Phil rounds up the latest cinematic offerings
Continuing the recent trend of adding an action narrative to fitness videos to make the exercise more compelling comes Pilates of the Carribean. Simply sweat the pounds off in the searing heat as you keep up with the regular sessions of climbing the rigging. packing the canons. scrubbing the decks. pillaging. walking underwater. ‘fighting with swords'. rowing and heaving in the sails. In fact. anything that is done on a ship. Continuing the recent trend of spin- off diet videos linked to action narrative. enhanced. ocean-based adventure fantasy fitness videos comes Seabiscuit: the story of a wafer. Follow the simple. step by step. old sailor's recipe for this maritime staple and see how your general health is affected when you eat just one tasty biscuit with gruel for breakfast. another one with bugs in for lunch and whatever minerals you
can gnaw out of the salty woodwork for supper.
Hot on the heels of the recent trend in remaking any British movies that featured Michael Caine and Minis in comes Aileen: The Directors Cut./ This is a film centred on a female movie producer and her battle to bring in a Scottish City 0' God type movie. concentrating on three generations of Brazilian gangs. with the added pressure of the threats and violence the crew faced on location from the three generations of Brazilian gangs they were filming. There's the animated stOry of a small orange fish trying to find his son: House of a Thousand Corpses. and from Europe there's Bel/evil/e Rendez-Vous — a cartoon about a beautiful town meet-you.
On general release comes an expose of the attempt to turn around a history of elitism at universities and let in people from the country. It's called Matric Revolutions. Still on the subject of sports comes the almost physically prescient in its topicality The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's a film commissioned by the Football Association showing a number of premiership players in a story of fine conduct and how saving children from disasters. caring for wounded puppies and building a dam by hand to save a small village in Africa is better than clubbing. Cabin Fever sees the welcome return to form of someone who'd been inexplicably shit for a few movies. which makes you think for a while of the whole idea of how you can just think things are good simply because they are good for you. with a story of tension in the skies as a manic hijacker takes over a scheduled flight to the East Midlands by getting the captain in a lethal toe-hold with a pair of nail clippers he smuggled on board and demands the plane be re-
routed to Bristol.
Kill Bill: man goes on rampage after overpriced meal. Holes: golfing ‘drama' with Ed Norton. Second Hand Lions is real.
The Thursday Show The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £6 (£5). New resident host Frankie Boyle welcomes to the stage stand-up stalwart Stewart Francis. plus gag guarantors John Flint and Mike Boon.
The Snatch Social The Liquid Room. 9c Victoria Street. 225 2564. 10.30pm—5am. £3.50 (£3). See Thu l3.
Watson’s Wind-up (ilasgow Film Theatre. l2 Rose Street. 332 8128. 1—1.45pm. Free. See Fri l4.
The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £8 (£6»£7). (ireg (‘ook. Steven Dick and Kirsty Moss get the southside punters chortling. with a little help from compere Des McLean.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. lf(i(‘ Building. Renfrew Street. 0870787 0707. 8.l5pm. £l2. See Thu 20.
The Stand The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870600 6055. 9pm. £7 (£6). Canadian jokester Stewart Francis tops a bill which includes Miles Jtipp (oft seen tnasquerading as Bu/ummjv's Archie). plus John (iordon and Keara Murphy. Susan Morrison comperes.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni Centre. (ireenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £l5. Rick Right is the evening‘s leading man. with support from (ieordie funnyman Dave
Johns. Johnny (‘andon and host Raymond Mearns.
The Stand The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £7 (£6). Newcastle
japester (iavin Webster unleashes his
manic tirade. with support from John (iillick. lan Maephcrson. (iary Little and compete Jane Mackay.
The Improverts Bedlatn Theatre.
1 lb Bristo Place. 225 9893. l0.30pm. £3 (£2.50). See Fri 14.
The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l I I0 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £8
(£6 £7). See Fri 2| but with compere Alan Anderson.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. l7(}(‘ Building. Renfrew Street. 0870 787 ()707. 8.15pm. £13. See Thu 20.
The Stand The Stand. 33.3 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £8. See Fri 2] but with compere Jane Mackay.
Madcap Comedy Club State Bar. 148 Holland Street. 946 9289. 9.30pm. £5 (£4). Billy Bonkers introduces more gagsters from the local circuit.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni (‘entre. (ireenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. US. See Fri 21.
The Stand The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £8. See Fri 2|. Susan Morrison cracks the whip.
