Events are listed by date, then city. Submit listings at least ten days before publication to comedyfllist.co.uk, by post or by tax on 0131 557 8500. Listings are compiled by Maureen Ellis.

Glasgow

The Grand Gong Show The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). The first of live weekly heats in which a host of all-round entertainers attempt to win over the audience. Those lasting over live minutes will go forward to the final on 18 Dec. and cotnpete for £1000. Anyone interested in taking part should email newact2004 (0‘ laughinghorse.co.uk Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. C(iC Building. Renfrew Street. 0870787 0707. 8.15pm. £7. Scot- com stalwart Stu Who'.’ introduces Hal Cruttenden. pint-sized Irish lad Andrew Maxwell and Rick Right.

Collage Comedy Radisson SAS Hotel. 301 Argyle Street. 204 3333. 8.30pm. Free. Weekly comedy club featuring Chris Lynam Falkirk lass Kirsty Moss. the ever- cuddly Teddy and compete Parrot.

The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). Raymond Mearns scorches the stage introducing fellow lirestarters Anvil Springstein. Mark Bratchpiece. Tara Flytin and Juliet Meyers.

Edinburgh

Duck Downe The Laughing Duck. 24 Howe Street. 220 2376. New gay- friendly comedy night.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()tnni Centre. (ireenside Place. (18707 870707. 8pm. £8. Alistair Barrie joins Ireland‘s sardonic mirthster Michael Redmond. Brendhan Lovegrove (who doubles as Aaron Barschak‘s writing partner) and Curtis Walker.

The Thursday Show The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £6 (£5). Live Flam“ Show regular Frankie Boyle turns the tables by introducing Dara ()‘Briain with support from David Kay. Kate Fox and Keara Murphy.

The Snatch Social The Liquid Room. 9c Victoria Street. 225 2564. 10.30pm-5am. £3.50 (£3). Tap Water Award winner Tony Carter and Harry Ainsworth aka Perrier Newcomer winner (iarth Cruikshank do their stuff.

Paisley

Colin Murphy Paisley Arts Centre. New Street. 887 1010. 8pm. £8 (£4.50). Missing in action from this year‘s Fringe. the Northern Irish wit purveys his edgy topical satire. A real diamond in the rough.

Glasgow

Watson’s Wind-up Glasgow Film Theatre. 12 Rose Street. 332 8128. l—l.45pm. Free. Only an [in-use writer Jonathan Watson returns with his satirical radio show. Call for tickets. The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £6—£8. Madcap humorist Chris Lynam headlines. with word-play wonder Viv Gee. ballistic humorist Raymond Mearns and compere Des McLean.

Ursula Martinez Tron Theatre. ()3 Trongate. 552 4267. 8pm. £8 (£6). As a single. childless woman. fast approaching 40. the comedy actress anticipates her future in I Dan '1 Want 7}) Grow Old.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. L'GC Building. Renfrew Street. 0870 787 (1707. 8.15pm. £12. See Thu 13.

The Stand The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £7 (£6). Hard-hitting. rapid-lire wit frotn Anvil Springstein. Support comes front Mark Bratchpiece. Tara Flynn. Juliet Meyers and compere Susan Morrison.

Edinburgh

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni Centre. (ireenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £15.

R David introduces Alistair Barrie. Brendhan Lovegrove and Curtis Walker. The Stand The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £7 (£6). Dara ()‘Briain regales with his ferocious wit. David Kay. Kate Fox and Keara Murphy are in support alongside host Jane Mackay. The lmproverts Bedlam Theatre. llb Bristo Place. 225 9893. 10.30pm. £3 (£2.50). Audience suggestions spark surreal comic madness at this weekly improv. 2003 Perrier Newcomer nominee Miles Jupp (who woz robbed) leads his fellow students in spontaneous scrapes.

Falkirk

Jenny Eclair - Middle Aged Bimbo Falkirk Town Hall. West Bridge Street. 01324 506850. 8pm. £10. The feisty gutter mouth returns. See preview.

Natalie Haynes teaches the comedy kids a lesson at Heriot-Watt, Tue 18 Nov

74 THE LIST 113—27 Nov 2003

Glasgow

The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £6-—£8. Des McLean headlines with native noo yoiker Saj and wordplay funnylady Viv (lee joining host Alan Anderson.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. UGC Building. Renfrew Street. ()870 787 0707. 8.15pm. £13. See Thu 13.

The Stand The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. ()870 600 6055. 9pm. £8. See Fri 14 but with compere Jane Mackay. Madcap Comedy Club State Bar. 148 Holland Street. 946 9289. 9.30pm. £5 (£4). Raymond Mearns flies solo at Billy Bonkers‘ weekly club.

