Re: Answer machine (494) ‘I'd like to be able to stop a thief or con-man in his tracks. look him dead in the eye and say: “Not today or any other day. Think about your actions and be on your way."'

So this is what Engelbert Humperdinck said he‘d do if he woke up with an astonishing ability? Sheesh. What a guy. Please could The List arrange for him to come outside Glasgow's Central Station with me late on a Saturday night. Providing he didn't get his anoient. dyed heed kicked in, it would be very funny indeed. Keep it real. Dincky.

Alex McDonald Glasgow


Re: Calcium Kid (494)

Miles Fielder's review of The Calcium Kid (493) is on a par with the other reviews of the film that I've seen or heard about; by all accounts. it somds pretty dire. l'm wondering how the film was financed and if the Milk Marketing Board is connected with its production in some way. At a time when obesity is growing (no pun intended) at an alarming rate. it is worrying. illogical and counter-productive that at the same time they are doing more to promote the consumption of milk. And a big con is just what it is.

Milk and other dairy products are just about the most fattening foods there are. as well as being responsible for a whole range of serious diseases. The Milk Marketing Board spent years drumming their 'Milk is full of natural goodness' slogan in to Our heads. omitting to mention that it is full of natural goodness for cows' babies. not humans. Cows' milk is completely different from human milk.

Sir Douglas Black stated qwte categorically “Milk is a killer. It is a nonsense to give it to children.' Parents who let their children see The Ca/Cium

2 THE LIST 27 May—10 Jun 2004


The List,

14 High Street, Edinburgh EH1 1TE

or The List at the CCA

350 Sauchiehall Street, Glasgow G2 3JD

or email editor©

Kid may wish to log on to the excellent website to arm themselves with the facts about the dangers of milk.

Sandra Busell


While we agree that cows' milk has been linked to a variety of allergic conditions. and may be the cause of other more serious diseases, we should point out that we have been unable to trace a quote from Sir Doug/as Black (formerly professor of medicine at Manchester University) of the kind you claim, except in a letter written by you to the New Statesman in 2007. On y0ur point about the funding of Calcium Kid. the Tories introduced legislation to abolish Britain ’3 five ll/li/k Marketing Boards in 7993. and since 7994 the marketing of milk has been undertaken by the private sector. So the simple answer to your question is No.


Re: Eating and Drinking Guide

As always. your guide to Scottish eating places made tremendously interesting reading especially since we regularly use these ‘facilities'.

We. as a country. depend on tourism as an industry. I could write a book on the appalling lack of attention to the customer we certainly have met with. It varies between lack of knowledge of the food available. lack of concern whether or not food is warm or cold. or even the staff not giving a hoot for the customers who have actually paid for the privilege of the service they are not providing!

A visit to a four star city centre Glasgow restaurant recently is not untypical. The room was almost empty but we are shown to a table so close to the only other table occupied that we could hear every word of our neighbour‘s conversation. What is the soup of the day? I'll have to find out.

Return ten minutes later with an indication. during all of which time the so called restaurant manager and other three staff had put the world to rights in an often seemingly hilarious way behind the bar. Yes. we walked out. Yes. we told the management and have been advised to warn them in advance next time we visit . . . whatever that means!

Of course. each bill has its demand for Gratuity clearly marked. Where are they now. those young enthusiasts who have been trained to make service a worthwhile

profession? Alastair McFarlane Glasgow


Re: Dirty man of Europe (493)

I enjoyed your article on green issues in Scotland. but couldn‘t find a mention of the beach pictured. Could you shed some light on its location? Marianne McCron

By email

lt's Morar Sands. signposted off the A830 near Mallaig.

It features both in Local Hero and Highlander.


Re: Seven Up (494)

new low every Saturday.

fucking donkey in that tourney and no mistake. Larsson is a good player and will be missed by Celtic fans as well as fans of other clubs (myself included). But dry your eyes. Donaldson. and keep your effusive words for the arts. It's what you do best. after all. Doug Johnstone Edinburgh


Just to clear this up from the start I am not a disgruntled Rangers fan. In fact. l'm a Killie fan. which subjects me to a whole different level of ridicule. but that's another story. Anyway. I'd like to complain about Brian Donaldson's ridiculous. overblown, over-the-top and just plain wrong two-page article on Henrik Larsson. Never mind that The List is an arts magazine. and nothing Henrik‘s done constitutes art. The List has not been alone in its hysterical weeping and gnashing of teeth at the departure of this footy player. ‘What happens when God abdicates' said The List on its front cover. Please. Larsson is a good forward. don't get me wrong. but let‘s not go nuts here. He‘s not a patch on the likes of Henry or Van Nistelrooy. say. He is. at best. a semi-precious stone in the rubble and grime of a Scottish league that seems to reach a desperate

Mr Donaldson's Hoops leanings have been obvious in the mag for a while now (the designers must be tired of hearing ‘can you stick a picture of a Celtic player in there?'). but here he's taken things too far. Retire the number seven shirt? Isn‘t that an insult to the likes of Kenny Dalglish or Jimmy Johnstone? Oh yeah. and Larsson did not help Sweden to third place in the USA World Cup. they got that far despite his hapless displays. Anyone who saw him will tell you he was a


An ideal drink for any occasion




CONTRIBUTORS Publisher & General Editor Robin Hodge


Editor Nick Barley Deputy Editor

Brian Donaldson Assistant Editors

Mark Robertson. Paul Dale Research

Helen Monaghan (Art). Rachael Street (Comedy & Sport), Henry Northmore (Film 8 Rock). Anna Millar (City Life. Dance & Theatre). Ruth Hedges (Classical. Folk. Jazz 8. Kids)


Sales & Sponsorship Director Amanda Mungall Media Sales & Marketing Assistant Barbara Crichton

Senior Media Sales Executives

Carol Ferguson

Rachel Shields

Media Sales Executive Brigid Kennedy Promotions and Circulation Manager Sheri Friers

Circulation Executive Keith Benzie


Art Director

Krista Kegel-Dixon Production Manager Simon Armin

Designer Lucy Reeves Subeditor Ashley Davies Production Assistant Russell Steedman

ADMINISTRATION Accounts Manager GeOrgette Renwick Accounts Assistant Manager Donna Taylor Reception

RaChael Street Edinburgh Office Susannah McMicking Glasgow Office Katharine Haslett

New Projects Director Mhairi MackenZie Robinson IT Andy Bowles

SECTION EDITORS Art Helen Monaghan Books Brian Donaldson City Life Anna Millar Clubs Henry Northmore (with Johnny Regan) Comedy Brian Donaldson Comics Paul Dale Dance Kelly Apter

Film Paul Dale

Food Barry Shelby Games lain DavidSOn Gay Nick Barley

Kids Ruth Hedges

Music Mark RobertSOn (with Norman Chalmers. Carol Main, Kenny Mathieson, Fiona Shepherd) News Ruth Hedges Records Mark Rooertson Shopping Nick Barley Sport Nick Barley Television Brian DonaidSOn Theatre Steve Cramer Travel Anna Millar

DVD Paul Dale