Events are listed by date, then city. Submit listings at least ten days before publication to, by post or by tax on 0131 557 8500. Listings are compiled by Maureen Ellis.

Thursday 10


Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurx. l'(i(‘ Building. chl'rcu Strcct. (18711 787 (1707. 8.15pm. £(i.'1‘hc ulna)» llllL‘UlllpHHlll\lllg Ra) inond .\1carn\ inlroduccx Paul B liduards. lrixh niirthstcr Joc Roonc) and Rudi l.ick\\ood. Giggles Mcrcury Loungc. 142 Bath Lane. 248 1777. 9pm. £5 (£4). l-cnialc douhlc act ('hanihcrx and thllcton indulgc in a Iitllc l'rcc-lorin musical L‘Ulttcd}. Alan Andcrxon takcs compcring duticx.

The Stand 'l'hc Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. (18711611061155. 9pm. £511.41. Nalixc ('alilornian comic Jo\anka Stccl puts a high-hcclcd boot into thc dumb blondc \tcrconpc‘s. Scc photo caption. Support C(itltC\ from (ircg Mcllugh. \‘i'midy and cult coinpcrc 1‘rankic 11o) 1c.


The Stand 'l‘hc Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. Opm. £5 (£4). lloxl Donna Krachan introduccx Nick chcll. with John Scott and Bralch).

Snatch Club 'l'hc l.qul(l Room. ‘lc Victoria Strccl. 225 25o4_ lllpni 3am. £3.50 (£2.5(li. chidcnt compcrc llarr} :\ll1\\\()rlli and compctition lttixl l)a\c Strong (aka 1’crricr ncncolncr \\ inncrx (Earth ('ruikxhank and liddic .\lc(‘ahci with tlicir u. cckl} ('urri ()n-mcch-lli l’t‘ Ht dchatlchcd caharct.


Watson’s Wind-up (ilaxgon l‘ilni 'lihcatrc. 12 Roxc Strcct. 5115 (10111,

1 1.4.5plll. lircc. l‘tll llc‘lkL'lcd. ()Il/\ (H1 Iz'ii'uu' \\ ritcr Jonathan \Vatxon rcturnx \xith a nc\\ \cricx of his radio \lio“. ('all for tickch or cmail

tickctxm C(imcd}

An Evening with Henry Rollins l’a\ilion 'l‘hcatrc. 121 chlicld Slrcct. 332 1846. 7.30pm. £15. Sclli- conlcwional coiiicd) l'roni thix iron— puniping lcgcnd of Black Hag laiiic. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurx. l'(i(' Building. cht'rcxx Strcct. (1871) 787 (1707. 8.15pm. £12. Scc Thu 10.

The Stand 'l‘hc Stand. 333 Woodland\ Road. (18711611061155. 9pm. £7 (£(il. Big \‘aluc ucckcnd C(tltlcd} \\ itli Radio 4 rcgular Nick Rcwll. John (iillick and thc l'krainc\ nunihcr tuo comcdian licnc 1.ittcltc\tico\.

Duntocher Comedy Club 1)untiglcnnan. (i8 1)uniharlon Road.


vaguely inappropriate.


in Colonial.

You'd like that.

ome things I have done recently I have looked at again

afterwards and wondered about like bringing really

interesting books out of the depths of Borders and leaving them on the TV tie-in tables at the doors; switching off A Beautiful Mind half way through: or egging grandma on to do a handstand.

For these there is no recompense. no circle of vindication. Then something happened that had a full circle. I am standing in the doorway of Oddbins Kelvinbridge and I see two policemen looking in the big bed-shop over the road. I am interested in talking to them about the beds and hearing them. if I am lucky. exchange views about frame size. mattress depth. orthopedic bed-heads and then, who knows. maybe swing into something

I am Curious to talk to folk who have to tailor a response because of a municipal responsibility. Officers of justice might feel a compromising of their power by entering conversations that involve getting into pyjamas and referring to the body. I don't seek it out; here it is in front of me. ‘I see you are looking at beds.“ 1 say to the first man.

'No. no. I am not looking at any beds.‘

“Perhaps there is one design in particular that stands Out’?‘

‘No. no. I was just not looking at the beds . . . just gazing.’

'I see . . . you were just gazing at yOur reflection . . . see how you are

There are two of them: good cop. better cop. Bemused cop. clear cop. The other policeman says: “OK. well now. evening sir.‘

They go off. Next evening I am walking down the road and I see two brightly dressed different policemen in the window of a parked car. As I pass. a man calls out from inside: ‘Seen any nice beds?“ lt's him from last night. The gazer. Plainly clothed. I go in close and say I have. He says there are some nice ones

He recommends a bed-shop. I tell him about a man who has a big bed made of railway sleepers with a pair of stocks in the headboard. Punishment.

All the way throogh the gazer keeps a straight face. never smiles and seems to be so much more powerful in no uniform. unrestricted. seated. The two unplainly clothed policemen are staring as we swap headboard and pillow talk. They fall between prescribed responses with their looking as l leave. For this I am most pleased. Good cop. bed cop.

