Tweet ‘Oops (Oh My)’ (Warner 0000 l Decepttvely dirty R88 number from Missy Elliot's latest protege twell what else did you expect?). Skip to the ‘Amended Version' for added Bttbba Sparrxxx and a slice of slea/e.

Green Velvet ‘La La Land’ (Credence I... l One thing you can't accuse Green Velvet of is sanity. And this certainly hammers home the point. a delicioust deranged nursery rhyme chant along. Alice would be proud.

Sote ‘Electric Deaf’ (Warp 0000 l Well if deafness is their aim this ain‘t a bad start: stuttering drill & b; ss at a relentless pace. It calms down towards the end. but by then the damage has already been done. EVIl

télépopmusik ‘Love Can Damage Your Health’ (Chrysalis coo l Nice enough in a laid-back lvloloko kind of way. Good for dinner parties and the middle classes.

Ian Van Dahl ‘Reason’ (NuLife 00 l Chart dominance is assured for this latest slice of trance pap from lan Van Dahl. How can you tell? Well it has repetitive. blindingly-oi)viotis female vocals and tinny driving beats. just like they all do.

Fragma ‘Embrace Me’ (Illustrious 00 l See above for this carbon copy chart shite. but with a Spanish Influence.

Ms Dynamite ‘It Takes More’ (Polydor II. t Funky. hip hop inflected RXtB. Forlorn vocals and chille beats make this the perfect accomj)animent to splitting tip with yo' man.

Radioactive Man ‘Dive And Lie Wrecked’ (Rotters Golf Club moot Andre's/ \ft/eatherall's main cohort Keith il(}lllt|53‘."‘./()()(l fails to disappoint Willi his latest [P Absorlmtg techno of the intellectual variety.

Fat Joe ‘What’s Luv’ (Atlantic coo l Featuring the sun/eel vocals of Ashanti: well you can‘t really have some ()‘.’(L‘l""."/(}lglll rap hoodlum rtvarbling ‘What's Luv' can ya? Bit of a grout/er but could do ‘.’.’lllt a bit more bite. (Henry Northmore;

I for more /(?‘/.’(?‘./‘./.‘; see Records sect/on.

78 THE LIST ’5 .V : Ht.

I Budda at liar littdda. Spin tnidnight. liree. \Veekl}. l’ttt‘\'e)or ol~ line lunk ('ht'is Ilarris stt} s a slammitr hello to the Budda elientele. \\ ho are in lot' a night ol~ high elass house. lintr} old} to those \searing their diseo trousers.

I Chi at Me(‘huill's. Spin midnight. l-‘ree. \Veekl}. the ('hi spinners hegin h} deplo} ing a unique hlend ot~ melloxs shaolin heats and then unleash the

hem ier stut‘l' later on.

I Critical Mass at Niee’n‘Slea/y Spin late. I‘ree. \Veekl}. .\'oj (Midi lli-l‘i) and John mess \\ ith _\ottr head pla} ing att_\thing t't'otn dtth. punk. indie. reggae. hip hop. dance and fit“ k to sottl and tank. (‘ome along and kiek ottt the jams or go uptoun top rankin‘. (iuest his most \ieeks.

I Cul de Sac at (’ul de Sae.

5pm midnight. \Veekl}. ('ul de Sae kntms \\ltill its eustotners \\ ant: good tnusie and loads of it. Kenn} llislop takes to the tleeks from 5pm to Spin. and then at ()pm Stet e Sutherland ol l'rhana Mttsie takes o\ er. Sensor} merload.

I Edward’s at liduard's.

9pm midnight. l‘ree. \\'eekl_\. .-\n alter- olliee L‘l‘tt\\tl is worked tip into a hall of happiness h} 1)] Keith l’_\ per. l’lease he careful.

I Friday Street at Blaekl'riars. .\'e\t date .il Ma}.

I Martyn at Air ()rganie.

0pm midnight. l'tee. \Veekl}. Mart)n t.lengalteads. Mhelt l’rojeet. l'nder the (’ottnter. .lengaheadsi drops in to the ultra-funk}. l)ean llappel-designed \Vest lind har to turnish the darling eustomers u ith a set that goes \\ herex er it damn

\\ ell likes. Regular guest slots l‘rom ltis friends make this a night ol' dixerse goodness. llere eomes summer . . .

I Kenny H at Moloeo (West liltdl. ()pm midnight. l‘ree. \\'eekl_\. Funk} groo\ es lrom around the glohe. \\ ith a health} smattering of soul throun in for good measure.

