Phil reflects on a perspex box during some Blaine-spotting

e's hanging there. David Blaine. like the last leaf to fall from a tree.

Sitting down inside the see-through box, an all lower-case guru

refracted to slightly larger than life by the plastic and our continual gaze. People call out his name in a terrible game of one-way ping pong. He must shout back ‘I know' until he realises they are shouting for them. There are rumours hanging in the air. too: he‘s not really there. he's surviving by photOSynthesis and is in fact getting vitamins from the eggs thrown at him by a clever refractal osmosis process from the specially developed perspex.

Some people are whispering that the purely physical deprivation thrOugh nutritional abstinence is manifested by the mimicry of an apparent mental deprivation and in fact occupies that space and brings up to the surface. illuminating to us again that this mental state is subjective and you can find a way to be happy with wherever you are.

Most of the crowd don't think this. They are wanting it to hurry tip. Some people stare. quietly adoring. One lady on shoulders holds tip a hand- written message with a comma in it: there‘s very little chance he can read it unless they were pumping in carrot and the perspex magnified

everyone for him.

He has kept us all waiting 44 minutes extra. You know what they say? Many things. Among these things. they say: a watched pot never boils. What they mean is that people often can't be arsed to wait for the highly inevitable: that time seems to stretch out like earrings caught on an ocean


We are all watching David en a big screen. Even David is watching David on a big screen. He has a wee door. he waves Out of it. People are restlessly booxing and when the countdown reaches a peak and the crane lowers him down they leave in droves as soon as he lands. He conjured tip a Crowd from nowhere that are now here. for 976 hours. Now that's magic.


The Comedy Network The l’lcasancc. 60 'l‘hc Plcasancc. 650 9198. 8pm. £3 £5. Studcnt-l‘ricndly comcdy with 2003 l’crricr Ncwcoincr nomincc Alcx Hornc (hc who attcmptcd to tnakc lish chortlc). Will Hodgson and Matthcw Hoshourn. Hairy Watt Comedy Club Hcriot-Watt l'niycrsity l’nion. Riccat'ton. 451 5333. 9pm. £3. A11- tnalc linc-up l‘caturing cstahlishcd comcdy stars l)cs Mchan. Vladimir Mc'I'ayish aitd uncompromising host Raytnond Mcarns. Studcnts and gucsts only.

Jupp’s Juniors The Stand. 5 York Placc. 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£4). 2003 l’crricr Ncwcomcr nomincc Milcs Jttpp introduccs his monthly show. l‘caturing a host of up-and-coming acts. llis gucsts this cycning includc Sandra Johnston. (‘hris (‘oopcr. lismond 'l‘oncy and l)ougic Munro.

Wednesday 5


Bruce Morton Presents The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). ()1’ Brucc is hack to showcasc somc of our nation’s lincst cmcrging comcdians. including Jo Jo Suthcrland. (icrry McDadc and (iary Littlc.


Great Britain Explained The Stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). An it‘rcycrcnt look at cyct‘ything from thc Bcatlcs and thc royals through Hugh (irant and (‘hanncl Island .\'a/.is. Bcn ('hcstcr. (‘olin Ramonc and (‘olin Simpson inycstigatc cycrything that's gi'cat ahout ottr nation.


Dunfermline Comedy Club

(‘arncgic Hall. liast Port. 01383 314000. 9pm. £6.50. ()1d school stand-

up Nick \Vilty joins Scousc host Richard Allcn and comcdy glohctrottcr (iracmc Thomas.


OThe Vault Comedy Club 'l‘lic Vault. i l 10 I’ollokshaws Road. Sltawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. l‘rcc. 'l‘hc Southsidc's first coincdy and music \cnuc opcns to thc public iii a comcdy l‘rcc-l'or- all. ()n hand to cttt the ribbon will hc a mystery gucst hcadlincr. plus Bcat 106‘s Paddy Mc('utchcon and Danny Fox. Scc Ncws. pagc 4.

