The Front

Y highfive

Actor ADRIAN HOWELLS, star of, Adrienne’s Dirty Laundry Experience, reveals whose dirty laundry he would most like to inspect.

1 Leigh Bowery He was probably the most uniquely brilliant and outrageous individual I've ever known. He'd bring me skanky items of underwear to wash and would claim they were from famous people.

2 Eddie luard I carry a bit of a torch for him as a hetero TV. He would bring me some fab tranny garments that I would steal while he re-applied his lip gloss.

3 Bjork She's fantastically passionate in her life and work. I hope she‘d bring me that swan dress to wash. It would be a bit of a change to watch that thing whirling round your machine on a fast spin.

4 Thierry Henry When he does that little shoulder shake in that car ad, you can hear every man and woman around the world orgasm. I'd happily spend an hour with him over the spin dryer.

5 Michael Clark He's a genius and I use the word sparingly. Now he c0uld propel the artistic direction of Scot Ballet into a different stratosphere. I would insist on lovingly hand-washing both his and his company's ‘supports'.

SITE OF THE FORTNIGHT The sheer depth of inside knowledge

might make you think this med-bashing

site was put together by one of their disgruntled brethren. A terrifyineg accurate tribute to the city's scourge.

sections include history. culture and the

rogues' gallery. which is accompanied by generous comments will your ponrait be among the assorted ‘bawbags' there? There are even videos. so come on, last one there's a pure dobber.

' WhalDidYoulhink?

Paul Investment Analyst

The best old schoOI rock band With a new age bad arse kick.

6 THE LIST 30 Oct—l3 Nov 2003



Branded orlie

Advertising is dead. Politics is dead. In the future we will express our politics

through what we buy. Words: Damian Horner

ne of Edinburgh‘s major advertising agencies has gone bust. When I first started out in advertising. at the end of the 1980s. Faulds was one of the few agencies outside a very London- centred ad world that was really producing great work. Now. like many of its London-based colleagues. it has withered and died as advertising suffers from the mightiest of post-dotcom hangovers. But this hangover is not going to go away. Everything has changed since the 1980s. and advertising no longer has the power to capture our

hearts. Beans means Heinz. That's the wonder of

Woolies. Naughty But Nice. Most of us remember those slogans which made brands great but frankly it’s not because they were great adverts: we remember them because those brands were able to buy their way into our minds. Back then we just had lTV. Not even Channel 4 existed. let alone Sky. MTV. or all the other satellite channels. Today. brands can target their niche audience on TV on radio. in magazines. and now in all sorts of ambient media. You can advertise on petrol pumps. on supermarket trolleys. on pavements. and now you can even paint your logo on the side of cows.

1 don’t think it's what the world needs. and I‘m an ad man. What the hell do the punters think of this nonsense? For me. the problem goes to the heart of our political lives. Politicians. themselves gone down the road of advertising and marketing. have been weakened just as much as the ads. Now we no lonuer

believe our politicians either. The answer is not going to please fans of Naomi Klein and her ‘No Logo’ philosophy. The answer. I believe. is that brands must now create their own political philosophy. Like it or not. we express ourselves through what we buy. That's why we fell in love with Body Shop back in the 80s: it was more the idea than the products that we liked. Today. because governments are out of touch. it‘s brands that need to express our concerns. How about this: for every pack of Haddock Fish Fingers you buy. Bird‘s Eye should contribute serious money to the replenishment of cod stocks. Not as a publicity stunt. but as a core part of the brand. I’d buy Bird’s liye if they did that. For every British apple you buy. the producers could contribute money to providing dental healthcare education for kids. I'd buy that too. Advertising is no longer the answer. and politics is a weakened commodity. The answer lies in as buying brands which help us take responsibility for the world. The perfect example happened recently in an Argentinian city: the area to the north of the river is wealthy and vibrant. whereas the southern part of the city is poor and violent. The city approached one of its best advertising agencies to create a vast campaign to improve the image of the south side. The agency came back to the city fathers with their proposal: spend your ad money on building a new bridge. I Dam/an Homer is business development director at a London-based advert/sing agency.

The Darkness Aftershow Party The Barfly. Glasgow. Fri 17 Oct


Press researcher They rock hard. they rock long and they rock most mightily.


No corn/next? You cannot escape the Darkness.



Great n‘usic. great Crowd. what ritore could you want fron‘ a band?