The Front


George Kyle,



Tennent’s the reat B ' ' ' . - you kno sponsorship, test to find out. Answers next issue w your rea' causes for celebration from your fakes? Try - . our simple

gives us his top ve T in the Park high points.

the US of A would they feel the urge to wheel

them out and celebrate all their geeky greatness. 'J true '..I false

2 january

Cat New Year

Happy Mew Year! Having slept through the first after all night party on Hogmanay, 2 January is

1 The weather Experiencing four seasons in two days never seems to faze the T in the Park fans. Where

else. can you carry off wearing wellies and sunglasses at the same time With such style?

the official New Year‘s Day for felines. ’J true 'J false

7.13 iv 1‘; Don’t Step on a Bee Day They may sting you and make your leg swell up

like a balloon, but this is the day to make your peace. 'J true '..1 false

19 January

Bald Eagle Appreciation Day

Not leery old men the ornithological kind. Take your binoculars and head for the hills in search of these beautiful birds of prey.

'_1 true ;.l false

2 "'O'MPIO The Kinross peoples; hospitality and the T in the Parkers sense of fun and ‘up for it' attitude have made the event what it IS - one of the best music festivals. ii;in

National Sparks Day

They might be viewed as eccentric 705 pop loons here but Sparks are regarded as rock gods in the low countries and their fans lobbied the

Belgian parliament to make an official holiday. 'J true ‘_.I false

3 The music I'm particularly

eXCited about some of the artists

playing this. our 10th T in the Park |

cBan t wait to see Echo & the . unnymen. John SQUire Zwan

the White Stripes. ' and

4- February

Stuffed Mushroom Day

Celebrate this genius of this attractive, healthy and filling vegetarian snack at the heart of 705 cocktail party cuisine.

;.l true '3 false

_/-1_ L7. g u. s i;

Anti-Razor Day

‘Let it grow, let it grow‘ is the mantra here. Throw away your shaver and let your follicles do the talking. And this is not just for the boys: girls should shun the depilatory dictum too.

'.I true 'J false

4 The team The peo '

' ple workin behind the scenes at T in the Para are often unsung heroes. They do an amazing job of making sure the festival runs smoothly.

5 February

Weather Girl Day

Its not their fault, they don’t control it. they just

giggcoz'gflgt My fav0urite is last tell you about it so for just one day stop blaming

the grass enjgyfinevenmgi Sitting on getting drenched on them and show them some ' 9 a perfeCt pint of love,

Tennent's Lager ' _ while the s n - - , m../,.\i,._m_, Over the main stage. U Sets .1 true .1 false 4 J u»:

Discover a Genuis Day SITE OF THE FORTNIGHT

7 February So many of them go unrecognised, buried in ‘_ .- “ummmmw.~mnm"w’ . a The """"‘ f2!an

Love Your Robot Day

Another unrecognised Japanese innovation. Treat your microchips with a little tenderness. They'd love you back if they only had the (a)


their basement labs with only pet lemmings and a partially constructed genetic mutant man for company. Drag ‘em out and tell the world!

'_.l true ’J false

QT... a true 3 fa|se 2E3 Octob e :r 3 International Cliche Day 8 March A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush so at Uppity Women Day the end of the day there‘s no time like the

present so go on, use 'em and abuse 'em.

We all know at least one and these stroppy it true 'J false

mares get away with murder, so this is the prime time to let them know how you feel. It’s payback ,- time! 2 ll} 1‘! Oil-.3 i. b S: 1: 3 true 3 false Give Your PC a Name Day

Have a somewhat fraught relationship with your computer? Giving it a name is supposedly meant to create a bond between man and machine but in truth it just means you know who you're shouting at. '4] true 'J false

Ever th0ught yOur days are numbered”?

Well, according to this cheery little page

they are. Simply enter your date of birth.

and few other choice personal details

and it gives yOu the exact date of your I

deathvalong wrth a handy little clock

counting down the seconds. If it's bad

news. then do not fear: there are links to

a body freezmg organisation and a whole range of “life extenSion' products If the COuld have added the mode of demiseyit COLlld-haVe given you a better chance of SurViVing the big day. See the celebrity obits for good news about George W

20 March

Snowman Burning Day

Fed up of those permanently cheery chappies reminding you how absolutely numb you are despite the fact that it’s suppose to be spring? Get out the Swan Vestas and paraffin and show your support.

3 true ’3 false

:3 Deczet'ntiei'

Bath Tub Party Day

Baths can be so lonely so add a social element to your cleansing regime, get all your friends round then party like it's Sunday night in the orphanage.

2.] true Ci false

ill-~25 April

National Freak Week

Dweebs, nerds, geeks they come in many guises but have similarly painful traits. Only in

.. ,- 4: v ,Wrn-V 1' '


“t. 5 a Banker Betsy ' It's great. Last “me Researcher Kathteen i saw the exhibition It's really Adm/n/Sfrafor gonathan it was a lot more nlce. l I am ‘in’lO/Ogisr partial. This is the wasn‘t Computing VOW “Ice Its first time i've seen familiar ‘Nlth how tO steal We” Organised the whole exhibition Whistiei-s one. I like it and "m and it's great to see work but very much “Dressed by it put into context rTOW I realise and am very different I'm a {an impressed yes and periods he

like this,

went throUgh

6 THE LIST 3—1 7 Jul 2003