new rock'n'roll then David Starkey v Simon Schama is its OaSis v Blur. its Beatles v Stones and its Gordon Ramsay v Nick Nairn all rolled into one.

So who d'ya think would win a bare- knuCkle fisttight? Starkey's got the weight and reach advantage. but Schama looks like a wiry wee radge. and probably fights dirty. As far as this dOCumentary goes though it's a Starkey job and it's pretty boring cos it's ab0ut a king and a queen you've never heard of. there are no wars. plagues or incestuous romps in it. and there's only one beheading. The new rock'n'roll my arse. (Doug Johnstonei

COMEDY

FIFTEEN STOREYS HIGH BBC Choice, Thu 7 Nov, 10.30pm 000

Sean Lock iS the latest Successful stand-up to make a bid for small screen stardom. and it's testament to how badly his recent predecessors have done that one of the key emotions you feel while \.vatching the first episode of Fifteen Storeys High is relief that it isn't absolute shite.

Lock plays Vince. a swimming pool attendant who lives in a tower block somewhere in one of London's less glamorous neighbourhoods. Vince's new flatmate is called Errol iBennedict Wong). and the pair are soon clashing over the contrast on their TV and whose loyalty card to use.

Vince is a man who spends most of his life telling other people's stories with himself recast in the title iole. which doesn't make him the most taxnig character for a stand up to play. Lock doesn't do a bad Job. and while Fifteen Stoievs High is rarely laugh-out load funny, it has an intelligent. surreal edge that many of its rivals could do with emulating. (James Sinarti

Hayman.

See Goods, page 109, for highlights of The Osbournes and Gay, page 79, for The Sucker Punch starring David

internet & tv.

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Steve Coogan abandoned his richest comic creation Alan Partridge at the height of his grim glory. Despite his recent foray into films, Coogan has never really recaptured the success of the mean-spirited sports reporter turned ‘sports casual’ chat show host turned plain-spoken local radio DJ. Anyone remember lusty Latin crooner Tony Ferrino?

Having fallen on hard times and suffered a nervous breakdown, a bloated Alan is now busily crawling his way back up the lower rungs of the showbiz ladder. He hosts the third best show on Radio Norwich (‘Hot Topics’ include ‘Who is the best Lord? Rings, Dance or Flies’) presents a selection of adult videos and has written the inevitable book Bouncing Back. His motley entourage has been whittled down to devoted PA Lynne, permanently stranded on the receiving end of Alan’s most vicious barbs and put downs. Alan has some big ideas but, as ever, these get kicked into touch by his vanity, runaway mouth and boundless misanthropy.

There’s still a twisted pleasure to be derived from Alan’s petty machismo and buttock clenchingly embarrassing lack of social graces, such as when the presenter gives a careers talk at his alma mater. But so much of the Partridge cringe-factor has now been usurped by The Office’s charmless David Brent, which leaves Coogan’s decision to resurrect his character looking a bit opportunistic. And you know a programme’s running out of ideas when it starts relying on prosthetics and body padding for much of its impact. (Allan Radcliffe)

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