aggression but it is distilled into an altogether more accessible. if hit and miss. collection of songs. Perry remains ever present. though further in the background than before. contributing the more traditional. il‘ expansive tracks including the spookily Madonna-like lighter—waver ‘Waiting for Love‘.

So Pink‘s punk‘.’ Well kind of. Pop'.’ Most certainly. In reality. Pink‘s conversion from R&B funkateer into punk rock chick is only partially based in truth. She may have been keeping good company by having Peaches. Korn‘s Jonathan Davis and Blink 182‘s Travis Barker trading riffs on the record but it remains coated in a glossy pop sheen and there are more hooks present than on a fly lisherman‘s hat. But remember. when it comes to pop music. being brilliant is way more important being credible.

This is something Pink knows for sure. Her ability to grab headlines is second to none: her ‘feuding‘ with Christina Aguilera. getting kitted out in gladiatorial garms for a Pepsi ad and that old tabloid staple. kissing girls. Like Madonna before her. she has flirted with lesbianism despite enjoying lengthy relationships with men. most recently motocross rider (‘arey Hart. She was snapped slipping some tongue to 'Ierminutm' 3 star Kristianna l.oken at the World Music Awards late last year. It has also been noted that many of her female entourage including her stylists and assistants are gay. She remains sensibly light-hearted about the oft-covered subject of her sexual orientation.

‘They [my friends] are trying to convert me. but I definitely like penises.‘ she told US music mag Blender. ‘1 just like strong. assertive. independent. tough women. and they happen to be gay.‘

Gay. straight or all of the above. at the heart of Pink‘s music is a degree of universal hedonism. She can be as wistful. angry or despairing as required. but there remains an inherent element of fun. the Beck-penned ‘lr‘eel (iood Time‘ being a prime example. and this is something that transfers into her live show. More than the untouchable divas. she‘s fantastic but not a fantasy. She‘s attainable. accessible. and in her own words. a ‘freak‘ but ‘real‘.

‘I don‘t live up to anything. and I don‘t have a part to fill.‘ she told Blender: ‘I saw Kiss on a talk show and they‘re businessmen in suits with no make up and they were like “who we are onstage is completely different from who we are in real life.“ I don‘t relate to that at all. I don‘t want to be somebody else.‘

And maybe that‘s it. Pink hasn‘t been created to fulfil

one marketer‘s model and she is now showing signs of

being someone who might just stand the test of time.

That doesn‘t happen for everyone of course. In IUD-l. not long after Kurt Cobain had just ceased his whining and shuffled off this mortal coil. shotgun under his arm. his

place on the throne of rock introspection had a new set of

checks resting on it: Alanis Morissette‘s. Her debut album Jagged Little Pill sold a monstrous 30 million copies worldwide. lb million in North America alone. 'l‘oday. four albums down the line. Morissette is a cult hero rather than world beating icon. She - like that other diminutive angst peddler Avril Lavigne —- got a one-way ticket out of the pop kingdom to languish in (‘ultsville because. unlike. (‘lter. Diana Ross. Madonna and arguably Pink. they just cannot adapt to survive. They were limited in their appeal to start with and those angsty teens grow up and the ones after them find someone else to encapsulate and express their feelings of alienation. This is maybe why Pink will last. She‘ll grow up. adapt and. inevitably survive.

She‘s not afraid to piss people off on the way either. Prince William wanted Pink to perform at his birthday celebrations last year. She wrote back asking if he‘d stopped hunting game in Africa. ‘1 just told him. “You‘re being ignorant and maybe you‘re uneducated and if you want to call me I‘ll educate you.“‘ She hasn‘t heard back from him.

Rocking arenas. being a teen role model. selling millions of records. and educating royals -- life‘s pretty full when you‘re Pink.

Pink is at the 8600, Glasgow, Wed 31 Mar & Thu 1 Apr.

llVEFOIiEllEIl?

They have just one name and just one mission: to go down in the annals of pop history. Pink is trying it but who will she be hanging with in the diva hall of fame?

POINTS MA The music The dz ddy (mummy?) of them all with two duff 10 albums (I’m Breathless and American Life) out of nine in two i. " :.. - decades. Near impeccable. . . The antics Even marrying mockney twit Guy Ritchie and “jar. ’3‘ writing kids‘ books can be turned into controversial, * groundbreaking moves. Neither beats the Sex book though. 10

Staying power She tops even David Bowie with her chameleon-like antics so therefore will be around for ever.

3O

The music Pretty great. ‘I Got You Babe' and 'Beat Goes On' weren't just flukes y'know.

The antics Committed the most spectacular incidence of pop video phallus abuse in the ‘Turn Back Time‘ promo by sitting on a gigantic cannon on a US Navy battleship. Surrounded by sailors. In two pieces of ribbon and a biker jacket.

Staying power ‘Believe’ was the biggest selling single by a woman in the UK ever. She'll be back when she can be arsed.

10

27

The music A mix of painful (‘I Should Be 80 Lucky‘), sassy ('Confide in Me’) and genius (‘Can‘t Get You Out of My Head') The antics Scores high for dating ‘mad‘ Michael Hutchence but loses points for not marrying Nick Cave when she had the chance. Then of course there‘s her arse, an entity in itself. Staying power The boomerang effect. Her comeback after her fallow 90$ indie period was nothing shon of seismic. The Diana Ross of her generation. but in a good way.

The music Made the best single of last year with ‘Crazy in Love“ but it‘s a lonely star for her in pop‘s glittery cosmos. But that is a BIG hit.

The antics Shaking that ass absolutely everywhere. dating Jay-Z. shaking that ass . . . errn that's it.

Staying power The potential for more pop nuggets rather than chicken nuggets is high. Could eclipse Whitney Houston's success in the 803 if she stays away from boys and drugs . . .

The music Patchy. Despite haying perhaps the finest voice among the contemporary bunch, ‘Dirrrty‘ and ‘Beautiful’ are the only memorable tunes in her musical legacy so far.

The antics Spectacularly careless spelling. spectacularly arseless slacks and spectacularly picking fights with anyone who will listen. And mostly winning.

Staying power Unlikely to grow old gracefully but that might just be what's needed. Think a gusset flashing Shirley Bassey.

The music She did ‘Shout' and then that rubbish one with Take That about 30 years later. She should be about 1 13 when her next chart smash comes around.

The antics Despite being a professional Weegie rnunter. marrying the dead Bee Gee with the hat gives her a degree of hipness. Showed up at T in the Park a few years back. Scary. Staying power Oddly persistant. Album on the way and a tour with some kid out of Fame Academy. Look up your grandpas!

The music ‘Hit Me Baby' still ranks as one of the finest pop songs of all time but it‘s been a downhill trajectory ever since. The antics Not shagging Justin Timbertoes and having a day- long. pretend marriage to a high school pal isn‘t quite in the rock‘n'rollcrackwhoreorgy category but what do you expect from a someone who hung out with Mickey Mouse as a kid? Staying power One single just ain't enough, is it? Unlikely to see out the decade in pop. Look out for her presenting QVC.

The music She had some hits . . . there was that one . . . du- du-du-daa so macho . . . oh yeah. . . nope sorry, it‘s gone.

The antics Paltry. Was discovered while ‘working‘ with David Essex in South Pacific. A grass skirt is below even Cher‘s stylist. Was dating Simon Callow at the peak of her infamy.

Staying power She had ailing with Brad Pitt in 1998 but that was the last we heard of her.

lrt Mar ‘. Apr ;)l)(‘:.'. THE LIST 15