The Front

THE INSIDER Who’s getting up to what

I We remember him when his greatest ambition was to interview only celebrities who were shorter than him (of whom there are very few). so it's good to see Peter Ross making his Own way in the world. writing cracking profiles of all kinds of personalities. some as tall as 5ft 2in. So good are his Sunday Herald articles that he was deservedly named Arts Entertainment Writer of the Year at the recent Scottish Press Awards. In the programme note for the swanky black tie ceremony in Glasgow. he wrote: ‘In his two years at The List. Peter Ross' proudest moment came when he interviewed Woody Allen and Buffy the Vampire Slayer in the same week.‘ It was a proud moment for us all. Peter. Woody Allen is 4ft 7in.

I Watch out! Edinburgh's Traverse Theatre has become a hotbed of Nordic pedantry. In the post-show discussion after a reading of Jon Fosse's Death Variations. one audience member who'd seen the same play at its premiere in Oslo and said this Scottish verSion was better explained how the Noiwegian playwright had chosen not to write in his own Bergen dialect. ‘He's not from Bergen.“ interjected another punter. raising the temperature of the rocm. 'Well. he's from that area.‘ c0untered the first. Phew! Heady stuff. But don't write it off as the arcane ObSBSSIOnS of the capital‘s unexpectediy large Norwegian community. Fosse. a former rock mUSician. is a major figure everywhere except here. There are

135 productions of Jon Fossc plays in the world right now. And you didn't know there were that many theatres. This Summer's Edinburgh International Festival staging of The Girl on the Sofa will be number 136.

I Spot the odd ones out: Tarbie. Brucie. little Ronnie Corbett. Nick Faldo. Prince Harry. Sarah Lucas and Roderick Buchanan. Answer: there are no odd ones out. It's a trick question. They all love golf. Yes. birdies. albatrosses. irons. bogeys and all that palaver. What. even Lucas and Buchanan, the darlings of the contemporary art world? Why yes.

8 THE LIST ‘5 Q‘)Ju’12'.(,?

What’s this movie called again?

Well. kind of. The two of them have signed themselves up to something called Absolut Art Holes Iwhich is very funny because it setinds like Absolute Arse Holesi. a self-styled ‘cra7y golf course with an artistic twist' that will be installed on the f:fth floor of Glasgow’s Lighthouse .n July. They'll be Joined by Abigail Fallis. Billy Childish. Mark Manning aka Zodiac Mindwarp and others. each of them deSigning one of nine 'art holes". To give yeti an idea of the tone of the show. Sarah Lucas is calling hers 2 Jugs and a Beaver. That'll be par fOr the course for her. then.

I Anyone remember i"/i‘enieiito'? COurse you do. It was the brilliantly b8“.‘/Ild0rlllg thriller by Christopher Nolan that was all told backwards

Smash the system

and starred Guy Pearce as a man with no short term memory. I an did your head in. Vulell. the bog. Nolan's still at it. The DVD edition gust released ll‘. the US has no menu to help you navigate the various features on the two discs. Rather. the poor punters have to answer a load of questions. testing their memory and coinpiehension. If they get them right get them right

and only if they they can get to the feature they want. ‘It doesn't give up its secrets too easily] Nolan has confessed.

I There's nothing the music industry likes better than blaming music lovers

every time there's a minor blip in its obscene profit margins. But all the eVidence shows that the opponunity to sample music. whether it be On the radio. tape or MP3s. makes people more likely to go out and buy the originals: not less. Long ago in the pre-intei‘net era. they ran a tedious campaign to persuade us that HOME TAPING IS KILLING MUSIC. Yeah. stoi‘e dead. obviously. Like. no ones made any music since 1982. have they? And the latest ruse from Sony and Universal MUSIC is to sell ‘copy- proof' CDs that won't wOrk in computer drives: the same drives that persuaded you to buy your ‘multi- media' computer in the first place. Or so they thought. To feil the corporate monolith and apparently there are I 1 million of the discs in Europe yOu will need: one felt-tip marker pen. Use it to scribble round the rim of any awkward disc and instantly the high- tech copy protection is redundant. Ha!

I Everyone loves Vegas. but we never realised the club's reputation had spread as far as Seattle. Nor indeed did the club's Ewan McNaught. aka Frankie Sumatra. He's been '.'.iorking on a compilation CD of his favourite swing tracks. two of which are performed by HB Radke and the .Jet (Jity Swingers and which he always plays at the end of his nights. Although tltey"‘.'e never met him. the band wanted to thank McNaught for promoting their music in the UK. So they took themselves down to the local recording studio and knocked out a version of ‘Viva l_os Vegas' Just for him. l'he first he knew about it was when a massive audio attachment showed up in his email. 'Are there any othei clubs that have had a band record a song specifically for thein’?’ he asks. No indeed not.

TH E QUOTES ‘My mum cut her own hair, and if you see a photo of my dad with a crazy hairdo, she

probably out his too.’ Stella McCartney explains the mullet Of Kintyre.

‘People call it prostitution and think of it as an ugly term, but it really is an act of caring consideration.’

Heidi Fleiss tries to rebrand the oldest profession.

‘I took the acting seriously, but in the end I didn’t really give a shit because I wanted to be a painter.’

Black Hawk Down actor Josh Han‘nett has a CTISIS of identity.

‘It was a very painful experience. I’m glad he’s out though. I can see my toes now.’

But surely Jordan cou/dn 't see her toes even before she got pregnant?

‘I feel so sorry after winning the competition.’

EUTOV/S/O/i Song Contest winner Marie N from Latvia misses the point.

‘Mr Barrie would have been horrified. He was not interested in that sort of obvious sexuality and romance.’

Laura Duguid, JM Barrie '3 god- daughter. reacts to the prospect of a Hollywood remake of Peter Pan in which Wendy has a sexual awakening.

‘People say: “You must have so much money,” and I will have when I’m 21, but at the moment I only get £120 a month.’

Poor little Charlotte Church scrapes a livmg.

‘When I worked nine to five, I expected to get a fucking pay cheque. It’s the same with music.’

Poor little Eminem scrapes a /I‘///lg.