Sigiiilino MORTON

East Kilbride Arts Centre, Sat 18 May

(Ion‘edy is the most geographically chaaertoed form of entertainment. but (‘ieordre comrc Richard Morton is well placed to observe Il‘rt’}\./(1r!t’itlt)l182 he now lives in the leafy London suburb of Krngston on—Thames, It hasn't harmed his career. Morton's runs on the l‘drnbur'gh l-‘rrnge usually sell out. while he digs constantly and has rots of radio and W appearances under his belt

llrs g/lttS are most notable for their songs. ‘.'.'lll(;f‘ display a marked ear for a tune. that shouldn't be too scrpvisrntg: for many years Morton taunted to teach the world to sing in l7'..."«\ "ock disharmony. ‘l was in loads c" t ands.’ he says. 'We'd do a ‘er. digs and tner‘. split til). l’hey \.'~.r'ere a‘ absotd-eh. dreazifu'. lhen in about W855 "‘e ar‘n Reg Metrr'oss started tip this band [The Panic Brothers]: Just two blokes gr...tar's singing social realism songs. We started cracking Jokes between the senate :th In.) comeuy thing Just happened from that.‘

But lylcrfon .5; no frustrated artist: he's a warm rnteryrewee whose enthusiasm for the > s ()"J‘y an anecdote away. 'lt's a or! pathetic. but I've got a map of the UK . and l'ye underlined everywhere We played. and l'rn looking at last Kr'br'de and I‘m really looking tory.'ard to playing rt.’ rJames Smartr

Never far from a bizarre anecdote

rc!‘.t of' T‘.‘(} new

STAND-til) MANDY KNIGHT The Stand, Glasgow, Fri 10 & Sat 11 May

Son‘e men cant cope with women in comedy. Mandy Knight has one thing in common with them: she's not that keen on being onstage as some raked woman directs abuse at her. "When a woman heckles it's a bit embarrassmg; you can't hit back as hard.’ she says. Still. her worst £.itl(’ll(}l1(2(3 reaction has been from .".-i;:'."(}l' gender. ‘One of the most tragic heckles I had was when a dog want‘lered a and pissed or: the stage'

()nt: of Knight's male colleagues is Daniel Krtson. who adrnrres the funny girl whose comedy (3V includes being warm-up act for Puppetry Of The Perils. This £1(l"‘:t't"t'.;()ll though. rs perfectly mutual. ‘He is probably my favourite current act. I '.'.‘as '.'.t)rk:nt; with him tor a weekend at the Comedy Store and I watched hrrn ever, szndae night and every night I laughed: to me that's the test of a great “some. that when you watch them you feel like a punter. But whatever he says.

l‘ .'-:;- told hrrr‘. that I'll still not go out wrth him."

Not that Knight is the kind of girl Daniel would want to take home to mother.

l tel t)t(:‘.'=<)tti3 rr‘aterrai has included skits on haying sex with young boys and

‘r;:.;;' stuff about the Queen Mum. Just how crude is she? 'I don't consider ':“.:;-f.-=f' as being filthy but I'm interpreted as suchYes rt might be a bit rrsdue but t . iriat's because I grew up with the Carry On films' (Brian Donaldsoni

E r<i Ni) lt)‘.'.’(;/\Sl


The Stand, Glasgow, Sat 27 Apr 0...

l"-t,- s'.:t.-t‘.t;tl‘. of stand-up should be its r: ‘.'-’.~rsrt,. tonight's illlt) up at the c tand .'.';t:, a '."ll)li7.(: to comedy's rich Tapestry as thrt-e aots kept a capacity a .'::-::ri_';e teetering on the brink of :i,stet'.a. even betore Dave Spikey tot l":;1.'Prife/‘Ka‘.’ lot/rt; tamer appeared. :'~.‘rar't:" i :rrby shares his name with ';t:'idl\,' and irritating toys every scrir: .'.'ar‘.‘.ed a coupie of Christmases )(t’r. l tr.- fixed up to one of those arty/731.4). Nf,.’i(,(: .llilia Novak drew a: r; for much of her . ‘/‘«. ! an? amine restaurant ’ll;‘;:".€:fl recentr, in l ertli. They sell “41.? ores and haut br‘rdres.',-. lhen ex— ‘,(;l*’;<;i teacher Natalie llaynes took the stage like a drrursh on crystal rneth. With commanding presence and rnaterral to hatch. she covered everything from rape to teacher pupil sex l‘lt was one of the few perks of the toll and noy‘r they‘ve made it illegal'r. l‘hrs refreshineg edgy oorr erlr; n rs one to unratch. l ookrng remarkably like l:mrnen1's dad. [)ave Sprkey's been r'l the brisrrress for years. And rt shows. Timed to perfection. hrs delivery .‘rat. spot on. Maybe the rnaterral was aging and hrs attempts to make an impact on a young fl!r(l|t:ll(;t‘: forced. but the talent shines through. A l._es Dawson for the l’egm generation. slack Dickson;

