THE INSIDER Who’s getting up to what

More crackers and cheese

I Woof woof! Pass the Wensledale. Seven years after the last Wallace and Gromit film. 1995's A Close Shave, Nick Park and Aardman studio's best known creations appear in Cracking Contraptions. ten new animations being

premiered on the internet.

Gromit braves the Soccamatic

The first short film. Soccamatic. is already available to watch and download from BBC News Online ( wallaceandgromit) and AtomShockwave (wwwatomshockwavecomr). The nine further films. including such tantalising titles as The Snomanatron. The Snoozatron and The 525 Crackervac. will be broadcast on the 8808 site over the course of the autumn, or, if you can't wait. the lot is available via subscription at AtomShockwave. while for those with patience Cracking Contraptions will eventually be released on video and DVD.

I Insider was planning to escape Scotland's increasingly harsh weather conditions with a trip down under to sunny Australia. and so was interested to hear that Garbage singer Shirley Manson (and that's Garbage singer. not garbage singer) has put out a rallying cry to female musicians everywhere after finding out she was the only woman on the bill of a tOuring Aussie festival. Having appeared alongside Midnight Oil, Billy Idol. Lifehouse. Nickelback. the Tea Party. Goo Goo Dolls and Default no women there Manson was prompted to write a message to fans on the Garbage website: ‘Now what the fuck is that all about?‘ she says. ‘C'mon girls. get a fucking grip!!! Pick up the microphone. Grab a guitar. Be loud. Make a noise. Kick it up a notch and do it now. Your country needs you!!! There is SOME movement out there. thank God.‘ Manson continued. 'Sleater Kinney. the Donnas. the Distillers. Peaches etc. but it's all pretty much underneath the radar and just not happening fast enough for my tastes.’

I Insider was momentarin distracted by thoughts of a December-time barbie on Bondi beach by the spotting of all

four members of the electro rock‘n‘roll explosion that is the Beta Band among the heaving throng witness to the childlike godliness of the Polyphonic Spree at Edinburgh's Queen's Hall. Insider overheard one of the throng note that the band were 'actually shorter than you‘d imagine‘.

I Surprising shortness of stature was a recurring topic of conversation during Barry Norman's recent appearance at Edinburgh‘s Cameo cinema. where the famous film critic was promoting his book of memoirs And Why Not? Norman. who proved himself to be bigger than you'd think (being a fine raconteur in the flesh), regaled a fascinated audience with tales of famous film stars who were anything but statuesque in person during interviews. Robert De Him. for instance. was according to Norman. a monOSyIIabic Stllk. Richard Burton was a drunk (well. we all know that). but also a drunk who couldn‘t take his drink . . . and not be unfaithful to his wife and gave appalling interviews. But Insider's fav0urite st0ry was Norman's recounting of the time he met John Wayne and got into an argument about the ongoing war in Vietnam with the notoriOusly right-wing actor. which

prompted the ‘Duke' to call the critic a ‘Goddamn pinko liberal faggot'. That coming from a battered husband who was born With the moniker Marion Morrison.

I Not everything yOu read in this

column is true. Last issue. for example.

Insider suggested The List receives an average of 7632 press releases every Monday morning (not true). ‘Nevertheless.’ continued the column. “it takes something special to make one jump to the top of the pile. All hail Scottish stand-up Jerry Sadowitz. therefore. who romps home with The List's annual Lifetime Achievement Award for the Best Opening Line in a Press Release Ever. That was ‘Jerry Sadowitz is a cunt'. While it might be true that Mr Sadownz does indeed bare a striking resemblance to a woman's private parts (but what does Insider know?) ‘Jerry Sadowitz is a cunt is. in fact. not the Best Opening Line in a Press Release Ever. Furthermore. that award does not exist. Please take note promoters of Mr SadOWitz who phoned up The List to inguire about the presentation of the award there isn't one. therefore there will be no presentation. Now. where is Insider's Hawaiian shirt . . ’2

The Front

‘Sam says I have the viewpoint of a five-year-old; I

THE QUOTES think she meant it

as a compliment.’

Lynne Ramsay on her Morvern Cal/ar star Samantha Merton.

‘lt’s weird how you can wipe out half of Brooklyn or Somalia and kill thousands of people and it’s no big deal. But you slap a woman and everyone’s outraged.’ Guy Ritchie slags ofl audiences who got upset about the violence in Swept Away, the movie starring his missus. Madonna.

‘If only I had known what that felt like when l was writing all my books.’ Tipping the Velvet author Sarah Waters on how it feels to wear a corset.

‘I sometimes describe my stand-up as the longest suicide note ever written.’ Jerry Sadowitz. controversial comedian and winner of The List award for Best Opening Line in a Press Release E ver.

‘I never make a film for my career.’

Danny Boyle. director of Shallow Grave. Trainspotting and now 28 Days Later.

‘One reason we’d never split up is that if you’re married more than once, who are you going to be buried with?’

Tom Jones on why he Will never divorce his wife.

‘I hope to avoid the Paul McCartney thing of doing it years after you have nothing left to say.’

Booker Prize winner Yann Matte/l (T he Life Of Pi) on whether or not he wants to continue being a writer.

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Lil ()(Tl l-I N0). 90;)? THE LIST 9