Answer machine

One critic said meeting Glasgow- based artist DAVID SHRIGLEY was ‘Iike being a psychiatrist in session with one of the hospital’s most intriguing patients’. As he publishes a couple of quirky sketch books, we wonder just why he admires Jonathan Ross so much.

If you had one day to live, who would you choose to spend it with?

l'd spend it with all my pals and get horribly drunk so I wouldn't have to worry ab0ut waking up with a hangover

When did you last dance?

At my gallerlst Stephen Friedman's birthday party a few weeks ago. I hate dancing. I think It's because I‘m so tall. It makes me feel self-conscious.

What’s your lucky number? Can you tell us how it has proved to be so.

I don't have a lucky number but I have a lucky word. It's ‘congratulatlons'. Whenever scineone says that word to me I know that thlngs are good.

Tell us the punchline to your favourite joke? ‘Fuck off y0u red-nosed bastard!‘

What’s your favourite biscuit?


Which time in history would you have loved to have lived?

This time last year. I c0uld have had 60—1 on Porto winning the Champions League.

What song would you hate to be played at your funeral?

me (but you‘ve Failed to keep the event: of last night out of we Pare“. Tom.

128 THE LIST 10—24 Jun 2004

l'ma pies! oFfikeY, Mi'ni3tcr’, not a miracle worke’.

The theme tune to Quincy.

How big do you tip in restaurants?

Bigger than necessary.

When did you last laugh out loud while reading a book?

Just the other week when I was reading Headless by Benjamin Weissman. I'm not sure if it's really that good. but it certainly made me laugh.

What’s your least favourite country?

The Netherlands. All the men are twats and all the women look like David Bowie; except my friend Gerrie. Who would you like to play you in the film of your life? Who do you actually think would play you?

Hulk Hogan. Michael Barrymore.

When did you last cry?

l sometimes Cry when I'm tired and hungover. For some reason it's usually when I'm in the shower.

If you won a million pounds, what is the most expensive thing you’d go out and buy?

A hOuse by the beach.

What’s your biggest regret?

I try not to have them. But I do wish I‘d continued to speak French after I studied it at school.

Are you a cat or dog person?

Cat. I'm allergic to both though.

What’s your all-time favourite sitcom?

It's probably Dad's Army. It just had such great actors. Though Still Game is a big favourite in our house. What’s the longest time you’ve slept soundly in one go over the last five years?

About 14 hours a couple of times after having flown back from New Zealand.

Who is the best dressed British celebrity?

I kind of admlre Jonathan Ross. I know he's probably the worst-dressed celebrlty. but he doesn‘t care and I think that's cool.

I Rules and Kill Your Pets are published by Redslone Press, priced £5.95 and £6. 95 respectively.

John for rdel’f

“of! 50* floflmd the tattoo on Tom's arm?


0’ an“ "t wld lie/p 1F the police had My idea who w: Hard MM Undefgrcuml gang are...

You'd bdlf

him when “C [0415

wall! {Joni c, Milo.