Products, fashion and style

Offside trappings

Top tips on scoring world-class gear. Words: Maureen Ellis

edicated followers of fashion would do well to avert their eyes from happenings in

Japan and Korea over the coming weeks. World Cups. after all. are renowned for spurring dubious highlights. demi-waves and sarongs .

. and that‘s just David

Beckham. Nevertheless. around four billion pairs of beady eyes will disregard their nylon- aversion and lap up four weeks of majestic football action.

Skiving off work and flying to the other side of the world is an unrealistic. if highly attractive. option. so. by way of a consolation. we've scoured the shops and web for the best

football gimmicks to maximise your World Cup-appreciation. Kit yourself out with a few soccer

essentials and discover how a match a day helps you work. rest and play.

All work, no play

1 Table football £19.99. www.iwantoneofthosecom

Relive those amazing Worle Cup moments from the comton of yOLir workstation. Unfortunately the players are in regimental red or yellow. so unless you're a whiz With a sewing machine. we Suggest you develop an appreCiation for Portugal England. Sweden BraZiI. etc.

2 Tiny FM radio E7. \.'~/\..'~.I‘.v.gadgetshop.COm

This discrete little package is Gem. of pure World Cup-listening pleasure. You needn't miss a kick of the ball and your boss will be none the wiser. Result. 3 Baby cooler £80. www.gadgetshopcom Install this titchy godsend-cum-fridge at your desk in yOur car beside the sofa for maximum efficienCy. It holds up to eight 330ml cans and is also available in black. blue and hot pink.

4 Bunk off http: bunkoff.umbrocom

A Quite ingenious website from Umbro where avid fans can download a fake medical certificate. Warning: this last-resort procedure could seriously damage your earning potential.

Rest and be thankful

5 Inflatable football chair €9.99. Next. Make like Tom Hanks in Big and be the envy of all your mates with the ultimate in soccer IOunging. Hexagonal mosaic patterns. inflatable structure: it's a wonder style gurus haven't thought of it before. 6 Amstel beer Oddbins.

Get with the World Cup lingo with a case of Holland's finest. England fans might want to stick to the Beddingtons.

7 Bottle opener

Recommended by dentists of all nationalities. Our research uncovered many novelty deVices. but yOur bog standard can opener shouldn't detract Significantly from the overall enJOyment.

8 Remote-control jammer £5. www.gadgetshopcom

As prescribed in ye football testament of olde. the hand that controls the remote rules the world. Enjoy a hassle-free time with this handy device.

9 Cooler fan €7.99. wmv.iwantoneofthosecom Feeling hot and bothered? Then cool off with a refreshing san of water c0inplemented by a gentle breeze. In case of iiiadeduaCy. combine items 3 & 6.

1O Kalms $23.50. Boots.

Natural stress—relief for pre-match nerves and pre— work sobriety.

1 1 Alarm clock €4.75. Argos.

Take heed: a trusty alarm clock is the World Cup essential. Sod's Law dictates that all World Cup games will be played at ungodly and unfazr times of the day so be prepared for severely fucked-up sleeping patterns. In times of particularly bad luck. battery back-up is recommended.

12 Coffee/Red Bull/Pro-Plus

See above. Consume in vast quantities.

Play daze

13 Inflatable goal and ball €13. www.gadgetshopc0m

Transform your living room into the San Siro ior insert apprOpriate Japanese stadium herei and bend those inflatable goal posts like Beckham Airdrie tans. Set also doubles as a volleyball game for the inevitable World Cup overload.

14 Cantona’s ball £6.99. Nike Town. London. The coveted star of the sexiest and most expensive football ad ever can be yOurs to play with whenever you please. OK. so its Just an imitation chrome skillball. but we're all allowed to dream.

15 World Cup bra Triumph. limited edition. Cheap shot alert: with this soccer-

inspired underwear

ensemble. yOur team

scoring will be the = ‘I 3.3; least of yetir _ . “a.” worries. Tacky in the extreme. j“

but do we not i like that? '