Phil waves ta ta with a final ﬂourish
Goodbye: how does one say goodbye to a lovely dolphin that has been trained to respond to your voice and has gone up several skill levels and could help underprivileged children in aquatic-based
therapies yet is about to fall into the hands of an obscure wing of Government and may be used now to secure magnetic mines on the bottom of oil tankers? Swiftly, and in a way that makes them believe you really don't want to see them again. To save thorn you exile them from your heart.
How do you say goodbye? What is this goodbye thing if you were always just a being anyway and the goodbye is itself another being 'land' you were never joined. then goodbye is just a negative prophecy? Then you have to keep the thing ended to maintain the point of saying goodbye. It's badbye then. How do you say goodbye to a house you have owned for 40 years as the lava river heads down the hillside at a surprising rate to meet with the forest fires at the already earthquake-ruined structure? Without the lingering feng shui in the corners and hoovering behind the fridge.
I am saying fare thee well to this space what I have wrote in for many. many inches. I shall still write everywhere and l shall still have ideas. it is just they will be released into the grand pasture of not-here. away from inside this fairly square corral. It is really the space that is saying goodbye. How do you say a good goodbye. a fond ciao. a touching sayonara to the sun? What's the point? It is going nowhere and really as soon as it is off on a circle. it is approaching again. All goodbyes are hellos that are started early.
You say goodbye. I say hello.
As we never shared a kidney then, hello. scram. you're not a real fish at all. you abandoned the tuna as soon as the nets got close. Thanks. house.
for marvellous shelter Over the years.
The Vault Comedy Club Karaoke Night The Vault. lllt) Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7pm. Free. Karaoke night at the Vault shotild guarantee a few good tunes and plenty of laughs.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. U(i(‘ Building. Renfrew Street. ()8707 870707. 8pm. £7. (‘omedy night with tough talker Raymond Mearns. Joe lleenan. inventive and engaging (ieordie performer Dave Johns and the ltigubrious Mike (iunn.
The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). Roger Monkhouse (see panel) teams tip with (iraeme Thomas and Simon McKinney.
The Thursday Show The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £6 (£5). Warm-hearted Irish racontettr Michael Smiley. Richard Allen. (‘olin Mc(iill and Ian Fox start the weekend off with plenty of laughs. all kept in order by a mystery guest host.
The Snatch Social The Liquid Room. 9c Victoria Street. 225 2564. 10.30pm—3am. £4 (£3.50). See Thu 15.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. t.’(i(‘ Building. Renfrew Street. 08707 870707. 8pm. £l2 See Thu
Madcap Comedy Club The State Bar. 148 Holland Street. 332 2159. 9pm—midnight. £5 (£4). Local comedian Mark Bratchpiece fronts this stand tip show with ample support from host Billy Bonkers and art array of guests.
The Stand The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £7-—£8 (£6). Roger Monkhouse (see panel) lines tip next to Michael Mee. bekilted wonder boy John Scott and (‘olin Mc(iill for an evening laughs hosted by Jane Mackay. The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l I 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 9pm. £8. Des McLean introduces an array of comedy buddies including the musically minded Satidy Nelson. Bill Dewar and Reg '\'oodoo’ Anderson.
The Bedlam lmproverts Bedlam Theatre. 1 lb Bristo Place. 225 9893. 10.30pm. £3.50 (£3). See Fri 16. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()tnni Centre. (ireenside Place. ()8707 870707. 8pm. £12. (‘razy comic Stti Who‘.’ takes to the floor with Tanyalee Davis. the boldest little lady in stand in stand-up. plus Mike Milligan and northern star Mark Hurst.
The Stand The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £7 (£6). (‘harming lrishtnan Michael Smiley. political comedian Richard Allen. Teddy and [an Fox lay on the laughs for the weekend crowd. supported by a guest host.
Madcap Comedy Club The State Bar. 148 Holland Street. 332 2159. 9pm——midnight. £5 (£4). Local comedian Mark Bratchpiece fronts this stand-up show with ample support from his family. including Bratcby. Martin and Wee Man. plus host Billy Bonkers. Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ll(i(‘ Building. Renfrew Street. ()8707 870707. 8pm. £13. See Thu 22.
The Stand The Stand. 333 thxllands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £8. See Fri 23.
The Vault Comedy Club The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 9pm. £8. See Fri 23 but Des McLean is replaced by liast [ind lady Janey (iodley.
Jongleurs Comedy Club Jongleurs. ()mni ('entre. (ireenside Place, 08707 870707. 8pm. £13. See Fri 23.
The Stand The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £8. See Fri 23 btit with compere Bruce Morton.
Michael Redmond’s Sunday Service The Stand. 333 Wotxllands Road. 08706006055. 8.30pm. £4 (£3).
