARTS GUILD (‘amphcll Strcct. 01475 723038. [R ll. WA]

Cinderella Hi 17 May. 7.30pm. £13.50 (£8.50 £12). Scc l‘alkirk.



1.o\\‘ct’ Auchingramont Road. (11698 452299. ll’. W(’. WA]

Copacabana 'l'uc 14 Sat 18 May. 7.30pm. llainilton ()pcratic and Dramatic ('luh prcscnts Barry Maniloyy ‘s nightclub musical.

Shirley Valentine Mon 20 & Tue 21 May. 7.30pm. £6 (£4) lrom 07974 252307. Scc liast Kilhridc.



1 14 1 l6 llarhour Strcct. (11294 274059. Ill. W(‘. WA]

Jessie Kesson - A Good Crack At Life Sat 11 May. 7.45» 10pm. £6.50 (£4). Attic 'l‘hcatrc's humorous and poignant

look at lhc lilc of" Scottish author Jcssic Kc‘sson.



9 (irccn Strcct. 01563 523590.

Did You Used To Be R.D. Laing? Fri 10 May. 7.30pm. £7.50 (£5]. :\ look at thc lil'c and work o1 thc controycrsial Scottish rcth and philosophcr. Sing-A-Long-A-Sound Of Music Sat 18 May. 7.30pm. £10.50 (£9.50). Scc (ilcnrothcs.



Bcnnochy Road. 01592 412929. 11’. ll. \\'('. \VA]

Cupar Amateur Opera Company [iii 10 May. 7.30pm. £7 (£5.50). Songs l'rom thc shoyys.

Notes From A Small Island Sat 1 I May. 7.30pm. £8.50 (£7.50). Bill

llry solt\ comic look at 111C lil‘iliSh is adapch for thc stagc.

The Lifeboat Thu 16 May. Scc Kids lisliltgs.

Cinderella Sat 18 May. 3pm 8 7.30pm. £15 (£12 £14). Scc l'alkirk.



185 High Strcct. 01738 621031. [11.1"]. yy(‘. yy.-\|

Perfect Days l'nnl Sat 11 May. 7.30pm (Sat mat 2.30pm). £12 (£8). 1.i/ l.ochhcad's critically acclaimcd play about a cclchrity hairdrcsscr \yhosc biological clock starts ticking yyhcn shc hits 3‘).

St Andrews


Ahhcy Strcct. 01334 475000. |1’.W('. WA]

Fit Like l'ntil Sat 11 May. Thu Fri 8pm: Sat 6pm ck 8.30pm. £7 (£5 ). 1)a\‘id Joy's Sc‘ots contcdy.

Singles Night 'l'hu 9 & Fri 10 May. 8.15pm. £8 (£6). Scc liast Killu'idc. Perfect Days 'l‘uc 14 Sat 18 May. 8pm. £12 (£7.50). Scc l’crth. Confusions ch 15 Sat 18 May. 8.15pm. £5. St Andrcyys l’Iay cluh lll'cscnts thrcc short slorics from Alan Ay ckhourn.

Wee Witches Sat 18 May. Scc Kltls listings.

The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe ch 22 Hi 24 May.

ch 'l'hu 7.30pm; l‘ri 7pm. £5 (£3). ('.S. [ms is’ charming talc o1. magical happcnings in Narnia.



l)umharton Road. 01786 467155. 11’. 11. W(‘. WA]

Stick Granny On The Roof-rack Thu 9 May. 7.45pm. £6 (£3) from 01786 467155. .\'c\y comcdy lront 'l‘hc Mslits in which lamin tcnsions rcach boiling point during a oncc-in-a-lil‘ctimc holiday.

CABARET LIVE FLOOR SHOW The Arches, Glasgow, Thu 16-Sat 18 May

Craig Hill goes live with Live

‘1 mean I’m hardly Cate Blanchett,’ says Craig Hill on his new-found celebrity. When the former East Kilbride hairdresser was in London recently, he was mobbed by a group of Edinburgh schoolchildren at Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (oh the innuendo of it all). Despite their tender years, the kids were big fans of BBC Scotland’s comedy venture Live Floor Show. ‘I was thinking: “Oh my God, there was loads of inappropriate stuff in that programme that you should not have been listening to.” But I sat on the stairs and had my photo taken with them. They were lovely.’

It’s easy to see why Craig appeals to a younger audience. With his playful insinuations and digs at pop culture, he is the epitome of camp cattiness. His melodious voice extols grace and serenity, until, from under that happy-smiley veneer, the snide Craig peeps every so often, like a frisky pup that bites. As such, Hill’s cattiness was not lost on the libel-conscious BBC. Now almost as famous for his Atomic Kitten routine as he is for his sexual persuasion, his ridicule of the procreant threesome never did make it past the censors. Toning down his language was yet another stumbling block. ‘I would never think of me as someone who swears and then I suddenly go: “Oh my God, I do call him that, don’t I? I do use that swear word.” It’s very hard to replace fucker with plonker.’

Which is where the ‘live’ Live Floor Show comes into its own. Inspired by the blossoming Scottish comedy scene, Live Floor Show harnessed a cross-section of good stand-up in Scotland, presented it in a glitzy, studio, hired a famous name to front it, and hey presto, easy Friday night viewing. Now, the project has come full circle, and the show’s regular team of Reverend Obadiah Steppenwolfe, Bob Doolally, Frankie Boyle, Miles Jupp and Hill are going back to the floor. Greg Hemphill will be replaced by a different compere each night Des Clarke, Des McLean and Bruce Morton have been confirmed - and there will be special guests, a 2am licence and sounds from the Southside Soul Assassins. Talk about value for money.

The open format of the live show proper means anything goes. Who knows, there could even be a repeat of Hill’s camp preacher character eulogising the Reverend to the tune of Destiny’s Child’s ‘Bootylicious’, which, yet again, didn’t make it onto the show. Chinese whispers making the rounds suggest a second television series and a live date at the Edinburgh Fringe are in the pipeline, but at the moment, the prospect of performing without the strict television censure over content and time is what Craig Hill is relishing most. ‘The hardest thing about that programme was only doing four minutes,’ he says. ‘The live shows are a much better opportunity to introduce yourself to the audience and have a laugh with them. I’m sure it's likely to have more balls.’ (Maureen Ellis)


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