The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l l l() Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). More southside laughs courtesy of Vladimir McTayish. Scotise wordstnith Richard Allen. Archie Fudd and compere Janey (iodley. Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870600 6055. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). 2003 Perrier Newcomer nominee Miles Jtipp headlines. with (‘olin Ramone and deadpan host Redmond.
Whose Lunch is it Anyway? The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 1pm. Free. See Sun l6.
Bruce’s Sunday Social Fund The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). The wickedly vicious Bruce Devlin introduces local patter merchants John Flint and Keara Murphy.
Offside BB(‘. Main Reception. Queen Margaret Drive. 305 6602. 7pm. Free. See Mon l7.
The Comedy Quiz The Vault. l I ll) Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £l. See Mon 17.
Monday Mind Fcuk Strathclyde L'niversity L'nion. 90 John Street. 552 I895. 8—1 lptn. Free to students-£l. See Mon 17.
Open Mic Night The Liquid Lounge. 94 West Regent Street. 353 6333. 8pm. Free. See Mon 17.
Edinburgh Red Raw The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £1. See Tue 18.
Ross Noble Whitehall Theatre. 12 Belllield Street. 01382 434940. 8pm. £12.50. The (ieordie improv star spirals otlt of control with (,’III'(‘(I/!fllll’. Following month-long sell-out runs in Edinburgh and London. the surreal genius spreads his absurd word.
Red Raw The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. ()870 6006055. 8.30pm. £2. See Tue l8.
Melting Pot The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£4). New writers present their short comic theatre pieces.
The Reverend Obadiah Steppenwolfe III Charity Appeal The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. ()870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). The bible-bashing Rev gathers his faithful followers together for an unholy evening.
The Stand lmprov The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). Join the Stand Players as they etnbark on a quest into cometly's great unknown. Willi special guests frotn the circuit popping tip in proceedings. anything can happen.
The Comedy Cave Nichol Edwards. Niddry Street. 556 8642. 9.30pm. £1. See Wed 19.
The Grand Gong Show The Vault.
l I ll) Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). See Thu 20. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. l.'(}(‘ Building. Renfrew Street. ()870 787 0707. 8.15pm. £7. Alex Boardman welcomes Frankie Boyle. plus Simon B
Dara O’Brtaln Too famous for the Perrier? The bubbles must have gone to some heads during August. The stout Irishman is both wonderful and wicked. The Stand, Edinburgh, Thu 73—83! 75 Nov.
Colin Murphy This Northern Irish leprechaun has sharp teeth and he's not afraid to use them. See him and his incisive comedy as they go on the road. Paisley Arts Centre, Thu 73 Nov.
Jenny Eclair Looking increasingly like Su Pollard hasn’t made Ms Eclair any less funny. The last solo lady to scoop the Perrier is on a comedy mission. See preview. Fa/kirk Town Hall, Fri 74 Nov; Brunton Theatre. Edinburgh, Sat 75 Nov.
Big Word Performance Poetry The Southside gets a taste of the Big Word treatment. It's poetry. but not as we know it. The Vault, Glasgow, Tue 78 Nov.
Ross Noble Hundreds and thousands of punters have already been converted to Noble's (pictured) surreal brand of Sonic Waffle. Miss it and miss out. Whitehall Theatre, Dundee, Mon 24 Nov.
(‘otter and former Big Break/its! presenter Paul 'l‘onkinson.
Collage Comedy Radisson SAS Hotel. 301 Argyle Street. 204 3333. 8.30pm. Free. Jovanka Steele dellates the dumb blonde stereotype. Bedroom popstar Sandy Nelson and (ierry McDade help get the laughs in. The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. ()870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). Raymond Mearns introduces Canadian tnirthster (ilenn Wool. plus Leith's (’olin Ramone. Stand commandant Jane Mackay and 50 word storyteller Stephen Barnaby.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni ('entre. (ireenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £8. John Fothergill introduces David Kay. Stu Who‘.’ and (‘urtis Walker.
The Thursday Show The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £6 (£5). (iavin
Webster. lan Macpherson. Lara Silverstone
and host Frankie Boyle.
Reg Anderson’s Comedy Night Acanthus. l7 Waverley Bridge. 556 2358. 9pm. Free. Bill Dewar introduces Paul Sneddon. Teddy and Reg Anderson.
The Snatch Social The Liquid Room. 9c Victoria Street. 225 2564.
l0.30pm 5am. £3.50 (£3). Sec Thu 13.
13—27 Nov 2003 THE LIST 75