1 Monday 26 .
Topical tnirthster Richard Allen and
t (‘olin McGill are this week‘s guests at f the cit-Father 'Ii’d star's unholy show. The Sunday Show The Vault. l l l()
Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649
()007. 9pm. £5. Vladimir McTavish
introduces The Reverend ()bediah
7 Steppenwolfe Ill. Dunfertnline card
: trickster Stephen Dick and John Sinclair.
. Edinburgh Bruce’s Sunday Social Club The
Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 8.30pm. £4 (£3). Wicked side tickler Bruce Devlin hosts with guests Michael Mee.
local comedian John Scott and Steven
Jerry Sadowitz Queen's Hall. (‘lerk Street. 668 2019. 8.30pm. £15.50 (£12.50). See Fri 16.
Fun in the Doghouse The Doghouse. 13 Brown Street. 01382 227080. 8pm. £5. New comedy night brings laughs out of the Dundee Doghouse.
' The Comedy Social The Vault. lllt)
Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 6pm. Free. See Mon 19.
Edinburgh Red Raw The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 g 7272. 8.30pm. £1. Jo Jo Sutherland ' ushers a clutch of newcomers through
the winding corridors of comedy. accompanied by headliner Paul McNeill.
Classic Comedy Videos The Vault. l l 10 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 6pm. Free. See Tue 20.
Red Raw The Stand. 33.3 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 8.30pm. £2. Tony (‘arter and (iary Little give a helping hand to beginners on the stand-up scene.
‘ Comedy Gala Assembly Rooms. 54
(ieorge Street. 220 4349. 7.30pm. £10. A special night of comedy featuring Adam Bloom. Lucy Porter and Andre Vincent. Melting Pot The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £5 (£4). All hail the comedy referendum as new writers present their short comic theatre pieces. with the winner decided by the audience.
Dance, Monkey Boy, Dance The Vault. l 1 l0 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 9pm. £6. See Wed 21.
The Reverend Obadiah Steppenwolfe Ill Charity Appeal The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm. £6 (£5). There ain‘t no
- charity in this new monthly show from the hard talking evangelist.
The Comedy Cave Nichol lidwards. Niddry Street. 556 8642. 9pm. £2. See Wed 21.
The Stand lmprov The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £4 (£3). Join the Stand Players as they embark on a quest into comedy‘s great unknown.
ISISSUE'S Ult BOIHERS AD SISTERS
Glen Wool In 2003, our favourite incisive. witty Canadian comedian brought us Things That Occurred to Me Last Year. For 2004, who knows? But it'll be amusing for sure. Jongleurs, Edinburgh, Fri 76 Apr.
Jerry Sadowitz He may be a cuddly bunny offstage, but on it. boy is he crude. cruel and callous. Yet hilarious with it. Paisley Town Hall, Fri 16 Apr; Greenock Arts Guild, Sat 24 Apr; Queen ’3 Hall, Edinburgh, Sun 25 Apr; Cumbernauld Theatre, Thu 29 Apr.
Ricky Cervais With The Office door firmly shut behind him, the man formerly known as David Brent brings us his version of a political comedian. Not to be taken entirely seriously. Pavilion, Glasgow, Mon 79 8 Tue 20 Apr.
Roger Monkhouse No relation to dead Bob, as far as we know. And funnier anyway. See panel. Stand, Glasgow, Thu 22 8 Fri 23 Apr.
Comedy Gala Not one. Not two. But three established comics remind us how to laugh in this Fringe favourite venue. Namely, Adam Bloom, Lucy Porter and Andre Vincent. Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh, Tue 27 Apr.
funnytnan Michael Smiley and the ever
excitable (‘raig Hill. The Thursday Show The Stand. 333 Woodlands Road. 0870 600 6055. 9pm.
£6 (£5). Full force laughter master
The Franz Kafka Big Band The Vault. l 1 l0 Pollokshaws Road. Shawlands. 649 0007. 7pm. £5. Free- llow. fast-talking live radio show style performance.
Jongleurs Comedy Club
3 Jongleurs. UGC Building. Renfrew Street. ()8707 870707. 8pm. £7. Smug
Roberts with his comedy characters plus support froin Pattl (‘howdry. streetwise
Raymond Mearns rounds tip his flock of guests including local comics Susan Morrison and (ireg ML‘l'ltlgli.
The Thursday Show The Stand. 5 York Place. 558 7272. 9pm. £6 (£5). In your face comedian lan (‘ognito shares the stage with fortner Leith cabbie Patil McNeill. (iary Little and (‘hris Henry. The Snatch Social The Liquid Room. 9c Victoria Street. 225 2564. 10.30pm-3am. £5 (£4.50); £2 if dressed as a Bollywood hero and free for crossed dressed Bollywood heroes. Massive Bollywood special with Bhangra
collective 4 Play. Dhol players. Taj
(Scotland‘s own Asian beatboxer)
, professional dancers and other Indian
15—29 Apr 2004 THE LIST 81