Buckland and headliner Jo Jo Sutherland show the stand-up try-outs how it‘s
done. i 0 J20’s Last Laugh Comedy Search The Vault. 1 I 10 Pollokshaws 5 Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. J20 combs the nation‘s grassroots venues to find the ‘ stand-up stars of tomorrow.
Jupp’s Juniors The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£4). Landed gent Miles Jupp hosts this monthly showcase of aspiring comedy talent.
Glasgow 0 Bobath Comedy Benefit Jongleurs. UGC Building. Renfrew
THE FUUNIEST SHOWS THIS FORTNIGHT
Tea for two weeks for the new urban outfitter
I took a week off from writing the column —
g .. a tiny wee cough, a chesty sabbatical, a phlegm-filled t'weeks off, a fortnight respite, half month slight break, a forthright birthright, well-earned rest, like.
Now I am back jack, rehabiting the shack mac that l in fact assemble on that laptop. 1 am not a Mac-hack or a cruncher of the Apple Mac or an iMac. That's right mate, that I carry in the rucksack backpack with the knick-knacks and flapjacks in there back to back in that flip—top, flat-packed backpack.
l sip a lapsang souchang, a Lapland write mind, teardrop of sunshine for the fine lines I rap write. Such a fine time new line, an ylang ylang new thang:
ying yang sing song with the Shanghai infusion warming solution.
I can't love the pyramid bag: I am no geometric brew slag, hagging on the tipped bag, round bag. I feel my own strength flag watching design inform the sag in the bag trade. There's a Lipton-PJ-Typhoo conspiracy. Seriously, leave
I like to rap as i write. and dance and rap. I just can't dance and write.
Step aside, Justin, your journalism sucks man. I'm dissing your columns, lamb. Move ova Jay-Z. Hover over you the saviour, I am just a flavour. Run DMC, evade the text that we can see doing a critique of I'm a Celebrity. . . on the TV. The Streets completes his aesthetes' neat beats, intellectual mouth-suites well clear from the ruled sheets.
Still, can you imagine the OutKast reviewing a Panto at the Kings? Or setting the crossword? That's basically my point: that it would be interesting to read what a rapper would write if they were restricted to an established framework. Could the untied crowd-free tongue be a good read? Could the
upright mic guys nail text stand-up?
The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. 1 1 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 9pm. £8. Joe Heenan introduces John Gillick and Toby Hadcock.
Madcap Comedy Club State Bar. 148 Holland Street. 946 9289. 9.30pm. £6 (£5). Phil Kay headlines.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. Omni Centre. Greenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £13. See Thu 26.
The Stand The Stand, 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £8. See Fri 27 but with compete Susan Morrison.
Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road, 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). Nick Doody and Kiwi comic Simon McKinney guest.
The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. 1 l 10 Pollokshaws Road, Shawlands. 649 0007. 9pm. £5. The Stand‘s commandant Jane Mackay joins pop satirist Sandy Nelson and host Bruce Devlin.
Whose Lunch is it Anyway? The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 1pm. Free. See Sun 22.
Reg Anderson’s Comedy Night The Lighthouse. 32—34 The Shore. Leith. 554 9465. 8pm. £5. Big laughs courtesy of Parrot and Des McLean.
Bruce’s Sunday Social Club The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). Raymond Mearns and John Gordon guest
Sirius Comedy Bar Sirius. Dock Place. Leith. 07905 045573. 9.30pm. £5 (£3.50). The funnybones of Leith are tickled in this monthly night. competed by Jo Jo Sutherland.
Red Raw The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £1. Simon McKinney and headliner Nigel Buckland shepherd the stand-up sucklings through their paces.
Glasgow Bed Raw The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £2. Host Nigel
Street. 0870 787 0707. 8pm. £12 (£10). Former Grange Hill star Francesca Martinez. who suffers frotn cerebral palsy. helps trade laughs for cash itt this beneﬁt for Bobath Scotland.
Dance, Monkey Boy, Dance The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 8.45pm. £5. See Wed 25 only Fred MacAulay guests. Bruce Morton Presents The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). ()1‘ Bruce is back to showcase some emerging comedians. including Ian Macpherson and Esmond.
Edinburgh Reg Anderson’s Fun Quiz Night Acanthus. l7 Waverley Bridge. 556 2358. 8pm. Free. See Wed 25. Great Britain Explained The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). Ben Chester. (‘olin Rarnone and Colin Simpson investigate everything geat about our nation.
J20’s Last Laugh Comedy Search Nichol Edwards. Niddry Street. 556 8642. See Tue 2.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. UGC Building. Renfrew Street. 0870 787 0707. 8pm. £7. Miles Crawford introduces Steve Hughes. Sandy Nelson and Michael Smiley.
, New Talent Night The Vault. l l l()
Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 9pm. £5. See Thu 19.
The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). Resident Thursday compere Raymond Mearns introduces Fred MacAulay. Ian Macpherson. New Deal comedian Tony Carter and Nick Davis.
0 Bobath Comedy Benefit Jongleurs. ()mni Centre. Greenside Place. 08707 870707. 8pm. £12 (£10). See Wed 3. Other comedians lining up are Mike Milligan. Michael Redmond. Michael Smiley and Marcus Brigstocke.
The wry southerner imbibes the southside atmosphere. The Vault, Glasgow, Fri 20—Sun 22 Feb.
I Natalie Haynes The funny lady with a penchant for students. who was ‘Troubled Enough’ at last year‘s Fringe, returns to divulge her seriously funny lectures. The Pleasance, Edinburgh, Tue 24 Feb.
ﬂ Dance, Monkey Boy, Dance Tommy Sheridan is either very brave or very stupid: he's agreed to be the latest monkey boy to appear in the improv showcase. The Vault, Glasgow, Wed 25 Feb. J20’s Last Laugh Comedy Search Aspiring stand-ups compete for the chance to win cash, a career and gallons of very fizzy orange. The Vault, Glasgow, Tue 2 Mar; Nichol Edwards, Edinburgh, Wed 3 Mar. Francesca Martinez Bobath Scotland signs up the former Open Mic award winner to be their poster girl for two nights of worthy laughs. Jongleurs, Glasgow, Wed 3 Mar; Jongleurs, Edinburgh, Thu 4 Mar.
Big Word Performance Poetry The Tron. 9 Hunter Square. High Street. 226 0931. 9~-l lpm. £3 (£2). Dcadpan verse specialist Dominic Waxing Lyrical is joined by Paul Birtill. Sean McBride and
1 Julie Dawid. Rob (iee comperes. ‘ Duck Downe The Laughing Duck. 24 ' Howe Street. 07905 045573. 9pm. £3. See
The Thursday Show The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £6 (£5).
C ompere Jane Mackay welcomes Tony
- Burgess. (ireg Mcllugh and Mike Boon.
19 Fob—4 Mar 2004 THE LIST 75