Edinburgh

Jenny Eclair - Middle Aged Bimbo Brunton Theatre. Ladywell Way. Musselburgh. 665 2240. 7.30pm. £12 (£10). See preview.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni Centre. (ireenside Place. ()8707 870707. 8pm. £15. See Fri 14.

The Stand The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £8. See Fri 14 only with compere Susan Morrison.

Stirling

Mark Steel Tolbooth. Jail Wynd. 01786 274000. 8pm. £12 (£8). Lend your ears to some visionary political rhetoric frotn the mind of the novelist. broadcaster and comedian. See High Five. page 6.

Glasgow

The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l I 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). liast [End of (ilasgow funnylady Janey (iodley headlines. with Bratchy. Fraser Campbell and Raymond Mearns.

Colin Murphy The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. ()870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £8 (£7). See Thu 13.

Edinburgh

Whose Lunch is it Anyway? The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. lptn. Free. Freeform funniness and hangover- banishing antics from resident duo Paul Graham and Stuart Murphy.

Big Word Edinburgh Poetry Slam The Bongo Club. Moray House. Holyrood Road. 558 7604. 8pm. £4 (£3). Attila (iovan and Jem Rolls introduce tnore hopeful slammers in this furiously- paced poetry competition.

Mark Steel The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £10. See Sat 15.

Glasgow

Offside BBC. Main Reception. Queen Margaret Drive. 305 6602. 7pm. Free. The beautiful game comes under the close scrutiny of Motherwell's foremost pie-eater Tam Cowan. Call for tickets or email tickets(a‘comedyunit.co.uk

The Zulu Live Music Bash The Stand. 333 thdlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 7pm. £3.50. Fortnightly music and comedy gathering featuring the likes of Ian Wallace. Dave Duffy and [fiddle McGuire. the Rodents and the Alan Anderson Blues Band.

The Comedy Quiz The Vault. l l l() Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £1. Resident host Chris Broomtield offers comedy boftins the chance to hit the bullseye.

Monday Mind Fcuk Strathclyde L'niversity Union. 90 John Street. 552 1895. 8---1 1pm. Free to students; £| rioti- stttdents. The comedy quiz hosted by lil Prez. Comedy Mike and the Little Lady. Students and guests only.

Open Mic Night The Liquid Lounge. 94 West Regent Street. 353 6333. 8pm.

Free. Raymond Mearns hosts this weekly open mic night. showcasing a diverse band of merry entertainers. There‘s a free drink for every performer.

Edinburgh

Red Raw The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £1. Marjorie and John (Jordon show newcomers how it's done.

Tuesday 18

Glasgow

Big Word Performance Poetry The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 8.30-1 10.30pm. £3. Big Word heads to the southside as host Jenny Lindsay introduces Rob (iee. Anita (iovan and Jem Rolls.

Red Raw The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 08706006055. 8.30pm. £2. liight newcomers take their first steps on the road to comedy glory.

Edinburgh

The Comedy Network The Pleasance. 60 The Pleasance. 650 9195. 8pm. £3~£5. John Oliver delivers tnore wry musings. in the company of whimsical Welsh lad Steve Williams. Equality Network Benefit Night The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £6. Laughs abound in aid of this local charity.

Hairy Watt Comedy Club Heriot- Watt L'niversity L'nion. Riccarton. 451 5333. 9pm. £3. Bruce Devlin welcomes former school teacher Natalie Haynes and word-play wonder John Flint. Students and guests only.

Wednesday 19

Glasgow

Friends of the Earth Gala Benefit The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. ()870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£4). A host of comedy starlets turn out in aid of the environmental charity.

Edinburgh

A Kick Up the Tabloids The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£4). Breaking news from around the world is treated with check. irreverence and blatant contempt from political polemicists Paul Sneddon. Susan Morrison and John Flint.

The Comedy Cave Nichol lidwards. Niddry Street. 556 8642. 9.30pm. £1. Weekly comedy club hosted by Chris Cave. featuring competitions. cheap drinks and high-jinx galore.

Thursday 20

Glasgow

The Grand Gong Show The Vault. 1 l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). See Thu 13. Laugh @ the Union Strathclyde University Union. 90 John Street. 552 1895. 8pm. £2. Michael Mcliwan introduces top patter merchants. Students and guests only.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. l.‘(iC Building. Renfrew Street. ()870 787 0707. 8.15pm. £7. Host Michael Legge is joined by the affable Will Smith. not so affable Brendon Burns and Irelanth Michael Smiley. Collage Comedy Radisson SAS Hotel. 301 Argyle Street. 204 3333. 8.30pm. Free. (ireg Cook joins Janey (iodley and Bratchy.

The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. ()870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). (iuest compere Bruce Morton introduces the musical talents of Newcastle comic (iavin Webster. plus Keara Murphy and Marjorie.

Edinburgh

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni Centre. (ireenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £8. The uncompromising humour of host Raymond Mearns paves the way for Mike Milligan and Dave Johns.