Lips Unleashed 'l‘riin Theatre. (is Trongatc. 552 4267. 8pm. £6 (£4). Rachcl Jury tcams tip with Big Word to producc a night of passion. scx appcal and laughs with liyc musical accompanimcnt from Aqulc (‘ouch. Purl o/‘(ilusguyf

Laugh @ the Union Strathclydc lfitiycrsity 17nion. 90 John Strcct. 552 1895. 8pm. £2. Rcsidcnt host Michacl Mcliwan introduccs a sclcction of top pattcr merchants. Studcnts and gucsts only.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurs. 1'(i(' Building. chl'rcw Strcct. 0870 787 0707. 8.15pm. £7. Scot-coin layouritc Stti Who'.’ introduccs lhc wry humour of Dayc Williams. plus lhc laconic arttipodcan '1'rcyor (‘rook and Amcrican satirist l)ayid Fulton. olt sccn with matc Rich Hall. Collage Comedy Radisson SAS Hotcl. 301 At'gylc Strcct. 204 3333. 8.30pm. l-rcc. '1'rcyor ('rook. Sandra Johnston and Scott Agncw gct thc laughs

The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). A mystcry gucst cotnpcrc paycs thc way for hcdroom popstar Sandy Nclson. Ncil 1)clamcrc. John (iordon and Jo Jo Suthcrland.


Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurs. ()mni ('cntrc. (irccnsidc l’lacc. 08707 870707. 8pm. £8. Roying

comcdian Stcphcn (‘irant awardcd liyc stars by this ycry publication for this 2003 l‘cstiyal show introduccs l.chmo. Matt Wclcoittc and camp singing scnsation (’raig Hill.

Big Word Performance Poetry The Tron. 9 Huntcr Squarc. High Strcct. 2260931. 9 1 1pm. £3 (£2). Roh (icc scts thc killcr pacc at thc latcst instalmcnt of thc hcctic poctic caharct. Jcnnil'cr Williams. Jack Shca and (ins Ahhot also join rcsidcnt compcrcs Anita (ioyan and Jcm Rolls.

The Thursday Show 'l‘hc Stand. 5 York Placc. 558 7272. 9pm. £6 (£5). Ncwly crowncd cotnpcrc “1111le Boylc introduccs thc pcrlcctly lbrmcd comic talcnts o1 ()pcn Mic Award winncr lirattcCs’ca Martincz. plus (icrry (irant. lrn-Bru fanatic Bcnc Linchcsticoy and Lucy Jcnnings.

The Snatch Social The Liquid Room. 9c Victoria Strccl. 225 2564. 10.30pm 5am. £3.50 (£3). Scc Thu 30.


Nick Wilty and Kirsty Moss 'l'olhooth. Jail Wynd. 01786 274000. 8pm. £6 (£4). Sardonic stand-up l'rom Willy. who has tourcd with thc Iikcs of thc scxic-cst ol‘ comics. liddic luard.


The Vault Comedy Club The Vattll. l 1 l0 l’ollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 ()()07. 7.30pm. £6 £8. This cycning‘s hcadlincr is again shroudcd in mystct'y. 'I‘hc conlirmcd support acts includc Scottish comcdy's grcat unclc Brucc Morton. liast lind powcrhousc Jancy (iodlcy and compcrc Alan Andcrson.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurs. l'(‘i(' Building. Rcttlrcw Strcct. 0870787 ()707. 8.15pm. £12. Scc Thu 6.

The Stand 'l'hc Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 08706006055. 8.30pm. £7 (£6). l’crricr nomiitcc chinald 1) Huntcr hcadlincs (scc prcyicw). with lhc pcrl'cct l‘unny lady 1‘ranccsca Martincl. (‘icri'y (irant and Jo Jo Suthcrland. (itlc‘sl cotnpcrc i'TilllkiL‘ Boylc takcs control of thc mic.


Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurs. ()mni ('cntrc. (it'ccnsidc l’lacc. 08707 870707. 8pm. £15. Scc Thu 6.

C9 The Stand 't'iic stand. 5 York l’lacc. 558 7272. 9pm. £7 (£6). Adam Hills. thc giant of Australian comcdy and thrcc-timcs l’crricr nomincc. purycys his cl‘l'ortlcss. amiahlc stylc. lixpcct lashings ol' good-naturcd honhomic from thc man who lct us into thc prcyiously uncharch world of ‘stumping'. Support comcs l‘rom hcdroom popstat‘ Sandy .\'clson. pltis .\'ci1 1)clamcrc. l.ucy Jcnnings and cotnpcrc Janc Mackay.

The lmproverts Bcdlain 'l’hcatrc.

1 1h Bristo l’lacc. 225 9893. 10.30pm. £3 (£2.50). Scc15ri 31.


The Vault Comedy Club 'l‘lic Vault. 1 1 I0 Pollokshaw s Road.

Shaw lands. 6490007. 7.30pm. £6 £8. Scc Fri 7. only BB(‘ Ncw (‘oincdy Award littalist 1)cs .\lcl.can also pops tip in thc procccdings.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurs. l'(i(‘ Building. chl'rcw Strcct. 0870 787 ()707. 8.15pm. £13. Scc Thu 6.

The Stand Thc Stand. 33.3 \Voodlilnds Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £8. Scc Fri 7. but with cotnpcrc Janc Mackay. Madcap Comedy Club Stalc Bar. I48 Holland Strccl. 946 9289. 9.30pm. £5 (£4). Linc-up includcs John (iillick at Billy Bonkcrs' wcckly comcdy showcasc.

listings Comedy

1 Jason Byrne Banished from his native Ireland for having the audacity to repeat material (so he says), Byrne goes into ad Iibbing overdrive and perspiration profusion on a tour of Scotland. Touring, check listings.

The Vault Comedy Club Adding further gusto to the argument that the Southside is the new West End. the Vault throws open its rather fancy doors to the public. It costs nowt to get in on the first night just get there early. The Vault, Glasgow, Thu 6 Nov.

4 Adam Hills (pictured) The man with the happiest feet in comedy and the most amiable personality swathes our two cities in his big-hearted charm. The Stand, Edinburgh, Fri 7—Sat 8 Nov; Glasgow, Sun 9 Nov.

1 Michael Moore Live The new daddy of global political comedy asks a packed auditorium Dude, Where '3 my Country? Answers on a postcard. addressed to the White House, if you please. Clyde Auditorium, Glasgow. Tue 7 7 Nov.

1 Colin Murphy This Northern Irish leprechaun has sharp teeth and he's not afraid to use them. See him and his incisive comedy as they go on the road. Touring, check listings.


Boothby Graffoe (‘aharct Voltait‘c. 36 38 Blair Slrccl. 220 6176. 7.45pm. £10. 'l‘hc man w ho's almost as much a l‘cstiyal stalwart as Mcryyn Slutlct' rcturns with morc of" his dcadpan sui'i'cal wit. liycn without lhc lingci' picking lil‘iyolily of .-\lllotiio i'tH‘c‘iUllL‘. (il'alloc‘s comcdy ditlics which includc such ltl\t)lll'llcs as ‘l'mhrclla Hcad Boy' and ‘l’lanct 1)og' arc as lunny as thcy arc l‘oot-tappin‘.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jonglcurs. ()mni ('cntrc. (‘irccnsidc l’lacc. 08.707 370707. 8pm. £15. Scc [Hill 6.

G The Stand 'i'lic Stand. 5 York Placc. 558 7272. 9pm. £8.Scc15ri 71ml with cotnpcrc lirankic Boy 1c.

QSL,‘ Oct 11) No. Rhos: THE LIST 77