ideal world . . .
From Michael Moore to Tony Benn, Edinburgh has become a hotbed of pinko subversion. So we asked the festival’s leading radicals what three things would make the world a better place — and why.
1 TilCEﬂlkdlllS'dilOll of the United States and the emergence of three or four Independent republics.
2 The abolition of the World Bank. the International Monetary Fund and the World Trade Organisation.
3 The democratisation of China and the total separation of state and mosque in the House of Islam.
This would. of course. Just be a start. East and W 2st: fiction from Elsewhere. Consignia Theatre. Book Festival. Charlotte Square Gardens. (324 50:30. 72 Aug. 2.30pm. 57 Allin
1 Insisting on George Bush explaining why his favourite childhood read was The Hungry C.'1tei‘,'.)illar. when he was in fact 19 when it was first [)UbllSilOd.
2 Adoption of Douglas Adams' idea that 'anyone who seeks public office should immediately be prevented from dOing so.‘ as international law. An international law. incidentally. that the Americans should not have immunity from.
3 Me becoming supreme dictator for life of the universe. Sadly. this is impossible because of point two. not to mention my insistence of copious lie-ins as a condition of office. Still Thatcher managed on four hours sleep
a night. so maybe a dictator who slept a bit more wouldn't be such a bad idea.
The Uncertainty Prii iciple. Pleasai ice. the Pleasance. 5:36 (5550. 3—26 Aug. 8. lap/n. 5‘?) --5‘ If) ll‘é)‘ 5‘9). Prewews 37 Jul 2.) Aug. 5-5.
1 heat people as adults and WIN] respect.
2 Establish by self- organisation some democratic
30 THE LIST w. r
3 See that the structure works internationally. It's about peace. democracy and social justice. Globalisation is about freedom for capital to move. it's nothing to do with intei'iiationalism. Internationalism is about working with people who have similar problems to the ones at home. An Audience With Tony Benn, Edinburgh Festival Theatre, NICO/son Street. (329 6000, 73 8 74 Aug, 8pm, 5‘] 7430—5715130.
The first step would be the three words used so triumphantly by Tony Blair before he was made prime minister: education. education. education. Most of us would. of course. define that very differently to him.
1 We cannot have the medical services we so desperately need for our own developed countries it medical education isn't provided: urgently.
2 We cannot have a science-based economy — let alone the sciences needed across the board — if science in schools is in the parlous state that independent scientific bodies tell us it
3 The arts cannot. in school and from then onwards. provide the well- rounded individuals that society has to have as a base on which to build unless music and art education is back On the nation's agenda: big time.
This is for our own developed state: multiply that 550 times for the less developed countries round the world and the save of the problem begins to emerge. A better place? Practising what we preach would be a good starter: especially for the prime minister. I hope to live to see it come about.
Them and Us: Scottish Political Song. the Hub. Castle/7W, 473 2000, 73—30 Aug, 70.30am, C72.
1 Someone in power who actually knew and cared
about the answer to that question.
2 More head.
3 That'll do nicely thank you. I wouldn't want to push my luck.
The Thinking Man '3 Idiot, Pleasance. the Pleasance, 556 6550. 37 Jul—2 Aug. 77pm, £5; 3—26 Aug, 77pm, 29—1? 70 (£8—EQ).
[MI I. "twp:
AlanDavies You start thinking in negatives. Instead of trying to think about what you'd add to the world. it‘s all about what
you'd take away:
1 Industrial farming.
3 Self-awareness in most human beings.
What I would say to people if you want to really do something in your life. I'd advocate psychotherapy. vegetarianism and a healthy aversion to magazines. Psychotherapy is a fascincating way of understanding yourself. your thoughts. feelings and
Omid Dialill gives the thumbs-up for a nanny state
emotions and your past. I highly recommend it. It should be on the National Health. You should be able to go when you're at school: half an hour a week.
Aunty and Me, Assembly Rooms. George Street. 226 2428. 6—26 Aug, 4pm, 8 7 7-8 72 (E lO—E 7 7). Previews 2—5 Aug, 4pm, £70 (£9).
1 Governggnt funding for a Mary Poppins-type nanny to be available for all those who request it but could not afford it. A fair but firm British governess ensures an excellent start in life.
2 A universal language for everyone to be able to communicate. eradicating prejudices that arise from an inability to communicate and counter feelings of segregation. alienation and a desire to punch people on European beaches. Suggested language: German.
3 Something that would stop chocolate from being fattening. Then I would be able to eat myself into oinVion Without fear of putting on weight.
On iid D/a/i/i Behind Enemy l.i/ ies. Pleasance. the Pleasance. use (5550. (5 ~26 Aug, /'.3()pni. f‘lt)——.l.‘l l
(LU-5‘10). Prewews 4 & :5 Aug. 5.25; O/nid U/a/ili at the Queen '5 Hall, Clerk Street. 668 20/9. 23 8 24 Aug. 70.30pm, ffll (PTO).