1/ 1.; I; LXI. L W» Li. ‘I . ’ v ‘9 a. a." o k _
m The bloke from the Bond ‘ I W 4. movies in some sitcom
Modern life is rubbish
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. Can’t we look forward? “.‘J'orfis: John D McGonagle
op music. TV and children's cartoons. Three of the most disposable
products known to man. second only to toilet paper. nappies and
Betamas videos. So why are so many people trying their best to give them some sort of cultural and historical significance'.’ Look around. Modern life is rubbish. awash with jetsam like TV repeats. retro 'l‘-shirts and club nights specialising in 7()s and 80s music. Frankie might have said ‘Relas'. but if I see another T-shirt featuring T/lt’ 'l'ruiisfiiriiivrs or some other cartoon l think I‘ll scream.
l'm waiting for somebody to tell me about the brand new sitcom on BB(‘I: ‘l'iiii'lrv 'Iiiii'ors! The guy in it looks a bit like the bloke who does the crap bits in the Bum! movies except he's miles funnierl' You can hardly blame 'I‘\' executives for encouraging the trend. When they tire of repeating repeats. they can jtist cobble together some archive clips from the 80s and make a show out of them. It‘s all there — the garish colour. the mess and the ridiculousness. .-\nd tltat’sjust Boy (ieorge’s make up.
Jason [)onavan also invariably makes an appearance to talk about .\'i'ieli/murs and his string of top 1() hits. Luckily he has just about enough hairs left on his head to count them by. It's fair to say that the pop stars of decades past haven't aged particularly well. I can usually tell when these programmes are on because i find my mum hiding behind the sofa. Roll on 2010. so I can watch retrospectives about all these retrospectives.
:\s people get older they invariably begin to romanticise their past. to the point that myopic Mandy (their first ever girlfriend) takes on a rose tinted hue. ‘()h
c‘mon. her glasses weren‘t that thick . . .' Re'readlng Don't these people remember what it was
like to be a teenager? it was hard to get into G t b -
clubs. it was hard to pull girls. and the only a_ s y IS 9'16 job you could get involved working for thlng, bUVIng some fascistic middle manager. .\'o change of
there then. .-\dmittedly. it was easier to get .
drunk. But when was the last time you IS attempted to drink the entire contents of another
your parents' drinks cabinet. washed down
with a litre ofcider‘.’ Don't answer that.
['m not saying that you should never look back and rediscover things that you enjoyed in your formative years. Nevertheless. re-reading The (irvur Gatsby is one thing. while buying the DVD of He-Jlun is another entirel}: Doesn‘t it feel comfortable to be informed'.’ Haven't you ever thought you'd like to erase the part of your brain that knows the lyrics of the entire Wham! back catalogue and replace it with knowledge that might actually be useful'.’
People should stop looking inward and try to learn about something new. experience something different. rather than simply retreating to the things that they enjoyed as children. The magazine that you‘re holding right now might alert you to something fresh happening in your city. today. tonight. tomorrow. So start reading . . .
10 THE LIST 2‘ Set-'3 ‘.'C:' A"
1 Far From Heaven
Film This homage to the 505 melodramas of DOuglas Sirk is cleverly updated and beautifully shot by Todd Haynes. Stars Julianne Moore and the bloke who plays the preSident in 2-1. See preview and review. pages 20 and 21 Selected release.
2 The Sopranos
TV Tony and the Crew return fOr series number four. With more whackings. humpings. betrayals and Ill‘adVlsed JOKES about fat people. Bada bing! Etcetera. Channel 4.
3 LTJ Bukem
Clubs Credited with the invention of ‘intelligent drum & bass‘. Good Looking label boss LTJ and his lyrical partner MC Conrad bring the n0ise. See preView. page 66. OMU. Glasgow.
4 Red Hot Chili Peppers Music They nabbed the Best International Group at the Brits. but having swooped to snap up SECC tickets. their Scots fans don't need telling of the Chilis‘ magnificence. See feature. page 12. SECC. Glasgow.
Film Salma Hayek gets the gig she's lived all her life for as she transforms herself into MeXican artist Frida Kahlo right before our very eyes. See reView, page 23. General release.
Dance Street movement meets contemporary dance in a double bill from Scotland‘s innovative hip hop collective. See review, page 53. Traverse, Edinburgh; MaCRobert. Stirling.
7 Adam Bloom
Comedy The tiny whirlwmd was something of an underachiever at his last Fringe showing in 2001. but we still have faith in his hyperactive mind. See preView. page 61. Stand. Glasgow & Edinburgh.
8 Colours Live!
Clubs The big name house action continues with Seb Fontaine (pictured) manning the decks. and Dirty Vegas providing the live sounds. See preView, page 74. Liquid Room, Edinburgh.
Music Our highly impressionable reviewer believes Aereogramme should be renamed Black Sabbath Mahler Delgados. Perhaps you should believe the hype. See review. page 94. Chemika/ Underground.
10 True Romance
DVD Lots of extra footage and snazzy features accompany this two-disc celebration of the Tarantino-scripted. Tony Scott-directed cult gem. See review. page 91. Warner.