Phil sees brightness in a dark defeat

ark days fOr Scottish football. Is the strip now white on top? The

Dutch footballers have syntheSIsed theirs into a total orange. while

we have let the white triangles at the neck in the 70s grow through a sleeve chevron stage. growing retrospective flashes on the side into eventually taking over. I watch the first three-goal half in a real old bar where my options are Wine of the Month for six QLlld and Toasties Various. There is a sign on the door: ‘No children on premises.’ .Just in case you needed to be sure. A man I see watches the entire first half over his shoulder touching his pint. I talk to a man I guess to be Canadian about ice hockey and the fights in it. All around men are waiting for the goal. The moment Scotland score and they stand and cheer and realise they had lost control and sense a heart rate flying. Me. | just want great skills and nobody else is cheering that marvellous strike for the first goal. just that sucked out quiet of the stampede of the eyebrows down. A witty man starts to lose the sparkle in his shouting and lets it go completely when two women come into the middle. At one point he goes over to them and says: ‘We were actually winning until youse came in.‘ | see this as an unconscious relation back to something even more primal than the soccer: he supports his species. You have to lose at some point. Or else keep winning. and no team does that. It seems fine for Scotland to be in a game that has fabulous goals. There are three televrsions and | find myself watching the old fashioned one that looks like it is raining. All is well and it

dampens the brightness of defeat.

Sunday comedy showcase. llis supporting cast includes 'l‘eddy. \'i\ (iee. Gerry .\chade and compere Raymond Slearns.

Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand. 33.3 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). Liverpool wordsmith Richard Allen joins Sarah Ledger and the one-time I'tllllt’l' 727] star Michael Redmond.


Whose Lunch is it Anyway? The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 1pm. Free. Freeform funniness and hangover- banishing antics from resident duo Paul Graham and Stuart Murphy. Free(style) comedy doesn't get much better than this.

Bruce’s Sunday Social Fund The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). The Social’s resident host Bruce Devlin warms tip the crowd for Dougie l)unlop and Bratchy.


Offside BBC. Main Reception. Queen Margaret Drive. 305 6602. 7pm. Free. The beautiful game comes under the close scrutiny of Motherwell’s foremost pie-eater Tam Cowan. The tackles fly and the spectators cringe as (‘owan dishes otit his inimitable commentary on the weekend's football action for his weekly BBC Scotland chat show. Call for tickets or email ticketsm comedyunit

The Comedy Quiz The Vault. l I It) Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £1. Residettl host Chris Broomlicld offers comedy boflins the chance to hit the bullseye in his weekly qui/..

Monday Mind Fcuk Strathclyde L'niversity l'nion. 90 John Street. 552 1895. 8 l lptn. Free to students £1. The comedy quil. for all shapes and sizes. hosted by lil Prel. ('omedy Mike and the Little Lady. Students and guests only.

Open Mic Night The Liquid Lounge. 94 West Regent Street. 353 6333. 8pm. Free. Local comedy hero Raymond Mearns hosts this weekly open mic

night. showcasing a diverse band of merry entertainers. Fancy giving it a bash'.’ Then there's a free drink for every performer.


Red Raw The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £1. Natural born funnyman Dougie l)unlop guests at this weekly new comers' comedy showcase.


Red Raw The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 08706006055. 8.30pm. £2. Fight newcomers take their first steps on the road to comedy glory at this weekly try- out showcase.


The Comedy Network The Pleasance. 60 The Pleasance. 650 9195. 8pm. £37 £5. Alan (‘ochrane. lid Petrie and (ireg Davies indulge in student- friendly banter.

Jupp’s Juniors The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£4). lipper class gent .‘yliles Jtipp lowers himself to welcome to the stage the coarse wit of Dougie Dunlop. plus Nigel Buckland. Bratclty and Sarah Ledger.

Wednesday 3


Maverick Magic The Vault. l I ll) Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £3 (£2). Tricky Steven Dick mixes jokes and sleight of hand in his magic cabaret. The l)unfermline-born tnagician may also have a couple of surprises up his sleeve.

Bruce Morton Presents The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). A regular monthly slot for Scot-com institution Morton. who introduces a selection of the finest in up—aml-coming comedy talent.


Great Britain Explained The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). An irreverent look at everything from the Beatles and the Royals through Hugh Grant and Channel Island Nazis.

Ben Chester. Colin Ramone and Colin Simpson investigate everything great about our nation.

