A child's party. Bearsden.

"Now children, as a Special Surprise..."

THE INSIDER Who’s getting up to what GLASGOW FABULOUS

parcel."

Harn' birthday to you I One year ago. Glasgow Fabulous had its first comic strip published in The List (above). Since that time. creators Michael Collin and Daniel Jackson have generated belly laughs and belly aches in equal measure with their scathingly satirical look at Scotland's club scene, which revealed many a DJ to be lacking a sense of humour. The boys‘ first comic book. 2001: A Jakey Odyssey (published by Unblokt'd Press). was a sell out success. Capitalising on the strip‘s popularity. Collin and Jackson are this March releasing Glasgow Fabu/0us: The Annual 2002/03. a bumper 44-page book (available at Fopp and Borders. cover price 23) containing every strip printed in The List. previously internet-only strips and all new, full colour Glas Fab. Furthermore. Insider hears. this summer they'll publish Glasgow Fabulous Present: Harri the Vampire Slayer. the sequel to A Jakey Odyssey. There's also a chance of T-shirts and they hope to have the first issue of a four part series out by the end of the year. Lastly. Collin plans to restage the Art of Glasgow Fabulous exhibition in both Glasgow and Edinburgh. Long may Glasgow Fabulous continue to amuse and infuriate.

I Insider sees from the trusted tabloid headlines that another naughty boy from the west coast (see also Master Collin and Master Jackson above) has gone and got himself in trouble. List cover star Martin Compston. Ken Loach's find for his Greenock'n'Glasgow-set drama. Sweet Sixteen. was recently arrested by the police in his home town for a breach of the peace. Said breach. eagerly reported The Daily Record. involved a high spirited Compston verbally abusing staff at an all night garage. According to the press repOrts, Martin's mates were on hand to confirm that the antics at the garage were just one example of fame going to the lads head. With friends like those and the tabloids on y0ur case. what rising young film star needs enemies?

I Talking of enemies. looks like MTV US has made one in MTV India. Those naughty Stateside pranksters have had the cheek to air a new cartoon which features various characters from ‘The World of HistOry'. of which MTV India took exception to the depiction of Mahatma Gandhi wearing ear- rings. Seems something of an overreaction (but then Insider knows as much about India as George W Buah knew about Afghanistan and knows about Iraq). And talking of Dubya. would some enterprising young animators please satirise him. How about George sponing a Hitler- style 'tache? Or the one ring to rule them all? Hell. even a black eye patch

w0uld do. Then all the stupid people who are thinking the president of the United States is waging war on terrorism and not for oil and economic gain w0uld see the warmonger for what he is.

I Here's | something you . 3 can try at home.

or maybe in the workplace. The Ten Second Filma Competition has put a call out for entries. That's right. shoot a ten second digital film and you COuld pick up 521000. If that all seems rather easy. watch out for the various rules imposed by David Wild. competition judge and self-appointed pioneer often second films (which he refers to as the 'midwestern haiku'). For example: 'No recognisable trademarks can appear in y0ur film.‘ Anyway. if that doesn't put yoa off. check out the following website for further information: www.tensecondfilms.com. One final thing: many digital cameras can record up to 30 second wonh of digital video.

I Any budding filmmakers out there wishing to set their sights higher than ten second films. could do w0rse than submit their short films 0r magnum opus to the Edinburgh

STRAIGHT OUTTA COWCADDENS

"The Jengaheads are here to play pass the

"F‘cksakes Mrs. They were djing at Ber last week. Don't you know Claude Young is local now." Copyright 2002 D Jackson M Collin

International Film Festival. But be warned: consideration for inclusion in the prestigious film festival's August programme is a serious matter. and comes with a $325 fee (for shorts) and $90 fee (for features). Deadlines are 17 April for shorts and features and 13 June for Mirrorball music films and British animation. Further into. rules and regs are available at www.edfilmfest.org.uk/ and Withoutab0x.com (the latter giving you a 25 submissions fee discount).

I Anyone see the first episode of Single Scotland? It's a six-parter on BBC Scotland following the quest of eight men and women to go from singledom to getting hitched. We're personally backing three of them David. Jonelle and Karen who took the only sensible option of taking out or responding to adverts in The List. Follow their stories on Monday nights on BBC1. MOre ads from page 1 17.

The Front

‘She’s been wearing baggy clothes for 20

THE QUOTES years, so what

else is new?’

Madonna's spokesperson Liz Rosenberg speaks up for the pOOr dear amid naughty allegations that she's up the duff again.

‘I cussed at a lady named Mary; she wasn’t letting my friend into first class and I said: “Why are you being such a bitch about it?” My daughter always said I had a potty mouth.’

Another troublesome blonde. Courtney Love recalls her moment of air rage at Heathrow airpOrt.

‘In the physical sense, she’s extremely chaste. But she’s characterised as oversexed. She’s deeply misunderstood.’

Ben Affleck defends Jenny from the block '3 besmirched honour.

‘In the meantime, two guys dressed as Arab sheikhs got wind of it and started yelling at us. As we’re driving away, we see the main Nazi guy chasing us followed by his coterie of Arab sheikh Nazis, all shaking their fists. It was like a scene at the end of Scooby Doo.’

TV Producer Dan Mazer relives the moment of terror when Sacha Baron Cohen '3 camp fashion reporter Bruno WOund up white supremacists at a rally In Georgia.

‘Soft, silky and sexy.’

A statement from the Beard Liberation Front declares what they 're looking for in the man who Wll/ ultimately claim their My Hairy Valentine Award. Russell Crowe, George Michael and the new Archbishop of Canterbury are hot contenders.

A soft touch

13—27 Feb 2003 'I’HE LIST 9