I Moda at Moda. Spin 3am. l‘ree. \Veekl}. I).ls Mark and Seott entertain the troops in this. one of the most attraetn e night-spots in lo\\ n. House and Rtklt are the order of. the da}. httt il~ that doesn't tullil then just tnarxel at \\lt;tl must he the L‘oolesl lireplaee ill to“ It.

I Moloco at Moloeo. Spin—midnight. l‘ree. \Veekl). Rotational l).ls trom the Bull eluh \tork the pre-eluh erottd in this line \Vest lind hoo/er.

I Moskito at Moskito. ()pm midnight. liree. \VL‘elsl}. 'l‘he Sole (loll Ste\ ie Middleton “arms a t'unk} et‘tmd under liatlt Street. l.ike all good l).ls. he's not afraid to thrtm itt something old.

horrtm ed or e\ en hlue.

I Nico’s at .\'ieo‘s. 0pm midnight. l't'ee. \Veekl}. \ieo's uttt‘ttts tlte Sauehiehall rex ellers up \\ ith happ}. popular tnusie and a seleetion ol aleoholie he\erages. .\ no\el idea it e\ er there “as one.

I Paddy Power at the \’ariet_\ liar. ()pm midnight. l-‘ree. \Veekl}. It‘s a ease of. the musie rel‘leeting the \enue. 'l'lte admirahl} eeleetie [)1 l’add} tires on eter)thing lt‘ottt Brian lino to l'nderground Resistanee. More pou er to his st} ltts.

I Papacool at the Basement Bar.

9pm midnight. l’ree. \Veekl}. l’apaeool oeeup) that heautit‘ul niehe ol'ja/l} soul ltmk \\ ith a graee that most lust ean't manage. Quite speeial.

I Paul Cawley at Air ( )rganie.

‘)pm tnidnight. l’ree. \Veekl). Respeeted (ilasgou DJ and l‘enetik king Paul

(‘a\\ le} ser\ es tip some last) shit to the Organic posse.

I Phonic at 54 Below ‘)pm midnight. l‘t'ee. \Veekl}. l’honie l).ls Ste\ en Reill) and Gordon l.ogan set'\ e up some tjualit} ll()ll\l‘ gt‘tttn es.

I Russell’s at Russell‘s.

(th11 midnight. l‘ree. \Veekl). l).l Ya“ kieks ottt the hest Rtkli. hip-hop and

s\\ ingheat.

Gene Farris guests at Relief, Sat 11 May

I Soulsa Presents: Vinyl at Strata. 0pm midnight. l’ree. \Veekl}. Another heatttitul (ilasgou har \\ ith a litting tnusie polie). l'ndergrottnd house. l.atin \ ihes attd ehoieest diseo l'rotn .r\nd'\ l'nger. Shae-l) and speeial guest l).ls.

I Sound Museum at (‘(‘.\ har.

9pm midnight. l‘ree. Weekly (‘hris 'lieans' (ieddes tlielle ts Sehastiant and llllsltpllptt} tl)i\ ine. (iS;\i uneot er a l'orgotten \sorld ol' sound. deh ing deeper and more earel'ull} than man} into lost realms of soul. l.atitt. lunk. diseo and e\otiea.

I Stateside Sounds at the State Bar. 4 7pm. l‘ree. \Veekl}. l’attl Shields seleels alt.eountr} ltthltl'tles. roek elassies and hlues ettts. .\ night that should he eomtnended for doing something different and lor doing it \\ ell.

I Straight Ahead at Sp) Bar.

()pltt late. liree. \Veekl}. l)anee l'loorja/l. northern soul and funk spun h} the superh Straigltt :\ltead ere“.

Club

I Abnormals Anonymous at the ('(’.'\. 0pm 3am. L'S tun. 34 Ma}. Montltl}. Band l’ro l-‘orma. “hose lirst single is ahottt to he released on ()ptimo’s l’erl'ortnanee lahel. drop l3} to pin} :1 set. \shilst \\ riter l.ouise Welsh is here to read seleetion l-t'ottt her soon-to~he-released no\el 'I‘lit’ (titling /\)(N’Hl. .\s e\ er. l).l llusltPul‘l‘} attd ('hris ‘lieans' (ieddes

\\ ill he on hand to spin the tunes rarel} heard. .\ eltth ot' e\tjuisite originalit}.

I aerodynamico at .'\tl l.ih. Montltl). .\'e\t date 7 .lttne.

I Afterglow at .-\d l.ih. l lpm 3.30am. £5 it'll. Mi\ing tip essential Mod. ltatntnond. hoogaloo and northern soul are regular .v\lterglo\\ l).ls Mike} (‘ollins. l’aul .\lollo_\ and l)a\} Quinn. .loining them as guest lot: this night on the It) Ma} is the uonderlttl .ltmm} Mae tModern l.o\ers. lidinhttrglti.

