here to play pass the parcel"

MGF waves farewell to clubs

I Insider really cannot be arsed this issue. Bad pills and a monumental case of morphine abuse-linked amnesia have led to the fact that Insider doesn't have a lot to say. Which is handy because here is a man who really does have a lot to say. DC Jackson. one half of The List's Glasgow Fabulous comic strip duo. is here to say adieu to the clubs page. This is lump of the throat stuff. people: ‘I would like to take this opponunity to apologise on behalf of both MJ Collin (my live-in lover and co-conspirator) and myself for any damage we may have inadvertently caused to the career of Glasgow's legendary Jengaheads. When we started Glasgow Fabulous way back in 2001. the Jengaheads had a thriving deejay career. They had a sought-after graveyard slot on a local radio station (Scot FM, if memory serves). a moderately successful club night in Alaska and a Saturday job playing records in a clothes shop. If our snide wee comic strip has been in any way responsible for their career dying the death it so obviously has then I can only say sorry and make clear that that was not our intention. Still, I'd like to wish them luck with the cynical rebranding exercise they are currently engaged in. I'm sure no-one will realise that hip. upcoming young deejay Mash is in fact one of the much derided. hoary old Jengaheads. Although some people do still call a Snickers a Marathon . . .' Glasgow Fabulous may be waving goodbye to Clubs, but it's not the last you'll hear from the Weegie reprobates: a new cartoon strip, Ubiquitous Girl is launched next issue here at the front of the magazine.

I Having just spent two weeks in a cave smoking moss with the kids who used to be in the seminal rap duo Kris Kross, Insider is clearly now an expert on all things hip hop. So Insider was more than perturbed to find that

Goin down to the country

ll Insider recently hopped the train to Dundee. to the Celtic Film and Television Festival, to check out a new Scottish tilm. Blinded. which stars Peter Mullan and Jodhi May. Blinded. Insider was delighted to find. is written and directed by an acquaintance. Eleanor Yule. a young filmmaker who's so far distinguished herself largely through documentary making. She told Insider that Blinded was made for a mere £380,000. from a script

The Front

‘l’ve already called Justin Timberlake, but unfortunately he hasn’t got back

to me.’

George Michael confesses to fancying an onstage Madonna/Christina/ Britney-style face-off with Timbertoes.

Eleanor Yule‘s Blinded

‘She kicked my arse. She physically beat me up. I was surprised how hard she can punch}

Scooby-Doo 2 screenwriter James Gunn on the moment when Sarah Michelle Ge/lar chose to express her objections over his script.

‘I’m going home with eight broken ribs, a broken neck and smashed collar bone but I’m going home with more than I came with. I’m worth more in scrap metal than I’m worth in anything else.’

Ozzy Osbourne on the blower to his missus as he prepares to leave hospital.

‘It was divine intervention. I said a little prayer to Our Lady of Guadalupe, the patroness of Mexico and the Americas, when I hit the jackpot’

Guadalupe Lopez, mum of Jenny, after winning £7 .3m from an Atlantic City slot machine.

written in just 21 days (while Yule was looking after her bin lid, that's kid in

Cockney rhyming slang. by the way). That the film got made under those to say the least minimal conditions is a feat in itself; that Blinded is really very good is nothing short of astounding, especially when you consider Film Council-funded crap like Sex Lives of the Potato Men. made on a far larger budget. Insider was. therefore. all the happier to hear from the film's producer, Oscar van Heek, that Blinded is to be screened in August‘s Edinburgh International Film Festival and that it is also in the running to play


When Nas met Nasa

the Hip Hop Appreciation Society is planning a day at NASA‘s headquarters in Washington DC to promote math and science to the kids. The one day event on 19 May will involve members of the hip hop community. spiritual leaders and NASA scientists with Nas. Chuck D

‘A guy who screws 60 people a week, for some reason, is cool. But if you get married five times and it doesn’t work out you are some bizarro.’

Billy Bob Thornton reflects on the break-up of his marriage with Angelina Jolie.

‘I was naked in the kitchen and burnt my penis. I really ruined my evening; and my night.’

Jamie Oliver takes his role as the Naked Chef a little too literal/y.

iv . _. j; ~1.-_ 1-: -* ,4/g r... o“ J

and Afrika Bambaataa among those who may speak. All of which is. of course. very commendable but not as much fun as licking the sweat off the calves of jewellery-wearing midgets. or being allowed to be an astronaut if you are an ethnic minority in the US today


15—29 Apr 2004 me LIST 9