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Once an elemental unit to any child's external gatherings (along with gerbils. tomato plants and stolen Blue Peter badges) - the suburban tonoise was terribly mistreated. Poked. painted, nibbled and generally violated. these shelled Methuselahs went terribly out of fashion as domestic pets. But ads have started Creeping into the classified pages offering ‘Scottish reared tortoises‘. The law is unclear on this matter, but it's certain that if the tortoise is locally reared it will not have to go through a torturous slave trade jOurney so one may be guilt-free in giving one a home. Tortoises are cool; they eat grass and sleep for most of the year. Just remember these babies live for a long time. so make Sure you include Derek or Emily in your will.
10 THE LIST 10—24 Jun 200/1
1 Hip Hop Don’t Stop
Music Missy Elliott and Kelis head up this national rap tour which makes a welcome stop here. See feature, page 12. SECC, Glasgow.
2 The Filth
Comics A heady splash of fluorescent colours organically captures the excesses of Grant Morrison’s treatise on the power of the imagination. See Buy it This Fortnight, page 103. Vertigo.
3 Belle 8. Sebastian
Music The mighty collective play their biggest ever Scottish gig with this West End Festival jamboree. See Music, page 51. Botanic Gardens, Glasgow.
4 Euro 2004
Sport France may start as favourites but England, Spain, Germany, Holland and hosts Portugal may well fancy their chances. See Sport, page 99. BBC, Scottish.
5 From Here to Eternity
Art This powerful group show inspires awe in the tiniest natural form and the infinite space beyond. See review, page 89. Ing/eby Gallery, Edinburgh.
Records Still rooted in country rock, but generally unclassifiable, A Ghost is Born breeds another triumph. See Records, page 108. Nonsuch.
Dance The former small scale troupe and now major league player is led by the visionary artistic direction of Norman Douglas. See Theatre, page 64. Festival Theatre, Edinburgh.
8 Jersey Girl
Film A monologue-friendly return to form for Kevin Clerks Smith with Liv Tyler and Ben Affleck wildly better than expected. See Film, page 28. General release.
9 I Hate the 605
TV We all loathe the 805 but what's so wrong with the 603? Plenty, it seems. See TV, page 111 8804.
1 0 Little Big Man
DVD Arthur Penn’s tragi-comic anti-Western epic is a Zelig-like odyssey with Dustin Hoffman in glorious form. See DVD, page 110 Paramount.