- - rently 3 did quite well in 1966
Power in the Union?
Tattoo yourself with Union Jacks and unfurl those St George’s Crosses. Sven and the boys need your support. Words: Brian Donaldson
yer since a hunch ol oyer-entlmsiastic rattle-wielders and rosette-
donners ran on to the Wemhley pitch and allowed (ieoi'l~ llurst to
walt/ through a distracted West (ierman defence for his (illegal) hat- trick. we‘ye neyer heard the end of it. l‘)(i(i. 4- 2. Six numhers that comhine to send shiyers down the spine of eyery Scottish l‘oothall fan.
And so. as the World (‘up heckons. it’s time to hone up on those witty songs ahout Jimmy Hill. inyest in Henrik Larsson masks and ('laudio (‘anniggia wigs and get ready to pray that Syen and the hoys are coming home asap. ()r is it'.’ The S.\'l"s Andrew Wilson has suggested that we should think the unthinkahle and prepare to hack Becks and co as they take on Sweden. Argentina and Nigeria. ('ould the llampden Roar he redirected to cheer on the Three Lions'.’
Alter all. do any of the usual arguments stand tip anymore'.’ Certainly. the old certainties ahout national identity are tip for grahs. We‘ye caught up with the rest of the world and looked heyond our horders for the Scotland coach. who is hellhent on checking the heritage ol' eyery young player in Britain. to discoyer il‘ they haye a great—grandparent who once spent the minutes at l’restwick Airport. .\'ot a new
dey‘elopntent this: Andy (ioram and Scotland
Don Hutchinson weren't hrought tip
with Lion Rampant duy'ets warming won in 1 them at night. we’d be
Ask any Scottish l‘an ii there is a
cluh team whose results they look out remlndlng lot after their chosen Scottish
affiliation. and they are unlikely to choose Racing (‘Iuh'or .\la|mo. x1). it decades on will he Liy'erpool or (‘helsea And how many ol‘ them desperately wanted to see Manchester l'nited in the (‘hampions League l’inal in (ilasgowl’
llow ahout their hooligans: how can we follow a side with such a nasty l‘ollowing'.’ Well. the Dutch. Welsh and (iermans haye equally scary moh elements hut it wouldn't stop Scots from cheering them on. Yes. hut those commentators are so hard to swallow. ranting on ahout Who eyery the minutes. Why shouldn‘t they'.’ li' Scotland won the ultimate prize in international l'oothall. you can he certain that our misty-eyed analysts would he reminding the world ahout it three decades on.
llaying moyed into the 21st century. w e’re in an age where nationalistic l’eryour and jingoistic hyperhole has hecome outdated and horing. At the end of the day. it's just a game. And one which the linglish actually do quite well: the 5 l counter-attacking masterclass in (iermany. Beckham's miraculous tree-kick against (ireece. lleck. they've even had Syen and l'lrika (why couldn't (‘raig Brown haye tried to pull Lorraine Kelly".’).
.‘ylayhe when it comes down to it. we just iind it hard to admit that we cannot touch lingland. So. perhaps it's time to swallow our pride and ditch the pointless xenophohia which imhues our ‘healthy riyalry~ with lingland. Altogether now: "l'hree Lions on the shirt . . f
6THE LIST .' 1 :.’
1 Julia Morris
Comedy She was cruelly overlooked by the Perrier panel last year, but here’s a chance for the charmingly filthy Aussie comic to show what she can do. See feature. page 16. Stand. Glasgow & Edinburgh.
2 Biggie & Tupac
Film Nick Broomﬁeld turns his penetrative documentary gaze to the largely unexplained deaths of the two massive rap stars. See review. page 23. Selected release.
3 Akram Khan
Dance The mesmerising Kathak-trained dancer brings us Kaash, a piece about destruction and renewal. See preview, page 56. Tramway, Glasgow.
4 Alan Warner
Books The Man Who Walks is Warner’s latest difficult but ultimately rewarding venture into the surreal and scatological. See feature. page 12. Jonathan Cape; Borders, Glasgow.
5 Street Of Blood
Theatre Rape, crucifixion and a vampire being knifed by Jesus. This is the fascinating world of Canadian puppetmaster Ronnie Burkett. See preview. page 55. Tramway, Glasgow.
6 Warp Magic Bus Tour Music The legendary ‘difficult’ label locks its doors and heads for the road, with some of its class acts such as Plaid in tow. See feature. page 8. Glasgow School of Art.
7 Piano Teacher
Video Michael Haneke upset some people with the sadistic Funny Games, but here he gets lsabelle Huppert doing some truly horrid stuff as the eponymous key fondler. See review. page 105. Artificial Eye.
TV Julie Walters stars as a grieving mum whose son has been brutally slain the day after his 2ist birthday. Cruel but inspiring drama. See review. page 106. 8802.
Clubs Dannii Minogue attempts to step from the shadow of her publicity-shy big sister as she joins Seb Fontaine. 808 State and David Morales. See feature. page 1 1. Braehead Arena. Glasgow.
10 Super Monkey Ball Games A Gamecube masterpiece in which you help a little chimp get through a nerve—shredding array of tasks. See review. page 104. Sega.