Events are listed by date, then city. Submit listings at least ten days before publication to comedy@list.co.uk, by post or by tax on 0131 557 8500. Listings are compiled by Maureen Ellis.

Glasgow

The Grand Gong Show The Vault.

l I If) Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 049 0007. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). A host of comics. magicians. poets. singers and all-round entertainers attetnpt to win over the audience and beat the gong. Anyone lastitig over five minutes will go forward to the final in February to cotnpete for £lk. Anyone interested in taking part should etnail newact2004(a laughing horse.co.uk

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. l'(i(‘ Building. Renfrew Street. ()870 787 0707. 8pm. £l9.95. Dave Johns headlines the festive showcase. with Tom Slade. Brian Higgitis and musical cotnpere Sandy Nelsott.

Collage Comedy Radisson SAS Hotel. 30l Argyle Street. 204 3333. 8.30pm. Free. Ireland's deadpan mirthster Michael Redtnond is joined by (‘hris Broomficld and Neil Mcl-‘arlane.

The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 000 0055. 9pm. £0 (£5). (iuest compere Bruce Morton welcomes to the stage 2003 Perrier Newcomer nominee Miles Jttpp. plus Iranian funny lady Sha/ia Mir/a and Nigel Buckland.

Edinburgh

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni ('cntre. (ireenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £19.95. The ballistic wit Raytnond Mearns introduces Brendon Dempsey. Brendhan Lovegrove and Stu Who'.’

The Thursday Show The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £0 (£5). Marian Pashley and political polemicist Ian Macpherson join a guest compere. Duck Downe The Laughing Duck. 24 Howe Street. 07905 045573. 9pm. £3. (‘amp cabaret packed full of fast and furious friyolity. competitions. silliness and gay-friendly fun.

Reg Anderson’s Comedy Night Acanthus. l7 Waverley Bridge. 550 2358. 9pm. Free. Reg ‘voodoo‘ Anderson introduces headliner Steven Dick. plus Dougie Munro and bekilted humorist John Scott.

The Snatch Social The Liquid Room. 9c Victoria Street. 225 2504. 10.30pm ~3atn. £3.50 (£3). A (’hristmas party special at the filth-fixated cabaret. comically compered by Tap Water Award winner Tony (‘arter and Harry Ainsworth (aka Perrier Newcomer winner (iarth Cruikshank) back from the dead.

Glasgow

Watson’s Wind-up (ilasgow l-‘ilm Theatre. 12 Rose Street. 332 8128.

1 1.45pm. Free. Only an litt‘us‘t' writer Jonathan Watson returns with a new series of his satirical radio show. (‘all for tickets or email tickets(a cotnedyunit. eo.uk

The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l I I0 I’olIokshaws Road. Shawlands. 049 0007. 7.30pm. £0 £8. Tipped as a favourite of the Big Yin himself. Des McLean headlines. with support from Mark Bratchpiece. Sandra Johnston and compete Alan Anderson. Eddie lzzard Sli('(‘. Iiinnieston Quay. 08700404000. 8pm. S()I.D ()I'T. The master of surreal comic invention gets ‘Sexie’ iti his ttational arena tour. See preview.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. I'(i(' Building. Renfrew Street. 0870 787 0707. 8pm. £l9.95. See Thu l l.

Ian Macpherson’s acclaimed Fringe show comes to The Stand, Edinburgh, Tue 16 Dec

The Stand The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 08700000055. 9pm. £7 (£0). Topical comedy master Frankie Boyle tops a bill which includes ellin alcopop- swilling comedian Lucy Porter. plus (‘olin Mc(iil|. Nigel Buckland and compere Vladimir Mc'l'ayish.

Edinburgh

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni Centre. (ireenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £19.95. See Thu I 1.

Phil Kay The Tron. 9 Hunter Square. High Street. 07980 547830. 8.30pm. £0 (£5). Scotland's free-form comedy maestro takes you on a surreal journey into his unpredictable itnagination.

The Stand The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £7 (£0). Perrier nominee and Scottish comedy's great uncle Bruce Morton headlines. Iranian comedian Sha/ia Mir/a stands tip in support with (ireg McIIugh and host Jane Mackay.