The Comedy Cave Nichol Edwards. Niddry Street. 07905 045573. 9.30pm. £1. Weekly comedy club hosted by Chris Cave. the comedy caveman. and featuring competitions. cheap drinks and high-jinx galore.


Dunfermline Comedy Club Carnegie Hall. East Port. 01383 314000. 9pm. £6.50. Ginger nutter John Flint sparks with comic invention. Mark Kelly stands up in support alongside host Richard Allen.


The Grand Gong Show The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 ()()()7. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). See Thu 27. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. UGC Building. Renfrew Street. 0870 787 0707. 8pm. £l9.95. Pop satirist Sandy Nelson takes down music‘s prima donnas. before introducing Canadian wit Tom Stade. Simon B Cotter and Geordie funnyman Dave Johns. Collage Comedy Radisson SAS Hotel. 301 Argyle Street. 204 3333. 8.30pm. Free. 1rish/lranian/Geordie funny lad Patrick Monaghan headlines. Support comes from BBC New Comedy Award finalist Des McLean and Allen Chalmers.

The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). Special guest compere Parrot paves the way for Welsh traditionalist Noel James. London-based Scottish scallywag Dougie l)unlop and former teacher Sarah Ledger.


0 Dave German’s Googlewhack Adventure George Square Theatre. University Of Edinburgh. George Square. 650 9195. 8pm. £16.50. Playing to much critical acclaim in Melbourne. followed by a sell-out festival run in August. Gorman brings his round-the-world obsessive compulsive adventure back to lidinburgh.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni Centre. Greenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £19.95. The always uncompromising Raymond Mearns introduces Irish musical comedian Joe Rooney. Brendatt Lovegrove (who's the Comedy Terrorist's writing partner) and Stu Who'.’ The Thursday Show The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £6 (£5). Resident compere Frankie Boyle introduces towering comedy figure Des Bishop. character comedian Dylan and 50 word storyteller Stephen Barnaby. Big Word Performance Poetry The Tron. 9 Hunter Square. High Street. 226 0931. 9—1 1pm. £3 (£2). Comic wordsmith Viv Gee headlines the latest Big Word instalment. Support comes from Dundee double act Balrueso. Leicester poet Steve Rooney and hardcore humorist Gary Death.

The Snatch Social The Liquid Room. 9e Victoria Street. 225 2564. l0.30pm«3am. £3.50 (£3). See Thu 27.


Michael Redmond and Mark Kelly Tolbooth. Jail Wynd. 01786 274000. 8pm. £6 (£4). More laughs frotn Stirling Comedy Club including the laconic humour of Redmond.


Watson’s Wind-up Glasgow Film Theatre. 12 Rose Street. 332 8128. 1»—l.45pm. Free. See Fri 28.

The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7.30pm. £6»—£8. Facially-blessed comedy terrier Patrick

listings Comedy


Glenn Wool The image- conscious, decidedly unwoolly Canadian returns to impart more eye-watering tales. The Stand, Glasgow, Thu 27 Nov; the Stand, Edinburgh, Fri 28 & Sat 29 Nov.

Rhona Cameron Ms Cameron gives the multimedia installation and non-linear narrative set a wake up call with a dose of home grown humour. Tramway, Glasgow, Fri 28 Nov. Off the Ball Tam Cowan and Stuart Cosgrove prove that they don’t only have faces for radio as they go on the road , making pit stops at theatres. conference centres and football grounds around the country. Touring, check listings.

Dave Gorman (pictured) Still among the few people uneducated in the ways of the ‘googlewhack'? Then get connected as our favourite obsessive compulsive does a final round of e-storytelling. George Square Theatre, Edinburgh, Thu 4 8. Fri 5 Dec.

::. Al Murray Last orders for the Pub Landlord who winds down his national tour in the itty-bitty surrounds of the Stand. The Stand, Edinburgh, Fri 5 8. Sat 6 Dec; the Stand, Glasgow, Sun 7 8 Mon 8 Dec.

Monahan effuses endlessly in the headline spot. Gary Delaney. Charlie Ross and compere Des McLean try to keep tip.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. UGC Building. Renfrew Street. 0870 787 (1707. 8pm. £19.95. See Thu 4.

The Stand The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £7 (£6). Irish/New York hybrid Des Bishop headlines. with support from patter merchant Dougie l)unlop. country butnpkin Dylan. 50-word story specialist Stephen Barnaby and compere Susan Morrison.


0 Al Murray - Pub Landlord The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 7.15pm. £16.50. National tour from the ranting landlord and Perrier winner. See preview.

27 NOV <1 1 Dec 2003 THE LIST 79