The real slim Spikey

72 THE LIST '9 x .‘.l:. .”



Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurs. l'(}(‘ Building. chtrcyy Strcct. 0870 787 0707. 7.30pm. £6. Ncyycastlc's‘ cncrgctic japcstcr l)ayc Johns. \yi/cncd cynic Matt King. hoistcrous Aussic Marty Wilson and satirist Stcyc (irihhcn.

The Stand ’rht- Stand. 333 wtmtttunts Road. 08706006055. 8.30pm. £5 (£3). Jack Rttsscll is top dog, with John Ross and Stu & Paul crowding out thc kcnncl. lirankic Boylc compcrcs.


Reg Anderson’s Comedy Cellar Hit Mac('oo|‘s. l6l l.othian Road. 622 710‘). 0pm. £2. (‘ompcrc Joc llccnan. \yho madc it to thc final of thc llt'tikt'xt Link's comcdian spccial. introduces Martin liurhy. .\'igcl Buckland. David Wilkic and (‘olin Simpson.

The Stand 'l'hc Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£3). Raying loony Allan Millcr tops thc hill with atnplc support from Blair Watt. ch Lyons and Woody. Brucc I)cylin is compcrc. Snatch Club 'l‘hc Liquid Room. 9c Victoria Strcct. 225 2564. 10pm . 3am. £3.50 (£2.50). Rcsidcnt compct‘c and DJ llarry Ainsyyorth hosts this \ycckly carry- on mccts lli-l)c-lli dchauchcd caharct.


Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurs. l'(i(‘ Building. chl’rcyy Strcct. 0870 787 0707. 7.30pm. £l2. Scc Thu 9.

The Stand 'l‘hc Stand. 33.3 \Voodlands Road. 08706006055. 9pm. £6 (£5). Smut and innucndo from Mandy Knight. \yilh somc spiritual hcaling t'rom thc Rcycrcnd ()hadiah Stcppcnyyollc lll. pltis Brucc I)cylin and Woody. Janc Mackay takcs cotnpcring honours. Scc prcyicyy.


The Stand 'l'hc Stand. 5 Yot'k l’lacc. 558 7272. 0pm. £6 (£5). Brttcc Morton conlirms his status as thc t'cigning king of Scottish contcdy. His loyal stthjccts arc snappy Jack Russcll. thc l'krainc's .\'o 2 comcdian Bcnc I.inchcsticoy and compcrc Susan Morrison.


Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcut's. l‘(}(' Building. chl't‘cyy Strcct, 0870 787 0707. 7.30pm. £12. Scc Thu 9.

Madcap Comedy Club Statc Bar. 148 Holland Strch 883 2334. 9.30pm. £5 (£4l. l)cadpan Irishman Michacl Rcdmond. story'tcllcr Jatnic McKcn/ic and Bcc l)cc join host Billy Bonkct's. Independent Comedy @ The Brunswick 'l'hc Brunswick llotcl. I06 8 Brunswick Strch 556 5626. 9pm. £5. l’attcr mcrchants Vladimir Mc'l'ay ish. Roland (icnt and Billy Watson.

The Stand 'I’hc Stand. 33.3 \Yoodlattds Road. 0870 600 605.5. 9pm. £7 (£4). Scc Hi H). but compcrc is Susan Morrison. Madcap Comedy Club Stalc Bar. I48 Holland Strcct. 883 2334. 9.30pm. £51L‘4). Billy Bonkcrs and chums.


The Stand 'l'hc Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. 9pm. £7 (£4). Scc l-‘ri It) only w ith compcrc Janc Mackay.


