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Christmas is coming. the goose is getting fat. Who the hell eats goose? What does swan taste like? I bet Scissor Sisters know. they're, like. that decadent. eh’.’ Sadly on ‘Filthy/Gorgeous' (Polydor) 0 they drop their Elton John impression for a truly rank slab of electroclash retro disco.

The pitiful strummy pish of “Breathe In' (Mercury) 0 by Lucie Silvas is no better. She's a young songwriter who's already hobnobbing with Melua and Keating. which says it all. Blandness is not a trap pop rebel Ashlee Simpson has fallen into. Despite being as convoluted as hell, ‘La La' (Geffen) 0000 is actually a rather good splash of feisty. poppy rock, as Ms Simpson purrs about being an alley cal and a French maid. saucy wee minx.

David Kitt is not at all saucy. but the Irish lo‘fi song—whisperer's version of Thin Lizzy's ‘Dancing in the Moonlight' (Rough Trade) 0000 is pretty fine. taking an already chilled song and making it even sleepier. Delicate in a different way is After the Party EP (demo) .0. by The Catherine O'Halloran Band. a local foursome who blend beautiful, pure vocals with sweet melodies and simple piano-led arrangements to demonstrate promise for the future.

More local gentility appears in the form of Rick Webster's “The Palace of Thieves' (demo)

0.. . a straightforward but nonetheless touching snippet of melancholy singer songwriting from the sometime Unkle Bob frontman. Fellow Scottish strumrner Adam Beattie is more Tom Waitsy on ‘My Baby Calls' (demo) 0.. but. hell. there's nowt wrong with that.

Wearing their influences on their sleeves are Luma. a bunch of Bellshill (anglers following in the Fannies' footsteps on ‘California EP' (Red Haired) O. a decent enough Americana tinkle but with little spark about it.

The Very are an Edinburgh duo bashing out the usual White Stripes blather. except without anything like the songwriting nous or energy, on 'Dancefloor Hell' (demo) 0. . which steals the A- Team ritt and needs some serious editing. More successful at creating a scuzzy old racket are Dead Fly Buchowski. their debut single ‘Blackout' (Beggars Banquet) .0. sounding like Jon Spencer fronting Dawn of the Replicants. howling and yodelling and wonky riffs everywhere.

Detroit retroheads The Sights sound like an explosion in a tie-dyed T-shirt factory. ‘Circus' (Sweet Nothing) 0. is a ridiculous Hammond-led bluesy dither. like something waaaaay down the bill at Woodstock. man. Showing them exactly how it‘s done are The Mooney Suzuki whose ‘Alive and Amplified' (Columbia) 000. wins Single of the Fortnight hands down. With scary gospel screams. a rhythm section as relentless as that possessed lorry from Spielberg movie Duel and a hVsterical chorus that just won't die. it is an unhinged piece of music and. therefore. great. (Doug Johnstone)

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ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

Music Editor Mark Robertson picks the platters that mattered in 2004.

80 Elliott Smith, Kanye West. TV on the Radio, Phoenix, Modest Mouse. the Killers. American MUSIC Club and Sons and Daughters albums all contributed to the soundtrack of this past 365 days but Wilco's A Ghost is Born was among the very best. It was Supposed to be a (Leuntry record but was much more: tWisted, tender and brilliant. When The Grey Album surfaced it turned Danger Mouse into a cult hero and reminded us why hip hop is the most ingenious music anywhere. Nick Cave's double dunt of swoon and croon/swagger and pagger The Lyre of Orpheus/Abattoir B/ues was pretty much unbeatable. Unless yOu're Mike Skinner of course. as The Streets' A Grand Don 't Come for Free (679) was a breathtaking concept album inlaid wrth number one Singles. It was left to Franz Ferdinand to make an album which wrll rest on the shelf beside Definitely Maybe as perfectly capturing a moment in pop time.