64 THE LIST 10-2-1 Apr 2005

1)untoclici. (ll ‘5” S‘l2 illll “pm 1 icc 1111(' \c\\ (hint-d} \\\.11\11111.111\1 1)c\ chill. \\ llll \ I\ (iCc'. \hdllh .tIlLl compcrc \lan \ndciwn


0 The Stand llk‘ Stand. 2 \(‘llx 1’1.icc.55.\ ~2‘2 ‘lpm £5 (UH San l‘l'.tll \ltHc'lclllc‘lcltdltl Scott (Lipuiio licklcx tlic l‘(tlllt(l.tllc'\ of good l.i\l\'. alil} \(ipporlcd 1i} lcllo\\ (Lililoinian .lo\anka Stccl. plux (iicf: \lc’lllllel and

(iracmc \lackic

East Kilbride

0 Simon Munnery 1..i\l killmilc .>\rt\(’cntrc.()1d(‘o.ich Road. (11 ‘55 2(il(l(l(l_ Spin. £S (UH lhc cicatoi of ,\Ian l’arkci' l‘rhan \Variioi and thc 1.cag_'uc x\f,“.tlll\l l'cdium. \\1t(t madc .i hricl toia} into lClL‘\l\l(tll \\llll .lllt'll/Illll Si run. [1110“ \ do“ n lll\ might} \\\ord to mdulpc lll\ lrccxl} 1c anarchic humour.


Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurx. l‘(i('liui1ding_'. chli'cu Strch(1S7117S7117117, S15plll. £1 i Scc 'l‘hu H).

O The Stand in slain. in \Vtmdluntlx Road. 11S?“ (i111) (i1155 11pm. LS. SL‘C 1‘“ 11.

Madcap Comedy Club Statc Hal. 14S Holland Sll'cct. ‘l-lfi ‘12S‘1. ‘1..5ll]tlll. £5 (£4 1. Bill} lionkcrx introducw a \clcction ol acts lrom thc local ciicinl.

Edinburgh The Stand lllc Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 55S 7272.1)pm. £.\'(£(il.Scc1'ri 11.


Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service 'l‘hc Stand. .555 \\'(i(i(ll;llt(l\ Road. (18711611116055, Shillpni. £»1(£2i, (’alil'ornian comic .onaiika Stccl |(t111\ hckillcd nondcrho} John Scott. thrcc gucxtx and laconic host Rcdmond.


Bruce’s Sunday Social Fund 'l‘hc Stand. 5 York 1’lacc. 558 7272. Snitlpm. £4 (£21. Brucc 1)c\1in inlroduccx l'rank Quinn. (iraciiic Thomas and thrcc gucxlx.

Reg Anderson’s Comedy Lounge ll()1}l'()(ttlliht‘l'll. t) ll()1}l'()(tt1 Road. 557 4072. ‘lpm. £3. ('clch mimic Kcara .\lurph} ltL'tltlllltC\. with support from 5ll—uoi'd \tor)tcllcr Slcphcn Barnah} and gut-xix.

Monday 14


Red Raw 'l‘hc Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. S.311pm. £1. liiglit conicd} \ irginx arc put throuin llicir pacc\ h} hoxt John (iordon and licadlincr (iracinc 'l‘lioiiias.

Tuesday 15


Mrs Brown Rides Again l’a\llion 'l'hcatrc. 121 chlicld Stl‘cct. 5.52 ISM). 7.3(lpm. £13 £15 (£11 £l2i. l)uhlin\ l'a\ouritc Mamm) aka Brcndan ()‘(‘arroll rcturnx “11h morc inxightx into uh} it\ \o hard hcing a noman.


Artists Against the War 'l‘hc Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 553 7272. 9pm. £6 (£41..-\ hcnct'it night h} thc circuit\ rib-tickling radicals.

Wednesday 16


Mrs Brown Rides Again t’miliim 'l‘hcatrc. 121 chlicld Strcct. 552 18-16. 7.3(1pm.£15 £15 (92117792121. Scc'l‘uc 15.

The Stand lmprov llit- \1.l11(l. 1‘? \\o.».l| Ricki (l.\"(l (illtl ml“

.\ 5111‘111 1511111 liiipim \'\l‘c'11\ \lu nlllkll,illllk'llll‘th\‘11‘1\lllk'\l1111\‘111C g_' nnknoxxn \\illi \pcc 1.11 f_‘tlc‘\1\ lioni tlic cut (in popping? up iii l‘lt‘ck‘k'illllfj\..111}lll|ll;'(.111ll.ll‘l‘x'll..lllt1 \\1111111\'\\‘1\\(‘.t1lllt‘llk‘llll.”[‘lul‘dl‘h \\111