Glasgow

The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l I 10 I’ollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 049 0007. 7.30pm. £0 £8. SHE/T host Des Clarke. who ranks at very adtnirable seventh in our Hot 100 feature. headlines. with Mark Bratchpiece. Sandra Johnston and compere Bruce Morton.

Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. I'(i(‘ Building. Renfrew Street, 0870 787 0707. 8pm. £19.95. ('onfrontational host Raymond Mearns introdttces Brendon Dempsey. Stu Who'.’ and the (‘omedy 'l'errorist's writing partner Brendhan l.ovegrove.

Eddie Izzard Sli(‘(‘. Iiinnieston Quay. 0870 040 4000. 8pm. S()l.l) ()I'T. See Iiri l2.

The Stand The Stand. 33.3 Woodlands Road. 0870000 0055. 9pm. £8. See Iiri l2.

Madcap Comedy Club State Bar. I48 Holland Street. 940 9289. 9.30pm. £5 (£4). Billy Bonket's introduces more gagsters from the local circuit.

Edinburgh

Off the Ball Brunton Theatre. Ladywell Way. .‘yltisselburgh. 08700 l00l25. lptn. I’ree. but ticketed. Stuart (‘osgrove and Tam (‘owan take the cult footie show on the road to celebrate Radio Scotland's 25th anniversary. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni (‘entre. (ireenside Place, 08707 870707. 8pm. £l‘).95. I.ashings of festive cheer courtesy of Brian Higgins. David Kay. Mike Milligati and Simon B (‘otter.

The Stand The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £8. UH’ I'llmn' Shaw's kilted campster (‘raig Hill swings into action in the headline spot. His supporting cast includes comedy pilot Sha/ia Mir/a. (ireg Mclltigh and host Jane Mackay.

Glasgow

The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l I I0 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 049 0007. 7.30pm. £4 (£3). The always uncompromising Raymond Mearns introduces pttt down master (iordon Brtmton. pltis Reg Anderson atid (iary Little.

Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 08700000055. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). Iranian political comedian Sha/ia Mir/a is the evening's leading lady. (ireg Mcllugh and host Michael Redmond also guest.

Edinburgh

Whose Lunch is it Anyway? The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. Iptn. l’ree. I‘reel'orm funniness arid hangover- banishing antics from resident duo Patil (iraham and Stuart Murphy. l‘reelstyle) cotnedy doesn‘t get much better than this.

listings Comedy

Eddie Izzard ‘Cross- dressing surrealist seeks comedy fanatics for Sexie time.’ You answered in your tens of thousands. But if you can‘t get your paws on a brief then the vid and the lippy make very acceptable consolation prizes. See preview. SECC, Glasgow, Fri 72 & Sat 73 Dec.

Off the Ball Last chance to catch Stuart Cosgrove and Tam Cowan live as they continue to toast Radio Scotland with lashings of their beautiful banter. Brunton Theatre, Musse/burgh, Sat 73 Dec.

Ian Macpherson Special None of this support act nonsense for Irish wit Macpherson. He assumes the role of supporter and Iamenter with considerable insight and style. The Stand, Edinburgh, Tue 76 Dec.

Nina Conti Famous parentage. RSC experience and a profanity-spouting monkey make this fair lass one of the most fascinating comedians around. The Vault, Glasgow, Fri 2—Sun 4 Jan.

Bruce’s Sunday Social Club The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). Marian Pashley and ('olin Mc(iill sign up for Bruce Devlin's weekly sociable gathering.

Glasgow

Offside BB(‘. Main Reception. Queen Margaret Drive. 305 0002. 7pm. Free. The beautiful game comes under the close scrutiny of Motherwell’s foremost pie-eater Tam ('owan. The tackles fly and the spectators cringe as ('ow an dishes otit his inimitable commentary on the weekend's football action for his weekly BB(' Scotland chat show. ('all for tickets or email tickets(a‘comedyunit .co.uk

The Comedy Quiz The Vault. l I ll) Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 049 0007. 7.30pm. £1. Resident host (This Broomfield offers comedy boll-ins the chance to hit the bullseye in his weekly quil.

Monday Mind Fcuk Stt'athclyde I'niversity I‘nion. 90 John Street. 552 l895. 8 l lptn. Free to students £1. The comedy qui/ for all shapes and sizes. hosted by lil Prel. (‘omedy Mike and the Little Lady. Students and guests only.

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