TO n the weeks runtting tip to (‘eltie's ill-lated trip to Seville in \eareh ol' liuropean glory. the

team'x tans were haying a ball. A beaeh ball. in tact. Plus some sombreros and ridiculously .xi/ed \uttillaxxex. all of whieh began to appear at some dreieh parts ol‘ the Seottixh mainland. bringing gaudy colour to terraces and \treets lrom (soy'an to (mllow gate. ()1 eourxe. it took wane \tnat't-at'xed jt‘iurnalist‘pedant to inl‘orm the west eoaxt hordexgthat their geography wax a bit out. and that destination Bey ille was aetually some N) odd lllllc\ lrom the Coastline. d h Still. the point had been made. When the threat 21l't'l\Cs of sand between your Ioex and sun W blistering the \kin from your ears. we pallid Seots break ottt into a sweat at the yery thought. Perhaps it'x because we all haye a cherished early memory of lapping wayeletx and \lipping

dunex. whether in the [K or abroad. Mine llt\'t)l\'C\ wailing a bueket ol‘ tears which l'oreed tny

dad to mini many miles out ol’ the Blaek lxle to rescue my precious yellow and red lootbztll.

to lle retttrned without the ball. but with his life somehow intaet. I didn't xpeak to him l'or two

tl;t}‘\. ()n the same holiday. my brother bttilt an igloo out of \tarlish. ()r tnaybe that w ax a

sea, dream I had. inspired by the trauma ot‘ losing Bally.

Some yearx later when a friend of mine told me they lost their \irginity on an exotic Mediterranean shore. I nearly eut his throat with jealouxy. . Maybe eyeryonex layourite beaeh reeolleetion is wrapped tip in the warm golden xand ol Words; Brian Donaldson \omeone Clch memory. To one generation of film lam. beaches meant Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr getting it on in From here to lz'm'niry'. llow depressing it is that the einema giyex our peerx a rantng Bobby (‘arlyle and a lumpy Leo rtttming around the (lull of Thailand imagining himselt‘ to be in a yideogame.

But for those who doubt that um. \and. \ea and the other 's' can be l‘ound in thix lair nation. the nut lew pagex will hopelully put that to rext. Despite all appearances. me really can be a

beach for Seotx. .lllxl don‘t forget to paek your brolly along with the Ambre Solaire.

16 TNE LIST 1:1 Jun 3 t or