The Front

THE INSIDER Who’s getting up to what

I It‘s like eaSy listening never happened. Top critics and cultural thinkers throughout Scotland (OK. one hack on The List) have been rocked to their foundations (get on with it: ed) on the discovery that an ordinary punter has taken the business of critical commentry into his or her own hands. Clearly this will not do. First. a poster for But Bacharach's forthcoming gig at the Edinburgh Playhouse was defaced by a piece of toast slap bang in the middle of his puss. Such rudimentary criticism is hardly Lester Bangs. but it didn't stop there. Next thing. a neighbouring Bacharach poster appeared with real. actual writing scribbled on top. Sentences and stuff: ‘Don't pay. Sneak in. because I suck live.‘ Insider says this is a practice that must be stamped out for fear the civilised world will crumble into the dirt.

I The new exhibition at the National Gallery of Scotland was supposed to

. reveal where 3 I. 1F: . "P.

Rubens got his ideas from. His trick was to nip down to Italy. swot up on the old masters and copy ~ what he liked. Sometimes he'd cut out bits of older drawings and paste in his own versions in their place. Or that's what they want you to believe. As any reader of The List will tell you. a close look at the work on show reveals not Rubens. but the work of our very own John Fardell attempting a character sketch of our very own Phil Kay. We think someone should be told.

I It's official. Glasgow's Theatre Crypic now produces more press releases about its director than it does about its shows. In the past twelve months Cathie Boyd. for it is she. has won approximately 573 awards in 102 c0untries and each one has produced 17 press releases. Her latest claim to fame is that she reached the final of the Rolex Mentor and Protege Initiative. a scheme designed to give young artists the

chance to get personalised instruction from leaders in their held over the course of a year. This comes after her National Endowment for Science. Technology and the Arts fellowship. her award for European Woman of Achievement for the Arts. her place on the shortlist of the Prudential Creative Briton 2000 award and The List Award for Winning Lots of Awards Award.

I On the subject of awards you never knew existed. we've won one. Yes. The List swept to victory in the Jackie Forster Memorial Award for Culture in reCOgnition of Our Gay section's 'long-term and growing presence not only for quality of information but also the Cultural perspective of the LGBT community' Hurray! At an emotional ceremony during the Pride Scotland jamboree in Glasgow Green on Saturday 22 June. Gay editor John Binnie promises to Cry. thank his parents and forget his prepared speech.

I Don't let anyone tell you that Lemonescent are just another manufactured girl band. No siree. they are not. But why? Could it be that

Walk on by

worryingly Suicidal line on their debut single Beautiful that goes ‘I need your touch to explode me'? Nope. Could it be Nikki's dislike of gherkins? Nope. Lisa's bad habit of biting her nails? Not at all. Shonagh's first job as a dog walker? Nah. Or Sarah's dislike of sweetcorn and bananas? No. no. no. Lemonescent are different to every other manufactured girl band ever because they are a Scottish manufactured girl band. Just thought we'd clear that one up.

I To keep you diverted before the arrival of Our free 1' in the Park CD with next issue. featuring an exclusive track from Idlewild and great tunes from Oasis. Dot Allison and the Beta Band. Insider thinks you'll be diverted by the latest musical craze. It's called lowercase sound and it's driving the kids wild. And what is it? Why. it's music that's so quiet you can hardly hear it. There are songs created from the sound of helium balloons bumping into the ceiling. the noise of water coming to the boil and paper being handled. Find out more at wwwlowercasesound .com Insider says: 'Let's rock.‘

It’s different for girls


‘I live in rage’s home town. You can’t leave the


morning without

wanting to kill somebody.’ Denis Leary 's New York doesn't SOL/rid like the friendly. tOl/Chy-fOe/y place it threatened to be after i 1 September.

‘lt’s all a matter of perspective. To my mother I’m her son, to my friends I’m their mate.’

Tobey Maguire puts his own spin on why he won 't be forever typecast after Spider-Man.

‘There were days I wanted to chainsaw my feet off, believe me.’

Richard Gere over-reacts somewhat to performing the odd soft shoe shuffle in the movie version of Chicago.

‘I want to welcome her into the monstrous regiment of Bad Celebrity Mothers.’

Julie Burch/ll chums up to Jordan.

‘It’s typical of this country that the wonders of the human body should be hidden away.’

Gunther von Hagen hits Out at the controversy over skinned corpses in his Body Worlds exhibition.

‘His legacy will be that he showed mob leaders of the future how not to run a crime family.’

Mafia watcher Jerry CapeCCi bids a less than fond farewell to John Gotti.

‘The old lady is a good person. But the worst thing is that there is no one suitable to take over the crown. That freeloader Edward? He’s the most useless bastard I know.’

Jay Kay is clearly still miffed at not getting an invite tO the Paity at the Palace.

Mr Kay has a bad hair day