Phil Kay 'l‘olhooth 'l‘hcatrc. Jail Wy nd. 01786274000.7.30pm. £l(l(£(i.50). \cnturc into thc surrcal \yorld ol' I.i.\! columnist l’hil Kay tor a night ol~ ccccntric cndcayout's.


Craic @ The Sac ('ul dc Sac Southsidc/Attic. 1 I79 l’olloksltttyys Road. 64‘) 1819/64‘) 47 l 7. 8pm. £4. ('clch mimic Kcara Murphy. onc third ot'lrinity ()t' Mirth Darrcn llcnyyood and John (iillick. Alan Andcrson compcrcs and thc Southsidc Soul Assassins man tltc dccks.

Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service Thc Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 08706006055. 8.30pm. £4 (£2). 'l'hc laconic [rish onc’s disciplcs this cyctting includc Jack Russcll. thc l'krainc's .\'o 2 comcdian Bcnc Linchcsticm and thrcc \‘clyct Virgins.


Whose Lunch Is It Anyway? the Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. lpm. lircc. l’rccsty'lc l'unnincss and hangoycr-hanishing antics l'rom rcsidcnt duo l’aul (iraham and Stuart Murphy.

Six On Sunday 'l‘hc Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £3 t£2). l)undcc cscapcc Brucc I)cylin introduccs the all- poyycrlttl Rcycrcnd ()hadiah Stcppcnnollc Ill. ch Lyons. Woody and two gttcsts. Reg Anderson’s Big Fun Quiz Night 'l‘hc Mcadoyys Bar. Moo Bar. 42 44 Bucclcuch Strcct. 667 6907. 9pm. l’rcc. An ol‘thcat comcdy dial with karaokc. intcractiyc audicncc gamcs and a spot of stand-up l'rom thc man hintsclt‘.


Roy Chubby Brown (‘lytlc .-\uditoriuin. liinnicston Quay. 0870 040 4000. £l6. 'l'hc northern comcdian turns thc air hluc in his inimitahlc stylc.


Red Raw 'I‘hc Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. 8.30pm. L'l. llost Martin l"urhy and hcadlincr Day id Kay slttm arottnd cight stand-up ncyycomcrs htm it‘s donc.

Reg Anderson’s Big Fun Quiz Night I’in Mac('ool's. l6l l.othian Road. 622 7l0‘). 9pm. £1 to play. Scc Sun l2.

Tuesday 14


Boy Chubby Brown (‘lytlc Auditorium. l'ittttic‘stott Quay. 0870040 4000. 1: l6. Scc Mon l3.

Caledonia McBrains BBC Main Rcccption. ()uccn Margarct l)riy c. 305 6602. 7pm. l’rcc. Rob Mclcan‘s donc a runncr. and it's up to ncyy host Dominik Diamond to takc tip thc rcigns whcrc thc gingcr onc lctt off. As anyonc W ho caught thc last scriCs will know, it's a reasonably t‘unny pancl gantcshon with tcatn captains l’rcd MacAulay and Karcn Dunbar. and l'caturcs gttcsts l'rotn thc stagc. scrccn. thc sporting world and comcdy circuit making up the numbers. For tickcts for thcsc liyc t‘ccot'dings. call 0l4| 305 6602.


OOT: OOT On Tuesday The Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£4). Scrcatning good humour courtesy of host (‘raig llill. thc man yy ho hcadlincd thc lirst cycr ()()'l‘. Jatncs llolmcs. lmpt‘oy dtio Stu and Paul and ‘(lttttpcst' host Jill l’cacock complctc thc pink-tinged linc-up. Hairy Watt Comedy Club llcriol- Watt l'niycrsity' l'nion. Riccarton. 451

5333. 9pm. £3. Int' I-"luur Slum- mirth makcr l‘rankic Boy'lc introduccs hard nut Raymond Mcarns and thc at't'ahlc (‘olin Ratnonc. Studcnts and gucsts only.

Open Mic Award Semi-Final 'l‘hc l’lcasancc. 60 TM l’lcasancc. 650 234‘). 9pm. [6 1L4). Ayalon's annual scarch tor thc contcdy stars ol‘ thc l'uturc hcats up \\ ith thc Scottish tinal hostcd hy (‘hris Addison.

Wednesday 15


OOT: OOT In Glasgow 'l‘hc Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 08706006055. 8.30pm. L5 0.4). (‘amp trash—talkcr Jamcs llolincs