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Ludricrous rock operatics

A recent film reView in a leading arts listings publication (the reView was for Torremo/i/ios 73. the magaZine was The List). declared and I quote that ‘we are all whores‘. On this note of reSOunding verite. let's imagine that all singles are whores. pimped by big daddy muSic industry to an aurally addicted populace high on sound.

The first he through the beaded Curtains is TM Juke. eager to please and get down on all four tracks of this EP'S lush. Cinematic soul iazz (Tru Thoughts .0 ). It's a pleasurable affair but kind of predictable. so it's with raised eyebrow that yOu welcome the crazy cut'n'paste collage Of Pest’s 'Chrcken Spil' (Ninja Tune 0.. 'l. For this one. imagine that she's wearing gold hotpants and yeti're in a giant animal costume « fun but ultimately Silly. Altogether more mild mannered and middle-aged is Ursula 1000 and ‘Samba 1000' (ESL O ). a low-rent samba bitch for Chardonnay-drinking footie fans.

As the Oil protector whirrs into action at Our imaginary House of Blue Lights. Thunderball arrives With ‘Welcome Back Cooper' (00 l. the aural eduivalent of a young Marianne Faithful. all fanfares. sitar and tripped-out psychedelia but she'll be unconscious —- or werse. talking before you climax. 80 best plumb for the Substance and Staying power of the first audio artist to be released on Dundee Uni's Discparc label. Mark Wallace. aka C-Digga (Discparc COO ). All Detroit dubs and driving basslines. the retro house of his two-track EP beguiles nicely. Booty-bouncing has its place in every whorehouse. so of COUTSG it wouldn't be cricket to leave before dipping your wick in the dope wax oi Lotek Hi Fi’s ‘Percolator‘ (Big Dada COCO ). a double A ragga-disco Single wrth more front than Jordan. Glasgow hip hop crew Belles in Monica certainly suit the torrid theme at play here but listening to the postured hard rhyming on ‘Smoke Filled Rooms / That All U Got?’ (New Dawn .0. ). you're strangely reminded of Chris ‘Brass Eye‘ Morris' 'Uzi-Lover' skit.

Nonchalantly dismiSSing Lene Marlin and her single ‘You Weren't There' and Melanie C With her latest ‘Yeh Yeh Yeh' (Virgin O l for being too y0ung and too shit respectively. it's time to crank some sexual stimulant into your veins and go Out with an almighty bang. Yes folks. Single of the Fortnight goes to The Darkness with ‘I Believe in a Thing Called Love' (Atlantic Ml. Much like a red hot poker up the ass. the Iudricrous rock operatics of this reCOrd will leave y0u smiling as yOLi stagger from this singles bordello riddled With self-loathing and STDs. (Catherine Bromley)

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THE COOPER TEMPLE CLAUSE

Kick Up the Fire. and Let the Flames Break Loose

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It would be Just too easy to brand this bunch ‘<;oinplete ‘.'.ia|lopers' and leave them to drip dij, on the ‘.'.’£tf§'llllt} line of Nil/7f: » ow :rl iyr )ed hors :shit next to Terris ino can‘t remember them (ritlieri, But on t’?‘.'l(l(}ll(L(,‘ of this second long player they deserve a stay of execution lliese musical inagpies lift from ‘.’£tl'|()tlf)

contemporary sources but don't always cover up the Joins. This gives it a self-conscious feel. but less so than rnany of the contrived ‘garage' or ‘rrietal' artists currently iviilking record buyers for all their worth,

The paradoXical thing is it still sounds great to hear Grandaddy or Sonic Youth finally Cut loose again or Oasis pertori'i a song that is epc .'.‘lll‘i()lll being flatulent and

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Rx. UNKLE

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Poor old .Jaines l axelle he wants to lie lllt wk and compelling like long i. at ex collaborator [U Shadow but he ain't :tu'te it t the soul

'.’e'./er. (and :,er‘.aiiil, has its rnorne'its but. rather like Its predecessor Psyeace l'it‘i'orr. i’. is 'i‘.er produced and seerns to strain under the ‘.‘.",‘I(_]lll of the collaborators involxed: Ian Brown and Man:. Iil). Jan/is (Locker. Brian E no and .Josh lloinrrie. Richly cinematic in texture. With orchestral strings. haunting inelodies. throbbing guitars, teaiii‘g. choppy beats and Richard l iie's beautifully melancholy vocals. Never, Never,

1 and is basically overblown and flaccid as opposed to taut and edgy. But, UNKLE fans are still sure to lap it up once MTV has finished With it: groups like this depend on natty Visuals froin the likes of Futura 2000 and Shynola to retain those achineg hip credentials and enSure they sell. sell. sell. (Andrew Richardsonl

HOCKN'ROLI STYLUS AUTOMATIC Nightwindows (Own label) .0

Attitude. That's what this rock'n'roll thing is about. right? Throw in some guitars wait. make that lots of guitars, fly over to LA record debut With big name producer. make friends With Morrissey. play at famOLis venues like Whisky-a-Gogo. leave to