I The Ark at the 'l'unnel.

lt)..it)ptn Rant. [7 (Hi. \Veekl}. .\'e\ er mind \\ ho aetuall} on us the plaee: the 'l-tlltttel does \\lt;tl il does \er_\ \\ ell and ils lo)al ertmd lo\ e it. Seott Maeka} and Simon to} keep the eroud jumping \\ ith industrial strength hard house in the main room. \thile (iar) (’urle} mo\ es the eroud in har t\\o \\ ith smooth garage and \oeal house.

I BCdeO :Il llte l\’i\et’sttle Social. \e\l date .il Ma}.

I Bogota! at ('ttha \orte. ‘lpm 2am. l'ree. \Veekl). .\ night of l.atin pop and house. replete \\ illt lillUll. daneiltg and general merr) —tn;tktng. lieautilttl.

I Bughouse at Soha. \t‘\t dale " .lune. I Concrete at Soundhaus. llptn 5am. L8 ([7). It) Ma}. Monthl}. l).l ()reo and DJ l’hieks are joined h} a \er} speeial

guest tonight: lirst lad} ot' nu-skool ht‘eaks and heats lll Stti. She's heen honing lter skills on an exhaustix e stateside tour. so the erots d \\ ill he in prett} safe hands.

I The Cathouse at the ('athottse.

ll) 30pm 3am. [I helore llptn. £4 tt'ii alter. \Veekl}. Riding high on the nu- metal \\;t\ e. this is one ol' the busiest nights in to“ n. Roek. grunge. indie and a dash of hreakheat aeross tltree lloors at (ilasgtm ‘s top \enue tor roekers and alternateens.

I Clockwork at Big John. Nev date 7 .lune. Mottlhl}.

I Club Cubana at the 'letttptts har. .\'e\t date 7 .lttne. Monthl}.

I Coded at \"attlt. llpm Rant. ‘5 tut. \Veekl}. The} ‘re limit it reeord store. so the tunes are going to he fresh and liigltl} t'unk}. aren't the) '.’ .\ rotating roster ol' l).ls affiliated to 33rd l’reeinet suppl) house-led gt'oo\ es at the ne\\ eluh. Ste\ en .\le('reer} is the tnain man. hill the pool of talent ineludes Bill} Kiltie. Bill) \Voods and .-\tnanda l’riee.

I Debunk at the Vault tZS Queen St l. New date 7 .lttne. Monthl}.

I Deviance at Alaska. \e\t date 7 .lttne. Mottlltl}.

I Fresh at the Polo Lounge.

llptn 3am. £5. Weekl}. Michelle and And} take eharge ot' the musieal duties in this delieious Mereltant (it) mi\ed t‘luh. \Vltether _\ou're iii the 'l'roph} Rootn or on the daneel'loor. the tunes \\ ill t'ttel _\our happiness.

I Foot Therapy at Alaska. Monthl}. \e\l date the.

I Foresight at Roeks} is Basement. Monthl}. Nest date the.

I Funk Room at the :\t'elte\.

llptn 3am. L'lt). l," Ma). Montltl). 'l‘lie ‘l)ap-tlip' danee era/e is s\\ eeping tlte nation it seems. and the queen of this phenomenon is Miss Sharon Jones. \\ ho is pla_\ ing at this renoxt ned night ol lunkateering ttta_\ltem. .»\pparentl} it's going to he a right laugh. Miss Jones \\ ill he joined h} her hand. the l)ap Kings atid the lunkiest ot residents Andre“ l)i\ inel and Sitnon Big Beat. I‘m: [/11\ lltllt’ (III/V '.'\'I.I'\I.('(II‘(/ huh/(H L't’l 5”” HI] I/It‘ t/UHI' [tr/tr till lire/i! long.

I Gain at .-\laska. llpm 3am. L‘ltl t LS). lll Ma}. Monthl}. l).l Rolando isjoining the initnitahle l’ere} .\ for this teehno mash tip. ll~ )ott like )our tunes harsh. rough. read} httt al\\a_\s elass} then get do“ It ltet'e.

I Glasnost at .v\laska. ltlfillpm 3am. [S IUH. l" Ma}. Monthl}. lillen .v\llien is the legendar} part} organiser and ouner ol' liltiteh (‘ontrol reeords from Berlin. She's also an ineredihl} talented eleetronie producer and \oealist \\ ith a lid} l3 releases alone tilt her lahel. So