short of killing a man. February

and chipmunk platters. July

mirrors and girdles. January

sp0use's weight in beer. June

estice feival, anyone?

We select the good, the bad and the downright ugly from around the globe

The Naked Man Festival, Japan

Over 10.000 male competitors clad only in lorn cloths line the streets of Saidaiji in a bid to capture a scented stick. No rules apply as the hoards fight for the prize. Anything goes

Annual Road Kill Cook-off Festival, USA

Like Masterchef but with one crucial difference all the menus feature animals uSually found squashed on the side of the road. Delicacies include squirrel in tarmac parcels

Bikaner Camel Festival, India

Bejewelled camels take part in camel pageants. camel dance performances. camel races and camel acrobatics. This festival shows the ships of the desert at their beautiful best. decorated from head to foot in preCious stones.

The Wife Carrying World Cup, Finland

This tradition originated in the 19th century when it was apparently common practice for men to steal Wives from neigthuring villages. Nowadays participants carry their partners over a 250m obstacle course in order to win their

American Testicle Festival, USA

A local treat known as the ‘Rocky Mountain Oyster'. AKA beer battered bulls' balls. is celebrated during this well patronised event. Hairy chest competitions and bullchip

throwing contests are among the highlights. Ju/y

Skirt Lift Festival, Spain

In San Pablo de los Montes. the fiesta of St Paul is the one day of the year when it's acceptable to lift up the ladies' skirts Without fear of sexual harassment law suits.


Lumberjack World Championships, USA

Two hundred muscle-bound lumberiacks and lurnber;Hls ireallyi battle it (>th in a series of redneck trials. including speed chopping. log rolling and chainsaw racing.


The Singapore Rubber Duck Race, Singapore Over 123.500 rubber ducks are annually released into the Singapore River to race the hazardous half km course. Ducks can be 'adopted' and the Winning fov-rl's owner scoops a healthy cash reward.


The Great Tomato Festival, Spain

Reportedly dating back to a heated fracas in a cafe in 104:"). the world's largest food fzght uses over 125.000 kgs of ripe tomatoes as ammunition.


The Broomstick Beating Festival, Indonesia In this yearly example of masochism. men from the Villages

of Mamala and Morella enjoy a bout of beating each others'

backs With broom sticks and all in the name of holy purification. January


Sun tan cream/ waterproofs For the predicatably changeable Scottish summer that can go from monsoon to roasting spit Within minutes.

Toilet roll Essential for the female speCres. The evrl ponaloos have always run out when you need it most. It's ab0ut preserving your dignity. people.

Bin liner A simple household item With multiple uses. it can be sat on. slept

on or worn. It's all about the multi-tasking.

Condoms The great outdoors have many wonders.

Tent For that little piece of home in a field. Optional

extras include wall hangings.

lava lamps. shag pile rugs and bunk beds. Munchies Remember the

dodgy kebab vans With tasty

fodder made from reconstituted rat? Tempting. Nuff said.

26 THE LIST 2.7 May ~10 June 2001:

Hats Like a crustier version of Ascot. no festival would be complete Without its bi/arre array of hats. A fashion accessory must. Musical snobbery For those ‘my band is better than yours' drunken arguments.

Sleeping bag l or those who can't do Without a good night's kip. l, ightweights. Glow Sticks For anyone who grew up in the 1080s. l-veryone knows the eighties

are the new noughties. Acid faces aren't mandatory Gum shield For crowd (livers surfers everleier‘e: a

of expensive dentistry from someones boot. Moonshine Who needs beer or alco pops; let's go back to the old skool. Night vision goggles l' or the military minded. Avoid falling over something nast or people doing the nasty in the dark.

gum shield protects a lifetime

Tudor's expressive classicism and Akram Khan‘s explosive fusion of Indian and contemporary dance. Various Venues, Edinburgh, 0131 473 2001, prices vary.

I Edinburgh International Film Festival (18-29 Aug) The EIFF is the longest continually running film festival in the world. John Huston famously called it ‘the only film festival worth a damn'. In terms of international standing, it's up there with Cannes. Various Venues, Edinburgh, 0131 229 2550, prices vary.

I The Celtic Roots Festival (20-22 Aug) Jethro Tull, Shane McGowan and the Donnie Munro Band headline at this roots fest. Edinburgh Corn Exchange. 08700 600 1000. prices vary.

I Gaelforce 2003 (21 Aug-30 Oct) This festival celebrates Scottish and Celtic Culture. taking in music, dance. theatre and exhibitions in over 60 events. from the Langholm Festival to the Portpatrick and Galloway Folk Festivals. Various Venues. Dumfries 8 Galloway prices vary I Peebles Art Festival (24 Aug-12 Sep) Fony events and 20 exhibitions of theatre. music. crafts and talks. all courtesy of this multi—an festival. Various venues. Peeb/es. 01721 720371, Free—£8. I Strathaven Balloon Festival (28-29 Aug) Balloons take off at 6am and. weather permitting. an ‘evening glow' is planned around 8pm. Arena events take place Sun, 2—5pm. Strathhaven Park, Strathaven, 07555 860285, prices vary.

I Edinburgh Mela (4-5 Sep) This multiCUltural festival comes hot on the heels of the Summer festival stalwarts but is well worth the effort with its varied range of music. theatre. dance and family activrty. Pi/rig Park, Edinburgh. 0131 557 1400, Etbc.

I Orkney Science Festival (2-11 Sep) Experiments. talks. concerts and demonstrations. Various Venues. Orkney, 01856 8 76214 , prices vary

I Dundee Flower & Food Festival (3-5 Sep) Gordon Ramsay takes headlining duties at this mutt-faceted food and flower extravaganza. Camperdown Country Park, Dundee. 01382 434940, 26—27 (Free).