The Front


CATI-IIE aovo, ’7 artistic director / of Theatre Cryptic, picks lit..." the islands she loves for research, holiday or escape.

1 Isle de Ponza, Italy A very small but idyllic paradise filled with Italians and completely unspoilt by tourism. Not one McDonald's in sight. Just one how by train from Rome to Anzio then take a ferry.

2 lslay, Scotland Where I discovered Ardbeg whisky. Perfect not only for the whisky drinker but beaches to die for and inspire creative thinking.

3 Los Roques, Venezuela You can visit a different small island each day by boat and soak up the sun. white sands. coral reefs and great fish. And not a phone or car in sight.

4 Arran, Scotland 90 minutes by car from Glasgow and the perfect place to switch off. Beautiful scenery and many swimming opportunities. especially at Kildonan Bay.

5 Emerald Isle, Ireland How c0uld I forget my home island? Great food and drink. breathtaking views. I particularly love it around the south coast near Skibereen.

MARK MACKIE, director of g, Regular Music, checks his ticket stubs and chooses his top five gigs of the past 12 " months.

1 Brian Wilson Amazing gigs in Glasgow and Edinburgh. He blew my mind.

2 Yeah Yeah Yeahs Part of the South by South West music festival in Austin. Texas. They were brilliant and great fun.

3 Pete Yorn His album. Music for the Morning After is one of my favourites of last year. and live at the 13th Note he was even better.

4 Eminem At Gig on the Green last year. He turned out to be such a nice guy and loved Glasgow.

5 Prodigy I saw them in Belgium last week. and they were stunning. Can't wait to see them at Gig on the Green in August.

:;"’,‘:,zit,l, r,o:;l "amt '3 been (i!

1?“: fpl":


This year marks the 56th Fringe festival and some of you probably can’t be arsed with it.

Why not spend the month of August trying these 56 alternative pursuits...

I Take full advantage of Glasgow's tetirist and street performer- free shopping

I Get a cat, make it ill and take it to the vet on a daily basis

I Get into crack cocauk2

I Combine that with whores

I Pretend the festival's not happening. If anyone asks you questions or directions for any events. Just act bemused and pretend you don't know what they are on about. Say ‘what festival’?‘ a lot

I Start selling ‘Edinburgh is mocket’ t-shirts. Watch the money roll in

I Throw a party in yOur house with no comedians. no iiiLiSiCians. no actors and definitely no street performers present

3 Practice doing hand brake turns and ‘donuts’ in your supermarket carpark

I Get a tattoo of a piper rather than get a piper at the Tattoo

I Try and survive the month without saying the ‘f’ word

I Go to the Phoenix on Broughton Street and drink yourself stupid

I Get into jail

I Get Out alive (of the above two)

I Go around holding up scorecards to all those ‘playing’ bagpipes around the city

I Go to a paper recycling dump and deposit the numerous flyers you will have acguired in an effiCIent. ecological manner. Sleep with a clear consolence

I See how many Tunnocks Tea Cakes you can get in your mouth in the City Cafe (we tried this and were promptly removed from the premises)

I Go on a day trip to Dumbiedykes

estate (or Dumbie— (2ill(2k8-\‘.’lth-dleS. as we like to call itl

ll Rebuild those bridges with your parents

I Get immediately out of Scotland to a place where they have this stuff called sunlight

I Give that unfinished copy of Ulysses or War and Peace just another try

I Visit London. there’s plenty room as all their local comedians and actors are up here

I Learn an instrument or perfect an act, so you too can impress at next year’s festival

I Rent out your flat to a group of unaSSuniing drama students. Watch the money roll in

I Stand on North Bridge in a shellsuit shouting at people for directions to Shettleston

I Make new friends at Hooters bar in the 'pubic triangle'

I Really get into gardening

I Teach yOur dog to hold your mobile phone and place it on the High Street. Watch the money roll in

I Watch the Big Brother 3 (uncut) video to witness real performing animals

I Visit a library

I Go and live in a tent up in the Highlands (take midge repellent)

I Read three broadsheet newspapers a day. but not those pesky festival sections

Christopher Sit/(Jeri!

It's; brilliant. (Bood ittll‘OSDiltflt}. l ots of people want to take our photo.

I Work in The List’s Glasgow office where peace, calm and sanity prevail

I Go and enjoy Wales

I Get drunk then try and assemble some fIatpack furniture

I Go and enjoy whales

I Reorganise your record collection not alphabetically but biographically

I Offer to look after your friends' young children, give them guitars. call it improv-jazz. stick them in Festival Square. hold out a hat. Watch the money roll in

I Become a cybergeek and make new friends that are totally unconnected to the festival

I Get ready for the next football season

I Visit a bar where you can enjoy a pint that isn’t being served by a ‘chirpy’ Australian backpacker

I Go to Portobello beach and have a paddle in the rain

I Start an ‘anti- Edinburgh festivals’ society

I Go to Inverleith pond and fish for sticklebacks with a net. put them in a jar and take them home

I Get into bondage. Watch the money roll in

I Find out just how weird you look without eyebrows

I Move to Penrith

I Build your own website

I Don’t rush to get that last train home from ’weeg

I Write that novel you know is in you

I Go for a daily trim at Tip Top Tresses on Leith Walk

I Get into papier mache

I Get into massage parlours

I Combine the previous two

I Find out the difference between sun- blush and sun- dried tomatoes

I Buy enough food supplies for a month. make Sure that yOur newspapers and milk are delivered and don't leave the house until early September

I Sleep. Loads

Michael Student

think it's rnental. We're here to see Oasis and Staisailoi,