The Bureau of O&&ities

Answer machine

He first rose to attention as Dr Martin Sorote on Jonathan Ross’ Last Resort and is now presenting a radio quiz, Jammin’. But why is ROWLAND RIVRON so down on Mick Huoknall and Marrakech?

Apparently in your new series, you get the Krankies to perform as the White Stripes. Can it be true?

As good as. Its the Krankies in the shape of Steve Furst and Katrina from Katrina and the Waves doing the White Stripes.

When did you last cry?

It was at the Peter Pan film that was on over Christmas and someone drops dead or something. So. you're in the Cinema With your kids and you're trying to make out some’hing's wrong with your glasses. I wasn't alone.

Who’s the best dressed British celebrity?

By default. it's got to be Paul Smith. He's got \".’<’l."(ll()l)()f3 in every czty and they're massive

What song would you hate to be played at your funeral?

No disrespect to the musicianship. but anything by Simpty Red. Miok throwng his orb in there would upset the deceased and more or less even/one in the room. l'here's something about Mick llucknail that no one seems to want to come in contact with. Musicians or comedians: who’s harder? Musicians are forever on the back foot. they sort of glide in. drift about as tnosgh on wheels. lhey never feel as though they have to establish a stance.

Whereas comedians are never quite Sure of the credentials they're bringing to the table so they are a bit more feisty,

What’s your least favourite place?

l (lid a holiday show in Marrakech and l was given this rose-tinted wage of the place. I got there in mid- afternoon and it was slightly drizzling and the big dusty mud town square was Just a stinking hellhole. And every time we stopped to buy lunch, it would be com; cous With a bit of :ainb on top for 38p so when I said 'l've got a five pound note. what can we do’?‘ they JUSI said ‘you can have a fuck of a lot of what you've got in front of you there.’

What’s your favourite biscuit?

It's got to be the Rich Tea, Simple pleasures. When I used to work in studios. rather than stop and have a full meal. you'd iust coast all day on coffee and dunkable Rich Teas. Food of the gods.

When did you last laugh out loud while reading a book?

I'm currently reading the Bill Hicks book. I could never really understand his appeal and why everyone v-ras so reverential. But spending a bit of time reading those transcripts. I can see it now.

Cats or dogs?

I hate both with a vengeance. My house is slowly turning into a mo: x'ue've got a rabbit. fish. hamsters. canaries. that sort of stuff. But I draw the line at the salivating, lapping. shitting things and those territory- spraying. ewleyed cats. I don't want to share a house with something that's got one up on me in a psychic way.

Do you have an unlucky number?

When I used to play basketbali at school. for some o'>scure reason I alts-rays had the number 13 shirt. And I wasn't xery good.

What’s the punchline to your favourite joke? Pink.

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