Not pressed. but punched. for the only emotion LOT/3?: FOTR produces is anger. Yes. angry that a classic has been bungled. Yes. angry that you have wasted a few hours and a few tenners. But mainly you are angry that something so bad has made you question your own understanding of the world. Shame on you, Vivendi.


BMX XXX (Acclaim $339.99) 0..

Once in a while a game comes along that beggars belief. BMX XXX is one such game. To claim that it was a cheap and Cynical attempt to grab a few sales courtesy of a few titty shots w0u|d be to miss the mark. Th0ugh admittedly not by much. There is a half-decent BMX biking game in here somewhere. Small incentives really do make you want to improve and the chance completely to customise your riders also makes this feel like a proper game. The streets and clubs are full of trick- initiating furniture and. though far from cutting edge. graphically it is none too shabby.

But there is no getting away from the fact that this is gratuitOus. salacious. titillating nonsense that Will flourish in the gaming world of sweaty teenage boys. Not a cool market to aim for but they've certainly hit it With Bil/7X XXX. (lain DaVidson)


STAR VALUE entertainment/t4/

Always wanted to own shares in Holly Valance? Think Eminem's market value is due to fall? No more will you have to turn reluctantly to the buSiness section of the paper, as now you can invest virtual money and predict how the Success of your star is based on the amount of SOClal gatherings they attend Or singles they release.

TABLE MANNERS misc/insectsasfood. html

Can't be bothered to take yOur turn and cook a meal for a table of hungry friends? One simple solution would be to give them a preview of the menu beforehand. Casually drop the new cooking skills yOu have acquired into conversation over the web and suppress a smirk when you see them sguirm on hearing yOu promise them a deliCiOus worm risotto followed by grasshopper eclairs.

STARE OUT stare/play.html

Remember that game of staring that used to pass away the claserOm hOurs while Mrs Smith prattled away about Mary Queen of Scots and the autumn leaf cycle? Well. this site

ensures you Will always have a playmate to try and out-stare. So take on staring Sally's huge emerald eyes: they could blink now or they c0uld blink in three hours. When will yOu crack?

BEAT THE COMPUTER http://www.smalltime .com/games.html

This is one for peeple that like to think that they can outwn any computer. Pick a sitcom character or a dictator (I haven't made the connection yet. either) and challenge it to the yes/no game. I chose Hitler and got beaten in less than a minute. Apparently it had already thrashed at least 167 Deople with the same uninspired chOice.

GENDER TEST http://test3.thespark .com/gendertest/ gendercgi

- Chaps: do you find

yOurself identifying With Lola from the Kinks song? Here's an objective test to tell you once and for all whether to buy more pink fluffy tops or lower yOur voice another octave. Questions naturally include: ‘What is your preferred method of dying'?‘ (Sally Munro)


HORROR THE EYE (15) 99min ooo

Regaining your sight isn't all its cracked up to be for blind Violinist Wong Kar Mun (Lee Slll~ Jie) in this atmospheric chiller directed by Danny and OXide Pang (Bangkok Dangerous). First she gets booted Out of the blind orchestra she plays in. then she discovers that the corneas donated for her operation allow her to see dead people and



.- g _

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When street sport activity was radical

In this age when sportswear companies will do anything (short of paying their third world labourers a decent wage) to ensure that we the consumers are living their dream, it is impossible to imagine a time when any street-sport activity could have been the slightest bit radical. But once it was: that time was the mid 19705 and the place was Dogtown, a decrepit, once fashionable beach resort on the Californian coast.

It all started with a crazy surf board designer called Jeff Ho. His shop became a focal point for the young and disenfranchised young dudes that stalked the area. Soon they set up their own roughousin’ surf team, but the tides were only powerful enough in the mornings so the boys had the whole of the day to piss around. They started skateboarding to pass the time. Instead of taking their moves from the older, traditional skaters they lifted the moves of the great Australian and New Zealand surfers. These kids were dangerous hooligans in the world of competition skateboarding, lowlifes who touched the tarmac. They were the Zephyr skating team, and millions of kids worldwide followed their adventures through Skateboarder

magazine throughout the tail end of the 70s.

This self aggrandising documentary is a lot of fun. Dogtown veteran and the film’s director Stacy Peralta does a great job of accumulating all his old Super 8 footage and photos and creating a semblance of a cultural history lesson out of them. Old Skateboarder hack and the film’s editor Craig Stecyk gives Sean Penn’s laid back narration a real sense of time and place, but the film ultimately belongs to the past heroes of the gleaming cubes, now a sun-kissed cross section of convicts and millionaires.

(Paul Dale)

I Avm/rrh/e on VHS and DVD /'(?/lf(l/ and retail through Columbia TrI'Star from Mon

I3 Jan.


predict their grisly


Like other Asian horror movies (the Ring trilogy. Dark Water) The Eye creates a strong sense of unease. with its edgy camerawork capturing a gallery of living dead. Sadly, a lack of hair- raising horror and the familiarity of both the style and the storylines make for an underwhelming film. (Metro Tartan VHS and DVD rental and retail) (Catherine Bromley)

-tf3 Jan 2003 THE LIST 85