Clubs" '

I Streaker at Shack. lt).3t)pm 3.30am. £5 (£3). Weekly. 1)] James ‘the lioy‘ (iardner spins the tracks l‘or those enjoying immature antiex and naked tun. This sounds like a good lattgh. eh‘.’

I Sunday Surgery at (‘uhe

I lptn 3am. £5 (£3). Weekly. (‘ameron ('raig dispenses some \alye l'or your soul in this diyerting \\ inder-doyy ner \y itlt a medieal thetue.

I Sunday Best at the Shed.

10.30pm 3am. £3 (£3). Weekly. The Right Reverend Jim l)a Best (Hype. Cube) plays \yhateyer the hell he \Hltllx eaeh attd eyery \ahbath tor the ltuttgm er

I Hard Wired at Barfly (formerly the l3th .\’ote ('luh). 9pm 3am. l‘ree. Weekly. .\ night so roekin' it “I” hay e Kurt wishing he hadn't been qttite St) rash. Happily a\'oiding 35-year-old\ in shorts with a sketchy knoyyledge ol‘ rap (no nu tnetal) and l.'()real-ahu.\ing poodlerx. Hard Wired \in| play tunes l'rom left of the tniddle big hitters \ueh as Wee/er. lioo l-‘ighters. Red Hot ('hili Peppers and Hundred Reasons in the downstairs area.

I Transistor at the Polo Lounge.

1 lptti 3am. £5. Weekly. Real pop l'or real people with [Us .\'iall .\te.\lurray arid Wayne Dixon.

Glasgow Mondays


I Salsa Vida at llayana. £4. Weekly. Feel the rhythtn. This is a relaxed and friendly salsa class (\y ith teaeher Andy


I Ad-Lib l l I Hope Street. 34S ()(345. I Air Organic 36 Kely ittgt'oy‘e Street. 56-1 5301.

I Alaska 143 Bath Lane. 343 1777. I Archaos 35 Queen Street. 304 3lS‘).

I The Arches Midland Street (on Jamaica Street). ()‘)()I ()33 0300.

I Asylum 7t) (‘oyyeaddens Road. 333 068 l.

I Babaza 35 Royal lixehange Square. 30-1 (lltll.

I Bennet’s Sl) (ilztsxltu'd Street. 5.53 576].

I Blacktriars 2(» Bell Street. 552 593-1.

I Bonkers ()7 Hope St. 348 538-1.

.: . (y y.

Baird) tor those \\ ixhing to dip their lttex in the salsa water.

I Cul De Sac at ('ttl l)e Sae.

()pm midnight. l-‘ree. Weekly. Wateh yott don't bttrn your lingers on Dr l’aul'x Qui/ ol' l‘ire.


I Burn at .\l.-\S. I lpm 3am. l‘ree tor \tal'l‘ of any pttb or elub: £3 to eyeryone else. Weekly. l).l\ Norman and Zeus preside oy er the biggest and longest running stall night ottt in history. l-‘reedom lor the \yorkerx.

Glasgow Tuesdays


I Colin Davie at Spy Bar.

9pm midnight. l-‘ree. Weekly. (’olin l)a\'ie does his thang. deliyering some quality house grooy ex and \y hatey er the hell he leelS like.

I Rueda de Casino at (‘ttha \orte. 7.30pm midnight. £4. Weekly. ll last- moy ing (‘uban street daneing is your thing. then not only are yott an intriguing human being. bttt you should also drop itt lor this night. Dance ltt\tl‘ltel()l'\ are l'rom the .-\eademia de Salsa. so you're in Sale. Seyy hands.


I Fool’s Gold at .\l.-\S. llpttt 3am. £4 (£3). Weekly. Mod and lunk in the light room is eomplemented by indie classiex in the baek. ('laxxie lormula in nice Surroundings.

I FUN at ('ube. l |.3()pm 3am. l'ree.

I Brel 3‘) Ashton l.ane. .3-13 4‘)()().

I Budda I42 St \‘itteent Street. 22l 5()()(l.

I The Cathouse l5 l'nion Street. 348 ()(illl).

I CCA 350 Sauehiehall Street. 353 Not).

I The Gran HHS .-\rgyle Street. 34S (iSS l.

I Cuba Norte )7 John Street. 42‘) .3S4S.

I Cube .34 Queen Street. 336 SW)“. I Cul De Sac :\\llt()n Lane. .334 SSUU.

I Eat Drink Man Woman 34 -14 King St. 553 0337.

I Fury Murry’s ()(i .\la\\\ ell Street. 33l o5l l.

I The Garage 4m) Sattehiehall Street. 333 ll2().

I Glasgow School of Art It»? Renl'reyy Street. .353 00‘”.

I Glasgow University Union 32 l'niyerxity .-\\enue. 33‘) SN)?

I The Griffiny 3()() Bath Street. 53‘) S007.

I Groucho St Judes I()() Bath

Weekly. Satne ereyy as the Hon night. really. bill that doesn't mean a let-up in the era/mess. Shayy n and (ieot‘gy -ho_\ man the decks.

I Juicy Tuesdays at the \elyet Roomx.l lptn 3am. £4 (tree). Weekly. Billy Milligan spins Student elaxxiex iii the tlpxltllt'S suite \yhile Seott .\le.\lillan plays Rtkli and hip hop in the doy‘.tt\tait'\ lounge.



I Fluid at the Polo Lounge.

ltlptn lam. l‘ree. Weekly. 1).! Wayne l)i\on mi\e\ up classic l'unk. \Utll and diseo \\ ith a dash ol~ eontemporary tuneage. and there are hall-price eoektailx to make Sure things go \\ ith a wing.

I Mark Robb at the (ill de Sae.

