0 he Raking through the dustbin of gossip and trivia

I Insider has been feeling a little

depressed of late. and no amount of marrowfat and cod liver oil anal injections can lift it. Why’? It seems that lady luck has finally turned on the great rock showriien of yestewoar. It all started with the death of Robert Palmer. who died of a heart attack in Paris at the age of 5.1. Palmer was hardly the most handsome of men and his music. for the most part Ibar a few Island releases in tho 70s). stank. But he saw tho writing on the wall. He knew that greedy spiniiiasters would one day reduce music to an iritage-Ied industry that only occasionally felt the need to pipe in a bit of crap music to shift a few units. What do you think tho Addicted to Love Video phenomenon was about but a Shaman dtxtonstruction of a future world of musical frigidity and emptiness? Mmm, and then the news broke. Tho king of old school Showmanship (sorry Gene SITTIIT‘OIISI. David Lee Roth. has been iniured by his own fair hands. It seems Roth was executing a very fast and complicated move with a samurai sword at a recent performance and ended up with 21 stitches in his face and a cancelled tour schedule. At .17 years old. Roth shOuld maybe know better, but Insider cannot help wondering if Simon Fuller is conducting a night of the long knives on old guard performers who knew the truth: if they were lust gigolos. then what did that make their nmnagement'?

I Insider had the misfortune of going to see Starsailor at the Carling Academy in Glasgow recently. It was not that there was anything particularly wrong with the band (With the possible exception that they COuId put a glass eye to sleep). No. this has more to do with a serious bouncer problem. Who do these people think they are’? The Carling Academy is a rock \enue. clearly sponsored by a brewery and yet no one was allowed

' z' :> Martin O’Neill and Alex McLeish T'W .-

f>€3i,iir t, :.r:.ii’t t"r<,.z .’:.i ’,..i ‘. :l ...:

1“ ’l’x i’r" the lral' ' iiies it .' a "tan" 1‘

stand up ii? the early part (if the (iiz.

riiade for an experecrx: aims? as - "T "11”" pieasant as a sweat shower in a . 2'. confession °. disused Masonic chamber ‘7 at $31 13") for a can of Carlin; a”: : draught Diet Coke. Insider fees t"::t

perhaps the ammo is being (:xtrar‘fz-t

Taking stick

out of the eager and patio'it l’iiritu's who attended that night.

I Insider's only. use for long point. Esti(:l<5; is; t()r t)r)l<irir) (>lrf (tgtt) ; )(Ellf;|()rlt§'§; wrthout having to give up the .‘.’lll(l(?‘.‘. seat in the pub. But it seems that Stephen Hendry is lost ‘.'.’litl()lll his prize winning cue which recently grit smashed up on a flight back fl()'l‘ Thailand, l-londry won seven world titles with that stick. so he has taken it to a cue doctor Ilnsidor had no Ifiétél such guaint craft sciences existed. but what really shocked was when Hendn, revealed Ive had the cue since I was 14. It cost forty guid Il‘ffll but I couldn't put a price on ;t now Well. we can: it's an enorritous pile z," Auchterarder and a colonial badge called an M85.

I Insider would like to big up the Israelis and Palestinians who are to san across the Drake passage to Antarctica in December as a statement of peace. Insider would like to encourage something similar on

wing out sisters

The pole truth

I Insider w0uld like to encourage attendance to the Amateur Pole Competition Grand Final at Siglo on Edinburgh's Cowgate on

Wednesday 8 October. A pole has been installed there fOr a while now and

has attracted all manner of booze-fuelled rift raff. The final has been honed down to 10 contestants and the first prize is $3200. The evening erI bring yOu all the glee of a stag or hen do wrthout having to interact wrth the maritally doomed. An inhabitant of List towers wrll be one of the iudges at the competition. Insider will, of course. be tucked up in bed.

The Front


“Success is not how much money you’ve made. We’re successful because we love each other.’

‘I don’t believe in happiness as a goal. It’s a bit like the right to choose vanilla; it’s just a flavour.’

‘l’m absolutely dreading it. Talking to all those mums about their hollandaise and where | get my lamb shanks from.’

‘Why do they always have to change everything? They’ve even changed the Ferrero Rocher advert, too.’ l/f‘:r~"'11’utifit’ii'. .'.:"..'.‘_r.'."'”"‘()'

irl'irfir'lr” [it”nffnl/

‘We won’t be treated like this just because we are from the Women’s Institute. We are a force to be reckoned with.’ 7”») or gi'n‘i i,’.'lierii,‘i‘ir i;'ri.‘. .irrr ll:."rl«;'f(;'

.it, a sport's/I '7(7.'r,‘ trims. .‘lrei' “til/V“. to

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‘Hurrahlllll’ i”‘e:- N“), ’r?:i,'lv.‘/'l:.rr .l! ‘. f'hii' The wt: .2 “ch for HI fit, the; ‘.'.<;",l

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l,L-'“‘,\;/,v‘v‘,/y,|‘llf', (y! (Mil-'1 ..' ' .u'._iitl. iy .t, ,/\;..).,

‘He’s told his people to find him somewhere suitable to stay and to see when Santa will be free to spend a day with him and his friends.’ Vii/cruel Jackson 3; aide proves he st'i'i' 't.‘tf’)f;.'llfgt,’f; the

..”’,’)().'.'(HI(,‘(' (if