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t's not every day you can put in the same sentence the star of a reality TV show, a man who acts like a taxi driver and one of the great impressionist painters. But it's not every day the world's weirdest, wildest and most wilful arts festival comes around. So yes, we've got Kelly Osbourne, Rob Brydon and Claude Monet in our sights. Then we'll be catching up with George Orwell one minute, and Ice-T the next. We'll be doing Spanish dance on the Fringe and documentaries in the Film Festival. If we're not at Julian Clary, you'll find us getting nostalgic with Topsy and Tim. Here are all our tips for the very best that's on.

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Music Kelly Osbourne 16 Comedy Rob Brydon 19 Dance Spanish moves 22 Film documentaries 25 Theatre Gregory Burke 26 Books George Orwell 29 Art Claude Monet 31 Gay Mel and Sue, etc 35 Clubs Ice-T and co 37 Kids Topsy and Tim 38

Tickets complete box office info 38