The Front


When you walk through a storm, make sure you’ve got a solid hairnet keeping that glossy


ggggzgve barnet tied down. The footballer’s relationship to his hair has been as crucial as his ability head of to thread through defence-splitting passes. Here are the mane men. programmes. ,. 2:322: :rd Dave Seaman Employee of the month or the safest ' Barry Venison They call Stuart Pearce ‘Psycho' but

Channel 4, kicks a few ideas about and chooses his top World Cup moments.

1 Maradona’s ‘Hand of God’ goal This was a moment of brilliant machiavellian theatre. He describes it as an Argentinean thief picking England's pocket.

2 Archie Gemmell’s solo goal In 1978 against Holland. Better than sex or heroin said Trainspotting.

3 Roger Milla’s hip hustling dance Performed when he scored for Cameroon. Pure celebration.

4 David Narey’s goal against Brazil in Spain Famously dismissed by Jimmy Hill as a toe- poke. The BBC phone lines were jammed. Scots were suitably appalled.

5 France coasting to victory in 1998 Done on a wave of immigrant euphoria. it was Jean- Marie Le Pen‘s worst nightmare.

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manager of Celtic, beats the defenders and kicks his top five World Cup moments right into the back of the net.

1 Archie Gemmill, Scotland v Holland, Argentina 1978 Archie sc0red one of the best goals I have ever seen.

2 Pole, Sweden 1958 Pele in his first World Cup. lifted the ball over the head of a Swedish defender and volleyed it in. A teenager with skill and composure.

3 Maradona, Mexico 1986 Maradona's other goal against England. Picking up the ball in his own half and weaving his way through the English defence.

4 Gordon Banks, Mexico

1 970 The ball came over from the left wing, Pele met it perfectly with his head. Banks somehow dived and diverted it over the bar.

5 David Narey, Scotland v Brazil, Spain 1982 Jimmy Hill said it was a toe poke but it was a fabulous shot into the net.



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Dick Advocaat hair ‘enhancement’.

hands in soccer? Nowadays. he's gone for the Teutonic porn ponytail look, but we preferred him when he was more likely to offer you an interest-free loan.

Terry Hurlock This midfielder signed for Rangers from Millwall in the halcyon Souness days when

finishing a game against the lbrox team with all your =1

teeth was considered a victory. Hurlock caused more than his fair share of barnets, lunging wildly at players‘ ankles with his silky Brian May locks flapping behind.


Zinedine Zidane He may have just scored the best goal ever, but the large blob of skin at the back of his head looks like it needs a good scratch. Or

Kenny Dalglish He may have been known as fitba’s King Kenny, but perhaps American Football should really have been his chosen spot. He could

have won the Superbowl single handed.

Henrik Larsson In the days before he couldn't go outside without flashing his tongue at us. the Celtic goal machine spent much of his time sitting around waiting for his next soft core script to drop in his lap. Or nestle in that mouser.

David Ginola When rumours arose that Ginola was

bringing his clean, flowing locks to Hibs. images surfaced of him being approached at midnight by leery Lothian Road lads mistaking the French fancy for Elle MacPherson. Or Lorraine Kelly.


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the Geordie looks as though he's been told that he‘ll never share a studio with Gabby Logan ever again. Or perhaps his barber has just informed him that the mullet has vacated the fashion of the day.

Peter Beardsley Never the coolest of characters, Beardo scuttled around the midfields of Liverpool and Newcastle while having one of the most unfortunate speech impediments among the modern footballing fraternity. And his Pyrex style napper hardly helped to defuse his village idiot persona. '5

David Beckham Becks goes through more shampoo than a Crufts winner these days (no Posh jokes please) but of all the good hair days he's had. we reckon the Little Lord Fauntleroy look was his finest.

Carlos Valderrama He may have looked like the missing link to the Muppets. but Valderrama sported his mop with pride. Rumours that the Colombian superstar kept his stash up there were neither denied nor proved.

Bobby Charlton The classic combover look

perfected by geography teachers across the globe was introduced by the Man U legend. The ‘Bobby Charlton' was all the rage in the Swinging 60s A bit like the ‘Rachel'. But very. very different.

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