‘I HATE ALL THAT TOUCHY FEELY CULTURE; IT'S VERY ANNOYING'
Art of darkness
BILL DUNCAN’s inventive new self-help pocket guide seeks to celebrate the Scots’ notorious propensity for doom and gloom, writes Allan Radcliffe.
l. likc mc. _\ou \\Ull|ti chccrltill} slap amonc \\ho \lippcil onc ol thoxc tin_\ nc\\ agc \clllhclp manualx into )oiii‘ (‘hrixtmax stocking. it‘s about timc _\ou
tlircctctl }tllll' socallctl lo\ctl oncx to\\artl\ that part oi
thc Dtittix\ilttp \ihcrc Bill Duncan's \\ttl'|\ l‘L‘\ltlL‘\. 'l'hc Duntlcc haxctl \xi'itcr has pi'otlticctl thc l'irxt \clllhclp gtiitlc that coincx \\ ith its o\\n monc} hack guarantcc to makc _\ou lich 'a hcll iii a lot \\oi‘\c than )ou tlitl lk'lorc )iiti \tai‘tctl'.
/'/ii‘ lli'i' Book or (’u/i'ui takcx as its starting point thoxc iiianitoltl tlour. couth} aphoi'ixmx )our giantlparcntx prohahh uttcrctl il‘ _\ott‘rc luck) cnough to hail trom \omcuhcrc north ol Scotland's ccntral hclt. "lhat hairn took in \in \\i hix mother's milk] and ‘\\'an tla§ a hrcath. anithcr tla_\ thc tlcath rattlc' arc Alllxl a couplc ol‘ thc morc niixcrahlc c\amp|c\ ot’ a turn—oli— phraxc that lctx \lip an almoxt glcclull} gloom} north L‘;t\l Ul‘ Sc‘ttllttlttl pt‘\\llttl\ltt.
Duncan. himxcll a hartl-gral‘ting principal tcachcr oi
linglish iii an .v\ngu\ school. \\ho\c strikingl) in\cnti\c
collcction oi \hort \toric\ 'l'i'ii' Shir/ins .S'i'liim/ for
('u/i'uiixix \\;l\ puhlixhctl to morc than lricntll} acclaim in Ztllll. admin to an abiding fascination with \uch tlthlt‘l't‘ :tlllllltlLN. "l’lic hook \tartctl off with the kiiitl\ of" thing\ }otii‘ gratin} uxctl to \a_\ to )ouf hc notcs. "l‘hcw \a_\in:_‘\ ha\ c a rcal linguixtic tlcnxit} to thcm antl \xhcn _\ou‘\ c got Stl ol thcxc aphorixmx laid out in horn of _\oti. it raixcs an intcrcxting titicxtion: \xhcrc titkN lltt\ lllllltl\L‘l CUIHL‘ l't'ttltt‘."
\\'ith poct Don l);llL‘l‘\ttlt ha\ ing rcccnth ptihlixhctl his Him/t iii .lp/iiirixmx. Bill Duncan hccomcs thc \ccontl Duntlonian \xi‘itcr in ax man} months to pa} trihutc to \uch pith} nuggctx ol~ \\ ixtlom. \Vhilc thc author atlmitx
to tlclihcratch \cntling tip thc most criminall} \acuotix ol the nc\\ agc manuals t‘l hatc all that touch) lccl} cttlturc. It's \cr} anno}ing'i his llk'i' Him/t ut ('u/i'iri intcructncx thc (“\llHL‘tl miscr} of thc aphorixmx \\ ith a \cricx ol cxxap ax hc attcniptx to contc\tu;ili\c thc (‘ahinixtx' mclanchol} \\Dl‘itl \icu. llix inxcxtigation has protlucctl cxxap on thc contrihution ol' think. thc punishing \xcathci'. thc hurtlcn ol' \xork. rcligion and death to thc |i\'c\ Ul- thoxc t'csithng in thc littl‘lh Cttxt. Ironicall). Duncan\ c\ocation ol‘ thc (lill'l’xllk‘\\ antl silcncc of thc illlltl\CilPL‘ is \uhlimcl} hcautiliul. llix pcrsonal mcmorics of his rclationxhip \\llil his \loical grandparents arc h) turns limit} and inci'ctlihl} mo\ ing. most poignantl} lHUNII'illL‘Ll h} thc chaptcr in which Duncan's grandl'athcr unlcaxhcx a quict tlc\a\tation in thc \xakc ol his \xil‘c'x tlcath. \Vith this in mind. thc
rcatlcr ma) \tcll hc Ictl to conclutlc that thc auxtcrit} ol‘ thc itpllttl'l\llt\ comcx l‘rom thc intcrnalixctl gloom of
thc (‘al\ inixt rathcr than \omc c\tcrna| inl‘lucncc.
So. liming lllllL‘il\ilL‘tl this cntcrtaining antl pimci'l'ul littlc hook on an appreciating public. and \\ ith his itch- haxctl lictional communit} thc Haar pro\ ithng plcaxurc to Icgionx ol lanx itL‘l'tt\\ thc l'K. LIUL‘\ Duncan ha\ c [Tittltx to gh c tip thc tla} job and gct stuck into a no\cl‘.’ 'l'm not \urc about a noxclf hc \a_\\. “I don't rcatl a lot or thcm. 'l'hc lLlL‘Ll ot a tra\cl hook appcalx to inc. nia_\hc about thc placcx l'm llllL‘l'L‘\lL‘Li in. Iikc thc ()rlxnc}\ or thc Hchritlcx. I'm quitc attractctl to \xcirtl gcnrcx. .'\llLl thc gcnrcx \ccm to hc gctting “Cll'tlL‘l' and \\ cii‘tlcr.’
The Wee Book of Calvin is published by Penguin Scotland on Thu 4 Nov.
=21 Bill Duncan The lit/e0 Book of Calwn is the Dundee chap's latest enlightened work. See prevrew. Penguin Scot/and; Ottakar's. Edinburgh. Thu A Nov. =2: Jostein Gaarder The author of Sophie 's VL/OT/d strikes again with a truly beautiful tale of family and fate With The Orange Girl. See revrew. l/Veidenfe/o‘ 8 Nico/son.
:2: Sten Nadolny The Discovery of Siowness may have one of the more apt titles of the year. but it's still a darn tine historical take On an Arctic explorer. See reView. Canongate.
=2: Jason A bizarre love triangle and musings on the eternal themes of sex. revenge and death with the wondeittil You Can't Get There from Here. See review. Fantagraph/cs.
=2: Marjane Satrapi Persepo/is 2: The Story of a Return is the sequel to a truly memorable memoir and takes an intriguing look at the historical roots of the current mayhem in Iraq. See review. Jonathan Cape.
=Z< Banipal Live The first ever tour of Arab authors in the UK brings together poets and authors from Iraq. Palestine and Lebanon, offering us a rare opponunity to explore Arab culture. histories and experiences through some respected writers. Sandeman House, Edinburgh, Thu 4 Nov.
=2: Stephen Donaldson One of the fantasy fiction world's brightest lights chats about his latest epic from the Thomas Covenant series. Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh, Wed 70 Nov. =E= Simon Singh The clever science chap With the snazzy. haircut (pictured) Opines on the phenomenon of the Big Bang. BlackweI/s. Edinburgh. Thu 78 Nov.
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