()pm midnight. liree. Weekly. .\lark Robb ol' Hull (‘lub lame proy ides the retro Milk and \()tll grooyeS to the West llnd massiy e.

I TMA at Baehux. Spm Iain. l‘ree. Basement beats and eleetro l'rom 1).] real (Mad Dog). .\latt (Keep on Keeping ()n) attd 'I‘y eho (li\ e ).


I Bennet’s at Bennet‘x.

ll.3t)pm 3am. £3.5tl (£l.5(l). Weekly. Sara takes eontrol onee more in the elttb lamoux l'or madness and an. ahem. liberal ehat tip poliey.

I Elastik at liarlly (lorttiet‘ly the l3lh .\'ote (‘lub). llpm 3am. £3. Weekly. 1)]

Street. 33! 517l.

I 92 474 Sauehiehall St (behind the (image). 35.3 3| l l.

I Havana 5() Hope Street. 34S -l4(i(). I Life (basement ol' (‘orinthianL

l‘)| Ingram Street. 553 Hill.

I The Lighthouse St» .\litehell Street. 221 p.102

I The Living Room 5 liyt'eS Road. 33‘) S51 l.

I MAS 3‘) Royal li\ehange Square. 33l 70S”.

I The Medicine Room 30-32 ('athedral Square. 553 35W.

I MOIOCO l3S7 .-\I'y_'_\ le Street. 3.3-1 4813.

I Nice ‘n’ Sleazy 42) Sattehieltall Street. 5.33 9037

I O’Henry’s l4 l)rury Street. 34S 3751.

I Pivo Pivo, l5 Waterloo Street. 5()-l S l(l(l

I Polo Lounge S-l \\'ilwn Street. 553 l33l.

I Queen Margaret Student Union 33 l'ni\er\ity (iardenx. 33‘) 9784.


) )

and Tunnocks tea cakes...


‘Wim Jansen - Dancin'

listings Clubs

()na (aka .v\manda trotn His) and DJ Mingo-go. take o\ er the mttxieal \eleetion tor the lorexeeable luture \yhile S03 takes a break to eoneentrate on other things. lnieeting some mueh needed oestrogen into the “mid ol’ l).ling and playing some damn line eleetro mi\ed ittto a randomly selected \()tltltl\etltle.

I FAB at Baba/a. llpm 3am. i‘ree belore l lpm; £--l (£3) alter. Weekly. l).l Skttd blends garage. Rtkll and l'unky house. playing to a dressed up eroyyd “lltl help 10 “Nike lltl\ Utle Hi the l‘tlxieSt midyyeek nights in (il‘.t\g()\\.

I Joints and Jams at (‘ulte

llptt) 3am. £3 (£3). Weekly. In the baek rootu llarry ll and llrian l present Loungin‘. a \eleetion ol ltmk} tracks aitd laid baek tunes. \yhile in the titaiti room. a rotating t'oxtel’ ol I).l\ supply Rtkll. hip hop and \()tll.

I The Jumpin’ l-lot Rhythm and Blues Club at the \elyet Rootiix.

0pm lam. £3 (£3). Weekly. New night ol li\e muxie \yith a resident band playing Rtkli. \yy ing. and l);t\le;tll_\ anythang

\\ ith a grooye.

I People Music at .\l.v\S.

llptn 3am. £1 (£3). Weekly. New night (it hip hop and house lrom t\\() ol the better underground (ilaxgoyy boy \. \liehael Peck and tom Ree\ e raek them tip and knock them doyy n. (ireat tor a Wed.

I Shackass at Shack.

ll).3()pm 3.3tlam. £5 (£3). Weekly. The. er. inimitable l)_l toast \pin\ the linext in chart elasxiex. “ith a healthy smattering

()l eltet‘Se :tl\().

I Beds. 375 Sattehiehall Street. 33l l(i35.

I Riverside Club lm Street. 50)) “‘S".

I Rocksy’s Basement .l() \e\\ Sneddon Street. l’aixley. 553 53%.

I The Shack I03 Pitt St. 332 "522. I Soba ll .\litehell Stteet lane. 2H1 Not.

I Soundhaus l" llytlepark Street. 33l 405‘).

I Spy Bar 133 Bath Street. 22) “I I. I Tchai-Ovna ~13 ()tago lane. 35~ 4524.

I Tempus (‘(‘.\. 35o Satteltiehall Street. See :tl\()\ e.

I Note 3(ill (‘lytle Street. 33.3 21".“

I The Tunnel S-l .\lttelte|l Street. 2H1 I()()().

I Variety Bar vrllllSatlellleltdll Street. 332 J-llt).

I The Velvet Rooms 52() Sattehiehall Street. 3 33 ()"55.

I The Woodside Social Club 32‘) \(ll‘llt \\()t)tl\ltle l\)();ttl. .35- 104.3.

I Yang 33 Queen Street. 3-lS S-tSl.

We were on a paranoid modern day crusade - of that there was no doubt. Soap Dodge City is the dark heart of a dark country. The ship yards have all gone replaced by sprawling call centre whorehouses staffed by malnourished youths and mid-lifers who should know better. My attorney Dr Twitch and I have not come for the job market though - thank God, we are here for the Wim Jansen.

Every city in the world has bars which think they are nightclubs. Glasgow has bars, restaurants, theatres, an art school and even a static ferrry that are all convinced they are nightclubs. Repetitive beats ooze out of every putrid pore of this post-industrial hangover of a city. Before we can even check into our hotel, Dr Twitch demands we make our scene at the premier game of chance in town.

Carlton Bingo on Dumbarton Road is just like any other private members club on a Saturday night - exclusive, refined and less than welcoming to a giant Samoan attorney crazed on Mad Dog, jellies