A Kick Up the Tabloids llic \oik 1’1.icc_ 55S '2‘) "Mn £5 (till llicaklng' lt\‘\\ \ll(\lll.t1(tllll(l 111(‘\\(t11(1l\ll\'.11(‘\l\\llll\ll\'\'l\. iiic\cicncc and lilatanl \(tlllx‘llll‘l lll \Ulllk'\l\lk'\1111111111'1Hl‘|\.11\tllllk'lll‘lll acting political [llllk'1111\1\1\l).llll Sncddon. Snxan \ll‘lll\\\11.111\l lolin lliiil

Thursday 1 7


Mrs Brown Rides Again 1’.t\ll|(ill lillk'dllk'. l\,k'llllk'1t1\llk'k'1. 55.2 1.51“ 'illpm Lli £15 (£11 1121 Scc Inc |S

Jongleurs Comedy Club .ll‘ll}.'lk'1ll\.li(l(‘lllllltllllll.l<£'1111\‘\\ .Sltcr'l. 113-211 28—. 115211“ .\ 15PM] Ui (icoidic |;t|‘('\lr'l \lickc} Hutton \\C1\'Hlll(‘\ lo llic \Iacc \1/ fl nc\\ 1\(i_\ l)\‘\('l.t11\(‘15;ll(tIIISl.lllt't‘\\‘l .lllll.ll‘1\‘ l'ic\oi (‘iook and llic .ll\\.l_\\ loilliiig'lil (inia \axlicic

0 The Stand lllt‘ \‘iaiid. Hi \Vimillantk lx’o.i(1_llSWlfillllfill55 up.“ £5 (£1) \tt\\l(' Skclcli Show tcain nicmlici Kilt) l'lanaggaii \\ll(\ \(oxxcd (1/ illltltt'ltct'x \\ itli hci Ill/mini rm .\1cllioiiiiic l‘('\ll\itl \1l(t\\ 11(‘.l(lllll\'\ St‘k‘ [‘HW lt‘\\. Sltt' t\ .ll(1(‘(l .tlttl .ll‘t'llt‘il 1i) l-rank Quinn and natural born \loi_\tcl|ci .laniic \lclx'cn/ic 1 iankic 11(i)lt‘ lakcx control of llic nnc Giggles \lcicm} louncc. 1-1211alli 1.anc. 2-1S 15"" 11pm £5 (L-li local pallci mcicliaiit (‘liailic Ross llt'.l(lllll('\. \\ Illl (iciildlt‘ (liilllilt' act \l.ill .llld l'dl'lHlt. \cil \l.l_'..‘('c and compcic \laii .‘\|l(lL'l\till.


Big Word Birthday Special (‘in ('alc. 1‘) 111a” Sliccl. 555 27‘)“

‘1 11pm £i (£2i. I’ciloimancc pocli} group 111): “old 111.t11\\ ll\ tllllll\t'l\.tl_\ \\llli a \cwn act poctr) C\ll'.t\;t_‘2.tll/.t (itic\l\ mcludc 1 ondon pocl Stc\ c ‘1';i\aiic. .'\u\lralia'\ Rim-mar} llarii\. (il;i\g:o\\ '\ \'i\ (icc.p1u\ 1'.l\|k‘lll .\lurra_\. tlic l’icaclici and Ricliaid \lc-(liiiiggton.

The Stand '1 ltt‘ Slitlltl. \‘(illk l’lttt't‘. 558 7272. ‘lpm. £5 (£41. (ilaxggoxx patlci iiici‘clianl 1)c\ .\1cl.can l\ tlic c\cninj_"\ lcadin}: man. Support conicx courtcx} ol .lolin (ioidon. licarxdcn'x poxh lilokc .\'cil \lcl-arlanc and ll()\1 lirucc I)c\1m.

Snatch Club '1 lic 1.1(ltlltl Room. ‘lc Victoria Sliccl. 225 2501 lllpm lam. {2.5111122.5111.Sk'k'ilillll 111.

Friday 18


Watson’s Wind-up (llilSjJHH l‘lllll 'l'hcatlc. l2 Roxc Sti‘ccl. “1505111.

1 1.15pm. 1‘l'L’C. ltlll llk'hL'lCtl. SL'L' 1'“

l 1.

Mrs Brown Rides Again l’lt\lll()ll ‘l'llt'nll'L‘. 121 Rt‘llllc‘ld Sli‘ccl. .5 52 1340. 7.30pm. £11 £15 (£11 £121. Scc 'luc l5.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurx. 1 (i(‘ Building. chlrcu Slit-c1.(1S7117S7117117. H.15pni. £12 Scc 11m 17.

The Stand 'I'hc Stand. .55.5 Woodlands Road. “3711 (illll (i055. 0pm. £7 (£6). Brcndan Burkc. thc man lichind 1-ringc 21M) \hou ()m' .Viu/il Ill Hug/film]. punc'u lll\ amiahlc ll'lSll humour. Support comcx from .S.1I.'Ii pl'c‘u‘ltlcl' 1)c\(‘1arkc (Sat (till) I. glohctroltcr (iracmc 'lihomax and thc al\\a}\ u cllaxpokcn \c'il .\1c1'at‘lanc.