(Just Flight) £29.99 .0.

When you think of flight simulation. what excites you? the smart money is on cori‘bat. nerye~ shredding dogfights. precision in ssile strikes and grountl-hugging bombing raids. Some also find the exactitude of realistic simulation appealing. the flaps at so-and—so percent. trrrr‘ at blah blah degrees. etc.

Well. Just lr‘iignt has gone somewhere in the middle ‘.'.’llll Xtreriie Air Ric/rig. This combines the speed of a dogfighter ‘.'.’llli the pacifisni of airliner siiris. placing you in the cockpit of a racing plane. Actually it is a range of racing planes. each ‘.'.’|ll‘. therr own attributes; and ridiculous coioui‘ schemes. the actual racing is fun for a ‘.‘.’lill(,‘ but soon the desire for a fire button sy'xc-ils and it all seeriis pedestrian. But for those first fey-.r runs the sense of speed and the chailenge of the race are as enjoyable as ,rou'll get in any flight sini. ilain Davidson.

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Grand Prix 4 i/’(.‘ Infog/a/iies 5‘.”.‘)..‘).‘); (Bo karts for geeks. Neverwinter Nights il’C //ifogranies .‘L”.‘)..‘).‘)i Never steep llil the .‘xrnter nights.

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110 THE LIST .’ i.'


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With \.’\’iii‘ibledon on your screens day and night. and your local courts filled to the Pat Hatters with brace toothed brats thinking they're the next Capriati irninus the drugs cony'ictioni or Henman i\.'.ritli extra personalityi. how are you meant to brush up on your backhand? With a tennis ball machine. of course. something ‘.'.lll()li can fire harry bornblets at you. hitting speeds ‘.'.’l)|(3ii may ‘.'.'e|l rupture several crucial arteries.

DODGY DATING jailbaitorlegal/

Test your ability to guess the age of some poutrng females. all of ‘.'.’li()fi‘ teeter dangerously close to the age of consent. If you think it's too easy iiike the majority of the .EitiKES on shoy'x. one fearsi syn/alloy: a fey'i cans of cider. and then try again. lnen punch your lay'wy'ei's number into your mobile in case of emergency.

NASTY GNOMES http://grease.errgh .com/index.htm

Are gnomes evil? Almost certainly. and proof of it lies here. ‘.'.rher'e the l.‘."|l Onoii‘e Society of America gets stuck into some sacred cows such as Star l'./a.'s and eiges.

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Still, it's hard to resist the chance to make sayings on wood caryed la\.'.'n ornaments. as l)l'()il‘lf3(?(l here.

BEAUTY PAGEANT http://americasbeautif

Proof l)()f§|il‘.'(} that America s the finest country ill the '.'.'l‘.ole ‘.'.’I(l(? ‘.‘.roi‘|d. Beatit‘, pageants. Ho: it)..

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freshly polished cue balls. Aii‘erica's Btltttillldl lvt ss ry'xonky title that: ay'xar‘ds custoir‘ (:l()‘.'."l‘.f3 and rhinestone sashes for gallant ‘.'.’llill(?if3.

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Aren't priii‘ates gieat'? lhey'ie so like us. Doesn't it br'cak your heart that ii‘any o" ti‘en‘ are being illegally traded and abused for no reason. other than rt earns those traders and abusers yast sums of money so they can liy'e in extreme luxury navithout haying to lift a finger tor the rest of the:r life. If you giye a n‘onkey '5; about the chimps. give this site a yisit. And if it makes your fee. uiiiitterably depressed. you could eyen sponsor a tea sltiiper.

ilSiiah Donaldson,


Si’le‘Ll iSlOl’lC

(15) 150min 00.



Ali is not so great

It seemed like a match made in heaven. In the filmmaking corner, Michael Mann, director of recent classics such as Heat and The Insider. In the acting corner, Will Smith, sitcom star, pop idol and Hollywood’s most bankable black name since Eddie Murphy. And in the subject’s chair, the lord of the ring aka the Greatest, otherwise known as Muhammad Ali.

And yet, almost from the first bell, this is among the most sluggish biopics on record. Mann seems in awe of his central character, the writing team of four has collectively dragged any tension from the story and while Smith gets the voice and actually looks like Ali from certain angles, that doesn’t mean he gets near to inhabiting the legend. Inside the ring, Ali covers the glory years from defeating Sonny Liston in 1964 to become world champ right through to the 1974 Rumble in the Jungle against the barbecue grill-loving George Foreman. Though, you’d be better served digging out the real life story of that battle in the stirring documentary When we were Kings.

Away from the canvas, we look in on his relationship with a clutch of women, his kinship with Malcolm X (Mario van Peebles) that led to his adoption then expulsion from the Nation of Islam (the organisation which had inspired Ali to ditch his slave birthname Cassius Clay) and his refusal to fight for the US in Vietnam.

This should have been a great film about a bouting boy but the Muhammad myth appears to have run rings round Smith and Mann.

(Brian Donaldson)

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nocx STAR (15) 105min 00

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replace him.

Mark Wahlberg is the coyei' band star plucked from obscurity along ‘.'.’lili simpering girlfriend .Jennifer Aniston. But let's hope this saccharine tale is only inspired by. not the reality of Judas Priest. \i‘y/here are the other essential elements to any good r'ock'n'roll story: sex and drugs? What promises to do for cock rock '.'.ihat Boogie Nights did for pornography comes across like nothing more s:nisfer than the I‘l'irtedge Flinn/"u :n spandex. i\.".’arner Home Video VHS rental: DVD rental r‘etaili illeni‘y Northmorei

norti cor/i DAWG (15) 80min .0.

Hole i'eyersals can put an i'iterestirig spin on gender l?()‘.'.'(?i' relations. iii [)a'nug. ‘.'.’()ll‘.(}li call ti‘e shots. as smooth talking Doug Denis l ()(ll‘yi nas to beg .‘oi'giyeness from a do/eii of his prepious sexual ccnguests if hers to ti‘llti‘fit his gi'andii‘othei 's -riosi‘. lega executor Anna lcckneait ia pztiriiniy llr.'aheti‘. lluiiey takes on the Charge of oy'erseeirig [Doug's spiritua: progress. but ‘.'.ill“.‘: [bag is forced to mm the consequences of rizs iiisalubr‘ious ‘.'.on‘an:sing. Anna finds it harder to come to terms ‘.‘.’|ll‘. her man

sextitii hang ups.