thelnsider

I Ir sl’lf.” heart, that Martin Scorsese v, r'iaki'ir; another mo. e with Leonardo DiCaprio ‘.'.’lia'. gire'fi/ ti, Mart, higl‘ stari'larrls tws prenriui', collaboration .'.‘th l e’i.

‘i’rirl, was a disaster

f or the first time l'i "v: 'ireat Italiar‘

(i/irg‘, of Jew.

American filrrirnaver", camel. Scorsese was r.'r,-;iti.'r-l, hobbled b, the movie, 'ne.’ Urie of the .‘rorst ffllll’lf, irririr,sr:r: iirxin the man .vho made lax; {DU/er. (}()()(ff(,’l/(lf; and Casi/in was the foregrounding of the romance bets/een DiCaprio and Cameron Dia/ characters as a .vay of appealing to the teen market and increasing the films box office [)(llfflliléil And rluite asirle from those coriiriierrial constraints. lliCaprio's performance as the street gang leader Amsterdam ‘.'.'as rust lame. Arlyn-ray. ‘.'/fl(il(f‘.'(3f. Scorsese is ‘.'."()fk|flg with DiCaprio again. on the Howard Hughes biopic lhe x‘iviator. which focuses on two decades of the aircraft designer cum Holly‘s/OOH movie moguls life: the WIN) 1940s. f-‘rom the sounds of the screenplay lby (3/.‘irli.'it(ir's .John I ogani The Avrator will look at Hughes‘ life through rose tinted specs, glorifying his pioneering achievements in the sky and romanticising his love affairs with Hollywood stars Katharine Hepburn do be played in the film by Cate Blanchett) and Ava Gardner (Kate Beckinsalel. that's all very well. but anyone with a passing knowledge of the slea/y history of Hollywood will know that Hughes was a hateful misogynist who forced hiriiself upon his leading ladies. stitching them into contracts with his studio RKO. having them followed about Tinseltown by his personal force of private detectives and installing the more riialleable ones in 'fuckpads'. Insider wonders whether Scorsese's film, backed by Disney offshoot Miramax. will leave out the sordid side of Hughes” life?

What makes you think you can play Howard Hughes?

K‘Carneron Stout. In 0 panto. In Aberdeen. '

i,” S", ..

God.

an's people

I And from one comic figure to another. Cameron Stout, Winner of Big Brother 2003. is shunning the credible teleViSion route of previous Winners Brian Dowling and Kate Lawler (naturally Insider has wiped all memories of Craig whatshisface from the memOry banks) to utilise his new-found celebrity status in panto. In Aberdeen. Quite what the teetotal. anti-gay nuptials. Christian fish-gutter will make of the cross-dressing, smut and innuendo thrown up by Peter Pan is only slightly less distressing than the fact that he‘s appearing as a pirate. and not among the ranks of lost boys.

I Insider knows that stand—up coriirxlians. save for the dapper Harry Hill and The Fast Show tailors. aren't famed for their iriipeccable appearance. So it was With a snigger that Insider greeted news of Craig Campbell's treatment at the hands of a BBC driver. The dishevelled coriiedian who's famed in his native Canada for a very late night TV talk show ~- was due to appear on a Beeb breakfast show. but the driver refused to believe that the hairy. bearded. crusty-eyed man. wrapped in a blanket. was in fact a comedian and not a person of outdoor abode.

Teenage girls love me.

I Insider went undercover to check out the new Odeon cinema on Edinburgh's Lothian Road. Wearing a pair of NHS specs and a baseball cap. InSider sneaked into a preView of the new Pixar Studios computer animated film. Finding Nemo. But while the kids in this Sunday morning show were lapping up the submarine adventures of a father and son clown fish act, Insider was busy evaluating the new Odeon. It's a far cry from the ABC. which stood on the same Site. sporting the biggest screen in Scotland for many years until the cinema was derriolished. For a start. the new Odeon is. bar its bo>< office and food stand. all situated below ground With a licensed bar and four sriialI-to-medium-Sized sCreens which play mostly Hollywood moves. but also a smattering of arthouse films. It seems as though some marketing bod has come up with the idea of mixing the multiplex with the arthouse venue: an ‘artplex’ perhaps? InSider finds it hard to imagine that this new Cinema hybrid Will give local arthouse rivals the Cameo and Filmhouse and multiplex monster the UGC a run for their box office money. It seems that cinemagoers fall into two categories: those who like popcorn and Bruce Willis and those who like Chardonnay and Francois Ozon. and never the pair shall meet. But then. what does InSider know? Insider is hardly the Film ediIOr of The List.

The Front

Arno/a St‘f‘l'.gili‘cllt’gger

s'oes ntc Hurnsteldran

‘Now he owes me "7008 when being

bacon. caught with egg on his fine

‘I planted one smack in the middle of him.’

David Bl'al'le's hellado'h'ki Manon ion Gerkar: recalls the "in'nent when she chucked he' on n egg at One of the aliisionist's .‘o'n‘er‘tors at loner

Br idge.

‘I dream of having a farm with chickens where I collect the eggs myself and grow vegetables.’

Yet more egg} nonsense. this time from Salarn Have/x, who is clearly not happy With her rob.

‘She is very tall, very beautiful, blonde and has green eyes.’

Perugra pres/dent Luciano Gaucci unveils the club's latest Signing, one Hanna L/ungberg.

‘We will make a settlement

but we’re not going to

apologise.’

Granada issues a statement as the art/n Bash/r v Michael Jackson war

trickles on.

‘Bitchy and confusing.’ Britney Spears attacks the line or (IL/estioriirig thrown at her by Popwor/d's presenter Simon Amste/l. As the tape was inirriediate/y confiscated. we may never have the chance to see Britney being called ‘nuts' to her face.

‘He always wants to know about my problems; I just tell him.’

Naomi Carriphel/ reveals that she has none other than Nelson Mandela 's shoulder to cry on.

‘I felt like dying, like lying naked on the

railway track, waiting for a train.’ Fran Hea/y finds it tOugh at the top, the poor love.

Why does it always

train on him?

18 See—2 Oct 2003 THE LIST 7