' THE OPINION
'I Dogtown and Z-Boys
Film The stunning documentary that wowed last year’s Edinburgh International Film Festival is about the ragtail teenage surf punks from southern California who changed the face of skateboarding. Selected release.
2 T in the Park
Music Balado’s best ever two-day line-up builds to Oasis via ldlewild, Primal Scream, the Parkinsons, Dot Allison, the Beta Band, Slam, Mercury Rev and loads more. See feature, page 19. Balado, by Kinross.
Records If The Remote Part doesn't go straight to number one. we’re going to eat our hats. And that’s a lot of hats. Noisy pop punk from Scotland’s finest . . . plus Edwin Morgan. See review, page 115. Parlophone.
Top of the flaps
Every best band list is a conspiracy of mediocrity. Words: Doug Johnstone
4 Absolut Art Holes
Art Doing for the Turner Art Prize what crazy golf did for Nick Faldo, this artistic golf course features the work of leading young British artists, including Sarah Lucas, Billy Childish and Roderick Buchanan. See preview. page 94. The Lighthouse, Glasgow.
ll top ten lists of bands are brilliant. And they are brilliant precisely
because they‘re always so utterly and tragically wrong. And rubbish.
Somehow over the last 30 years the media have conspired to create a sacred canon of rock‘n'roll. a bunch of untouchables who must. by law. top every bloody top ten list ever.
Needless to say all these artists are unmitigated shite and they are overrated simply through the overwhelming effects of worldwide peer pressure. Because all old music is crap. Fact. But it's not just pensionable drillers such as the dregs they dragged tip for that jubilee conceit who are al’l‘orded godlike status. As the years grind relentlessly by. some shadowy. secretive cabal of media opinion-makers allow occasional new bands to enter ‘best ol" lists. ‘You are worthy ol‘our lists.‘ they say. ‘because your music is dull gul'l‘.’
And so recently we‘ve seen the Stone Roses topping Radio (i .\ltisic‘s recent poll of best albums. and the Smiths
5 Come Play with Aftershock
Comedy Get up close and personal with Ross Noble, Brendon Burns, Ralph Little, the Cuban Brothers and Mackenzie Crook from The Office. See preview, page 75. The Stand, Edinburgh.
Art The first chance to see pieces by Douglas Gordon, Damien Hirst, Rachel Whiteread, Christine Borland, Jim Lambie,
lauded as the most inﬂuential band by Milli. iv . .
But YOU 0"” kup thL hm p 18; hm 1d 0“ are Howard Hodgkin, Lucren Freud and Alan
t H ‘ x 'r; e . . . . . P DaVIe all in one lace. See reVIew. a e
out completely. A recent (iuiiiness best song 0f 93 NationalGaIZry ofModgm Art p 9 poll leatpret:1 twig (lit the ugliest slongs 1evler our Ilsts Edinburgh. spewing on -‘ o iemian iapsot y ant tie mind-numbineg bad ‘lmagine‘ - battling it because
7 Pet Shop Boys
Music The West End boys have yet to lose their knack of delivering the slickest electropop with the driest of irony. And their live shows are always a treat. See preview, page 56. Edinburgh Playhouse.
out for top spot. Kill me now.
So since top ten lists are so brilliant/ dreadful. I‘ve proposed my own: The Most Overrated Bands of all Time. And here it is.
your music is dull guff’
1 The Beatles: The daddy of them all. Revolutionised music by ripping off the Kinks and smoking some pot. All you
and more sixth form poetry. Revrewer in a coma: it's serious. 6 Joy Division: Poor. iniseralile Ian
8 The D4
Music The List has teamed up with Barfly to lend our name to a series of gigs by the best up and coming bands. We’re calling it Hit List and New Zealand’s garage rockers. the D4, are first up. See preview, page 57.
need is love. No. all you need is to stop writing jumped-up nursery rhymes.
2 The Stone Roses: Everyone was so E'd up you could release a monkey
Curtis. Wait a minute. he's topped himself. (,‘ienitis. [)erisahle dirges suggest he put us all out of his inisery. 7 The Clash: No, no and thrice no.
clattering down some stairs and it'd be a hit. And so the Stone Roses were born. 3 The Doors: Again. drugs mainly to blame, making people confuse their self- indulgent pub rock and sixth form poetry with genius. Still, rhyming ‘lire'. ‘higher' and ‘pyre' really was genius. Really.
4 Radiohead: Ditched the tunes and starting playing incomprehenSIble ja/zy space rock which must be brilliant because it sounds so. like deep. Twats. 5 The Smiths: Heaven knows I'in miserable now. Pasty-faced, tey jangles
White punks play reggae. Why did no one notice how had an idea that was? 8 Pink Floyd: Blueprint dullards for Radiohead. Went on to produce 1:30 albums of elevator inu/ak
9 The Beach Boys: l’ei‘ SOL/Kl}; is the most overrated album of all tune by a mile. Playing piano xviih your feet in a sandhox If; not genius. Drugs to l)l£llll(}. 10 The Sex Pistols: Anger is an energy. Unfortunately this bunch of inanulactured oapheads had neither. Nor any good songs.
9 Trojan Records
Records Six bundles of joy lovingly re- released by Trojan Records. bringing us some of the best reggae, rock steady and ska that ever there was. See review, page 109. Trojan.
10 Ronald Frame Books Ronald Frame’s Permanent Violet
explores the tension between art and love. with exquisite descriptions and gentle
lyricism. See review, page 111. Polygon.
.1 1.”, Jul L’t
ltli‘ THE LIST 1 1