The Front

4 THE INSIDER Who’s getting up to what

Never mind the Hogwarts

I The London press launch for Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was a multicultural affair, with hacks flown in from all over. Temperatures were raised when the man from Israel asked Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson what miracle they would wish for his teenage readers in their ‘difficult situation' back home. Fearing headlines along the lines of 'Harry backs suicide bombers', the chairman made a swift intervention. But he was no match for the Japanese contingent who were obsessed by one thing: ‘Now you are movie stars. how is your love live?‘ chirped one. ‘Who do you think your character would choose in the movie and who would you choose in real life?’ said another. The poor kids, two of them not yet teenagers, could only squirm in embarrassment. Radcliffe, though, earned bonus credibility points for declaring a passion for punk rock. 'I just like the attitude,’ he said, with not so much as a snarled lip. ‘My favourite bands are the Sex Pistols. the Damned. the Stranglers, the Undertones. the Clash. the Jam . . .'

I Come in Houston, the ego has landed. And it's Iandedin Bath Street. Glasgow. That's where the shy and retiring Kelly Cooper Barr has opened the Kelly Cooper Bar (now where've we heard that name before?) Naturally, the only way to get into the launch party was by wearing one of these modest little badges. But don't worry. peeps. the ordinary badgeless folk are now welcome in a bar that Kelly claims is “comfortable, sensual and exciting'. And surely nothing can be more exciting than the promise of ‘sexy snacks’ served up in John Quigley's kitchen. What could they be?


I With Harry Potter mania mounting, we rubbed shoulders with JK Rowling at a Hallowe'en ball at Stirling Castle where an auction raised £275,000 for the Multiple Sclerosis Society Scotland. A real life

golden snitch went for £50,000 and a walk-on part in the next movie fetched £10,000. Our wallet, we confess.

stayed closed. Rowling - on fine, self- deprecating comic form - made a dig at master of ceremonies Ian Hislop for referring to her in Private Eye as ‘JK Rowling in it'. For his part, Hislop praised the audience for choosing an evening of live entertainment. This was. after all, the night of the first episode of Have / Got News for You without Angus Deayton.

I We love the way Glasgay is billed as a festival for multi-sexual people ‘and their friends'. It's just so cuddly and inclusive unless. of course. you don't know any multi-sexual people. We‘re not sure how many of them there are, but one such is almost certainly Annie Sprinkle, the porn star and performance artist who, accompanied by her girlfriend Beth, launched Glasgay by cutting a ribbon in orgasmic style (lots of moans and groans) at the Tron Theatre. She then encouraged everybody (and their friends) to take a piece of the ribbon for use as a blindfold or wrist restraint. She also presented Glasgay director David Leddy with one of her Aphrodite awards for sexual service to

the community. As Leddy

pointed out, he had

I A); actually provided a lot

of sexual services

. even before


I Music is the new maths. Hardly had we got over the conundrum of the slimmed down Lambchop ‘quartet' that will feature five members (coming to Edinburgh's Queen's Hall in December), than we went down to Glasgow's King Tut's to see Bright Eyes. Recalling the heady days of James in their pre-fame prime, the 1 1 members insisted on changing instruments every song (the flute player was also mighty fine on the drums). Whipping out our log tables, we awarded them a probability rating of -87.26 and a wind chill factor of 32%. That‘s a score only exceeded by the Polyphonic Spree and thier 27 members in matching white robes.

I The nominations have been made for this year's BAFTA Scotland Now Talent Awards. Among those hoping for a prize at a swanky award ceremony in Glasgow at the end of the month are the following: Michelle Gomez, Rory McGann, Jim Muir (aka Reverend Obadiah Steppenwolfe Ill) and Stephen Purden for best television performance; Martin Compston, Kenny Glenaan and William Ruane for best actor in a feature film; and Anne Marie Fulton and Kathleen McDermott for best actress in a feature film. The best feature film will be a fight between Gas Attack and Late Night Shopping.

‘Ti esrever dna ti pilf, nwod gniht ym tup l.’

Missy Elliot rapping


sing/e ‘Work lt'. It

actually makes as much sense forwards.

‘I look at him sometimes and think he’s married his mother.’

Amber Leighton, Guy Ritchie ’s jealous ma.

‘She spelt nob wrong; it should have a “k” at the

3 front.’

Porn star Ben Dover (get it?) dissects Fiona Banner ’3 controversial Turner Prize entry (get it?).

‘He was like Roy Keane; the red mist would descend. We cannot have someone being aggressive with knives and hot water.’

A spokesman tel/s why one of Jamie Oliver's Channel 4 pupils was kicked off the course and sent to anger management therapy.

‘Don’t be afraid to sing out loud.’

Mariah Carey passes on some sound advice to the Fame Academy wannabes.

‘Twiglets, but not the curried flavour, only the original. And proper long ones, I don’t want any of these short ones.’

David Gray reveals his main demand for the tour bus.

‘I’m so bored with myself.’ Elizabeth Hurley joins the club.

‘I can’t throw up on my own and Ozzy can’t get drunk on his own.’

Sharon Osbourne bemoans the 'intrusion' of cameras in her lovely home.

Sick of being spied on

14-28 NOV 2002 THE LIST 7